please review
 

lyrics to an as-of-yet-untitled song.

with your tongue free of teeth you'll scream satellites
and swallow a sun that never shines
your eyes swelled to immeasurable size
raining on us it feels
like love
like love
like love

any feedback is appreciated.

Good so far... keep writing this!

So far it seems like perfect poetry... makes little to no sense and sounds very clever :)

good job.

I would like to hear or read it when it is finished.