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Old 06-15-2008, 11:02 PM   #11 (permalink)
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i like it!
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Old 06-18-2008, 08:16 PM   #12 (permalink)
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oh by the way, I thought it was awsome. That last post was just a tip.
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Old 07-08-2008, 11:36 AM   #13 (permalink)
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I think its beautiful. expand on it if you can, maybe a few different words here in there, but i enjoyed it alot!
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Old 07-08-2008, 11:53 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Strictly criticism:

Don't worry about rhyming every word or using every word when you sing it. You don't need to paint the whole picture, leave some mystery and something to the imagination.

I have plenty positive to say, but that won't help you. Good Luck.
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