i like it!

oh by the way, I thought it was awsome. That last post was just a tip.

I think its beautiful. expand on it if you can, maybe a few different words here in there, but i enjoyed it alot!

Strictly criticism:

Don't worry about rhyming every word or using every word when you sing it. You don't need to paint the whole picture, leave some mystery and something to the imagination.

I have plenty positive to say, but that won't help you. Good Luck.