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-   Song Writing, Lyrics and Poetry (https://www.musicbanter.com/song-writing-lyrics-poetry/)
-   -   Decay (https://www.musicbanter.com/song-writing-lyrics-poetry/34330-decay.html)

Frozen Angel 01-20-2009 04:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by aveneficus (Post 546171)
I liked this a lot.
I have only one suggestion:
In the last line of the third stanza, possibly changing the word 'like' to 'as'.
It keeps the same meaning, but I feel like it flows a bit better.
Just a suggestion, good work. :)
agreed...like to as.

PerfectRandomness 01-24-2009 05:50 PM
i like this structure and the rhyming works well. it does seem a bit short though. i think a fourth and maybe fifth stanza could finish it up pretty well.


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