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Old 04-22-2010, 09:16 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brykupono View Post
I like that you're not afraid to NOT rhyme all the time... seems like most beginning songwriters think they have to rhyme every other line. Good luck!
wow, I do that!
I also liked your song Ashleygrl, thanks for sharing it.
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Old 07-10-2011, 01:59 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Wink you wanted one of your songs noticed i can give you that

If you write a song that is not a love song i can sing it post it on youtube and at the start and in the description i will make sure everybody knows that you made it.
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Old 07-13-2011, 11:38 PM   #13 (permalink)
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your verse length is uneven, whilst this can be intentional it makes writing music for a song much harder because each of your verses are a different length. Keeping your verses the same length/meter means that the music will be consistant for each verse. Changing the length of a verse means each verse will have a very different sound and length to it which can in some cases work out well for a song but usually it will jsut result in the song being abit of a mess. So unless you already have music written or a tune to the music in your head then its better to keep the lyric as structured as possible.

Also structuring the lyric makes it more presentable and easier to read. try reading my lyrics to see how i have structured them which in turn makes them much easier to follow.
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regarding your actual lyrics, i do like them i think you certainly have what it takes, a way with words and an imagination to put them into a sentence that paints a picture or can stir an emotion, you should certainly keep at it.

Last edited by newmen; 07-13-2011 at 11:45 PM.
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Old 07-14-2011, 12:06 AM   #14 (permalink)
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double post
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Old 07-14-2011, 02:53 AM   #15 (permalink)
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i dunno, it sounds like a pretty generic relationship lyric to me

when I write lyrics, i tend to go for off-kilter subjects, and insert implicit double meanings in love songs, issues like obssession, stalking, perversion, etcetera
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Old 09-01-2011, 07:43 PM   #16 (permalink)
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i like it alot... lol, i keep things simple... especially comments
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