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Old 03-16-2009, 06:59 PM   #1 (permalink)
Escaping His Fate
 
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Default Blessed By A Broken Dream

Chrous:
I, can not help myself can, you help complete me.
I, can not complete myself, can you please help me.

I, cannot live.
I, cannot live.
I, cannot live.
Without you.

Verse 1:
Blessed by a broken dream, and thou heart shall desire.
Loneliness is killing me, trapped in like barbed-wire.

I donít think I can live like this, oh can you take me now?
Without you I can not exist, my heart will not allow.

Bridge:
Oh how I wish, that I could live, just one more day with you.
You canít begin, to comprehend, just how much I love you.

Oh how I wish, that I could live, just one more day with you.
You canít begin, to comprehend, just how much I love you.

Chorus:
I, can not help myself can, you help complete me.
I, can not complete myself, can you please help me.

I, cannot live.
I, cannot live.
I, cannot live.
Without you.

Verse 2:
Shattered dreams will end my life,
This is where I stand tonight.
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Old 03-17-2009, 11:33 AM   #2 (permalink)
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The trouble I find with songs are that I can't tell just by looking at the lyrics how they are sung. Most of the life of a song has to do with the music, IMO.
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Old 03-17-2009, 06:24 PM   #3 (permalink)
Post Proggresive Folkcore
 
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Sorry bruh, you seem to be a fellow "scenester" (labels ) so I'm gonna be straight up and say you really need to work on not fitting into every cliche possible. This is WAY to generic. Write something original that hasn't been done a thousand times. I think if you work on it you could get it because I can see you know how you want the music in your head but the lyrics need work dude.
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If your love for music stops where you can hear the difference between 'super blackened green death metal' and 'technical zoomacroom symphonic metal', then you're a tosser in my book.
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Old 03-17-2009, 07:44 PM   #4 (permalink)
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^^^ Yup.

Try writing something happy. If you can't do it, then you're not a good writer.
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Old 03-18-2009, 03:45 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Veridical Fiction View Post
^^^ Yup.

Try writing something happy. If you can't do it, then you're not a good writer.
Completely wrong.
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Old 03-18-2009, 06:37 PM   #6 (permalink)
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^^yeah, not to side with him just 'cause he looks on the dark side, but depression is good in music
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Old 03-18-2009, 08:10 PM   #7 (permalink)
Post Proggresive Folkcore
 
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Yeah, Verdical depression can be implemented phenomenally in music because its such a deep emotion. But writing BADLY about depression... well that's just depressing. Write what you feel man. It doesn't make you a bad writer if you only feel sad.
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If your love for music stops where you can hear the difference between 'super blackened green death metal' and 'technical zoomacroom symphonic metal', then you're a tosser in my book.
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Old 03-22-2009, 10:06 AM   #8 (permalink)
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you may have wrote this but it sounds like i heard i before you need to come up with a new idea
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Old 03-23-2009, 07:29 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sweeperscale1127 View Post
you may have wrote this but it sounds like i heard i before you need to come up with a new idea
i think i heard "i, i, i adore you" in another poem on here. besides which "blessed by a broken dream" is cliche enough to have been used in a million and one other variations of this previously
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