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Music Banter (https://www.musicbanter.com/)
-   Song Writing, Lyrics and Poetry (https://www.musicbanter.com/song-writing-lyrics-poetry/)
-   -   Review My Catchy Pop/Acoustic/Indie Song? (https://www.musicbanter.com/song-writing-lyrics-poetry/36395-review-my-catchy-pop-acoustic-indie-song.html)

Mike Smith 01-17-2009 03:06 PM
Review My Catchy Pop/Acoustic/Indie Song?
 
Its untitled at the moment but heres the song i'd like you guys to take a look at and review if possible!

Verse 1:

I need your love
But I know I cant get it

Ive missed your face
Since you walked away from me

Chorus:

And I'm trying, trying, trying
Trying to walk away

And I never, never, never
Think this love will fade

Cause I miss your face
And I need you now
In my life

Verse 2:

Since the day you walked away
Ive never been the same

All I have to say is
I want you back babe

Chorus:

And I'm trying, trying, trying
Trying to walk away

And I never, never, never
Think this love will fade

Cause I miss your face
And I need you now
In my life

Repeat Verse 1:

I need your love
But I know I cant get it

Ive missed your face
Since you walked away from me

Chorus:

And I'm trying, trying, trying
Trying to walk away

And I never, never, never
Think this love will fade

Cause I miss your face
And I need you now
In my life

yoboe 01-17-2009 03:48 PM
do you have a recording? the lyrics are pretty good, sorta short tho

Mike Smith 01-17-2009 03:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by yoboe (Post 580677)
do you have a recording? the lyrics are pretty good, sorta short tho
Unfortunately i dont have a recording yet as recording studios up here in maine are pretty expensive and i have no money

the closest time i can get to a recording studio would probably be like in 3 or 4 months time =/

WWWP 01-18-2009 12:20 AM
I don't think you could get more cliché if you tried.

Mike Smith 01-18-2009 04:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by wolverinewolfweiselpigeon (Post 580817)
I don't think you could get more cliché if you tried.
haha it may be a bit cliche

but songs like these sell to record labels and managers when searching =]

Wifey Boozer 01-18-2009 06:07 PM
Sell your HEART and SOUL while your at it MAN. :(

WWWP 01-18-2009 11:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike Smith (Post 581158)
haha it may be a bit cliche

but songs like these sell to record labels and managers when searching =]
YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!!!

Dr_Rez 01-18-2009 11:51 PM
Another tip, if you actually contribute to the forum a little and THEN ask for people to give feedback...then it may go a bit better.

mr dave 01-19-2009 12:35 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike Smith (Post 581158)
haha it may be a bit cliche

but songs like these sell to record labels and managers when searching =]
better than working as a phone monkey in a call center. good luck. maybe slap in a cover of some sappy 60s tune

Mike Smith 01-19-2009 06:39 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by mr dave (Post 581385)
better than working as a phone monkey in a call center. good luck. maybe slap in a cover of some sappy 60s tune
lol thanks :]

My career is actually The US Army right now

But im working on my music while im in the army so i have a better chance of finding a manager when i get out and move to los angeles to pursue music/acting.

I havent gone to basic yet, ans i dont go until june when i graduate high school haha

But thanks for the input everyone

And i will contribute more on the forum before posting something else like this ok

By the way, i have a myspace up of my solo career so far

Its myspace.com/poolofradiance

I have 2 demos up now

So yeh :]


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