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Old 01-17-2009, 03:06 PM   #1 (permalink)
Groupie
 
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Posts: 11
Default Review My Catchy Pop/Acoustic/Indie Song?

Its untitled at the moment but heres the song i'd like you guys to take a look at and review if possible!

Verse 1:

I need your love
But I know I cant get it

Ive missed your face
Since you walked away from me

Chorus:

And I'm trying, trying, trying
Trying to walk away

And I never, never, never
Think this love will fade

Cause I miss your face
And I need you now
In my life

Verse 2:

Since the day you walked away
Ive never been the same

All I have to say is
I want you back babe

Chorus:

And I'm trying, trying, trying
Trying to walk away

And I never, never, never
Think this love will fade

Cause I miss your face
And I need you now
In my life

Repeat Verse 1:

I need your love
But I know I cant get it

Ive missed your face
Since you walked away from me

Chorus:

And I'm trying, trying, trying
Trying to walk away

And I never, never, never
Think this love will fade

Cause I miss your face
And I need you now
In my life
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Old 01-17-2009, 03:48 PM   #2 (permalink)
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do you have a recording? the lyrics are pretty good, sorta short tho
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Old 01-17-2009, 03:54 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yoboe View Post
do you have a recording? the lyrics are pretty good, sorta short tho
Unfortunately i dont have a recording yet as recording studios up here in maine are pretty expensive and i have no money

the closest time i can get to a recording studio would probably be like in 3 or 4 months time =/
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Old 01-18-2009, 12:20 AM   #4 (permalink)
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I don't think you could get more cliché if you tried.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BassoonPlatoon View Post
I wasn’t writing a haiku. Just because you want one doesn’t mean you’re going to get one.
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Old 01-18-2009, 04:29 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wolverinewolfweiselpigeon View Post
I don't think you could get more cliché if you tried.
haha it may be a bit cliche

but songs like these sell to record labels and managers when searching =]
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Old 01-18-2009, 06:07 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Sell your HEART and SOUL while your at it MAN.
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Old 01-18-2009, 11:45 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike Smith View Post
haha it may be a bit cliche

but songs like these sell to record labels and managers when searching =]
YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!!!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BassoonPlatoon View Post
I wasn’t writing a haiku. Just because you want one doesn’t mean you’re going to get one.
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Old 01-18-2009, 11:51 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Another tip, if you actually contribute to the forum a little and THEN ask for people to give feedback...then it may go a bit better.
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Old 01-19-2009, 12:35 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike Smith View Post
haha it may be a bit cliche

but songs like these sell to record labels and managers when searching =]
better than working as a phone monkey in a call center. good luck. maybe slap in a cover of some sappy 60s tune
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I type whicked fast,
http://www.myspace.com/wallofpanda (updated 06/28/09-ish)
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Old 01-19-2009, 06:39 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mr dave View Post
better than working as a phone monkey in a call center. good luck. maybe slap in a cover of some sappy 60s tune
lol thanks :]

My career is actually The US Army right now

But im working on my music while im in the army so i have a better chance of finding a manager when i get out and move to los angeles to pursue music/acting.

I havent gone to basic yet, ans i dont go until june when i graduate high school haha

But thanks for the input everyone

And i will contribute more on the forum before posting something else like this ok

By the way, i have a myspace up of my solo career so far

Its myspace.com/poolofradiance

I have 2 demos up now

So yeh :]
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