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-   -   Blessed By A Broken Dream (https://www.musicbanter.com/song-writing-lyrics-poetry/38473-blessed-broken-dream.html)

thisWARisours 03-16-2009 07:59 PM

Blessed By A Broken Dream
 
Chrous:
I, can not help myself can, you help complete me.
I, can not complete myself, can you please help me.

I, cannot live.
I, cannot live.
I, cannot live.
Without you.

Verse 1:
Blessed by a broken dream, and thou heart shall desire.
Loneliness is killing me, trapped in like barbed-wire.

I don’t think I can live like this, oh can you take me now?
Without you I can not exist, my heart will not allow.

Bridge:
Oh how I wish, that I could live, just one more day with you.
You can’t begin, to comprehend, just how much I love you.

Oh how I wish, that I could live, just one more day with you.
You can’t begin, to comprehend, just how much I love you.

Chorus:
I, can not help myself can, you help complete me.
I, can not complete myself, can you please help me.

I, cannot live.
I, cannot live.
I, cannot live.
Without you.

Verse 2:
Shattered dreams will end my life,
This is where I stand tonight.

Schizotypic 03-17-2009 12:33 PM

The trouble I find with songs are that I can't tell just by looking at the lyrics how they are sung. Most of the life of a song has to do with the music, IMO.

Shoe 03-17-2009 07:24 PM

Sorry bruh, you seem to be a fellow "scenester" (labels :( ) so I'm gonna be straight up and say you really need to work on not fitting into every cliche possible. This is WAY to generic. Write something original that hasn't been done a thousand times. I think if you work on it you could get it because I can see you know how you want the music in your head but the lyrics need work dude.

Freebase Dali 03-17-2009 08:44 PM

^^^ Yup.

Try writing something happy. If you can't do it, then you're not a good writer.

C H R I S 03-18-2009 04:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Veridical Fiction (Post 616336)
^^^ Yup.

Try writing something happy. If you can't do it, then you're not a good writer.

Completely wrong.

darkcornerinthecloset 03-18-2009 07:37 PM

^^yeah, not to side with him just 'cause he looks on the dark side, but depression is good in music

Shoe 03-18-2009 09:10 PM

Yeah, Verdical depression can be implemented phenomenally in music because its such a deep emotion. But writing BADLY about depression... well that's just depressing. Write what you feel man. It doesn't make you a bad writer if you only feel sad.

sweeperscale1127 03-22-2009 11:06 AM

you may have wrote this but it sounds like i heard i before you need to come up with a new idea

darkcornerinthecloset 03-23-2009 08:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sweeperscale1127 (Post 619711)
you may have wrote this but it sounds like i heard i before you need to come up with a new idea

i think i heard "i, i, i adore you" in another poem on here. besides which "blessed by a broken dream" is cliche enough to have been used in a million and one other variations of this previously


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