|12-15-2007, 09:43 AM||#1 (permalink)|
Offset Guitar Operator
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Manila, Philippines
the treaty of versailles in less than 5 minutes
the treaty of versailles in 5 minutes or less
the sound of my heartbeat numbs my ears with the noise of artillery fire and cluster bombs. planes fly above us tracing curves and drawing patterns in the atmosphere. our names are spelled, our banners are lifted, bilateral agreements are signed. it's a long way to the other side of the room, the path is long and winding. the roads that spill between the teeth and the fingernails are the only roads that lead back home. it takes a while to walk back, but it's the best way to go. home is where the heart is, and my heart is back the way i came. into the trenches again, into the trenches, paco.
|12-15-2007, 09:50 AM||#2 (permalink)|
Join Date: Dec 2007
Its a pretty cool poem! Its a nice concept and it seems like you've tried to put a bit of detail in to the actual character in the last line which is nice.
There’s something about seeing this city at night
Where we can say what we want and do what we like.
These streets are empty but we don't feel alone,
We can run in the dark and sleep on the roads.