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Old 12-07-2007, 01:11 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Tear-stained Eyes

You sitting there in their pain
Tearing at your veins
Breaking skin on your cold wrist
Clenching your blood-stained fist
Pain is flowing in your nerves
But you know its' what you deserve
Fills the air with writhing cries
Staring through your tear-stained eyes.

Last edited by ma/chem/rom; 12-07-2007 at 01:19 AM.
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Old 12-07-2007, 01:18 AM   #2 (permalink)
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... i meant 2 put this in EMO dammit... or wateva
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Old 12-07-2007, 10:42 AM   #3 (permalink)
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It doesn't even belong in the emo forum. It belongs in the songwriting forum and this is so cliche I don't see any further point in commenting on it.
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Ive seen you on muiltipul forums saying Metallica and slayer are the worst **** you kid go suck your **** while you listen to your ****ing emo **** I bet you do listen to emo music
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Old 12-07-2007, 02:28 PM   #4 (permalink)
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uhm, i suggest starting over...

this is honestly so bad i want to cry
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Old 12-07-2007, 03:50 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Conveniently this songs purpose seems to be to make people want to cry.
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Old 12-07-2007, 05:56 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by ma/chem/rom View Post
... i meant 2 put this in EMO dammit... or wateva
i hate you.
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Old 12-07-2007, 08:49 PM   #7 (permalink)
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my eyes hurt
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Old 12-08-2007, 03:23 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Blatant flaming is becoming more than tolerable on this forum, it seems. However, I agree whole heartedly. The nursery rhyming completely throws out any good qualities of this work, (which there were none either way), and it's entirely too emo.
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I think I know much better than you ever will how Mettalica is. I used to play for 2 years in a Mettalica cover band.



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Old 12-08-2007, 03:51 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Ace View Post
Blatant flaming is becoming more than tolerable on this forum, it seems.
Constructive critisism should be standard here.
Especially from other writers.
Flaming is fine, if it's done with humour and a bit of advice.

It was terrible though. :/

Room for improvement?
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Old 12-08-2007, 07:30 PM   #10 (permalink)
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and it's entirely too emo.
Don't encourage this
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