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Old 08-15-2008, 12:36 PM   #1 (permalink)
infamous nimbus
 
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Default orange and brown

I watched as it came out
it was all orange and brown
And I can see
a little piece of me
on the ground
I watched as it came out
it was all orange and brown
you'd never guess
if you tried your best
if you heard the sound
i watched as it came out
it was all orange and brown
if you want to look
down by the brook
it might get you down
its all orange and brown
its all orange and brown

Last edited by Jadix; 08-19-2008 at 06:08 PM.
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Old 08-17-2008, 09:44 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I love poetry like this. This is singlehandedly the best piece I've seen on here.
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Old 08-19-2008, 06:07 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lucifer_sam View Post
I love poetry like this. This is singlehandedly the best piece I've seen on here.
well i dont know about that, but thanks. Its kind of empty to me.
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Old 08-19-2008, 09:45 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Can you explain it?
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Old 08-20-2008, 12:00 AM   #5 (permalink)
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It's open to interpretation. I could take a whack at it, but I know it was probably a stream of consciousness turned into a poem. That doesn't damage the integrity of the piece, it just means that it wasn't over-the-top.

I love pieces like this because they really show how vulnerable the human mind is and how truly banal our thoughts are. Nobody "thinks" of poems; they use their cognitive abilities to pick and choose how to express themselves. But when it comes out so unblemished and unedited, that I think is when the vibrance really shows.

I love this poem because there isn't anything to overanalyze or criticize. It's just...there, and you can draw on the writing over and over but you won't find some enduring symbol or metaphor. And that's great, really great, when all the **** is absolved and you can write poetry like it really was YOURS.
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Old 08-20-2008, 03:19 AM   #6 (permalink)
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ya thats kind of the idea. i wanted to make it ambiguous so that whoever tried to interpret it would get their own image of what they thought was orange and brown.

The image or feeling i get when i read it is one of sickness, despair, and shame.
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