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Old 08-09-2009, 08:46 PM   #11 (permalink)
Music Addict
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 48

Originally Posted by Nicktarist View Post
I'm quite astonished. I didn't necessarily understand it until you said it was about the holocaust--then every single line clicked. You did quite an impressive job of capturing at least some of the emotion involved. Here are some of my favorite lines:

I would like to hear some music--as I feel that here, that might be the only place I'm at all qualified to critique.

Thank you, I am quite pleased to hear that, as my ultimate goal in songwriting is to make my lyrics as emotional as possible... and sometimes I feel like I can lose people when I do this because the only way I know how is with abstract metaphors.

Music is currently being written, and I am quite pleased with the result. It's kind of genreless, but if I had to describe it it would be Rock-Indie-Pyschedelic-Freak-Folk.
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Old 08-11-2009, 09:33 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 48

No more replies? Alright, here's the next on the album:

Oh, beauty,
twisted and lovely
you've become frail and lonely,
supported by wire
I mistook for hair
running my fingers though
snapping bones as you stare

at your ribcage,
grown warped and queer
tangled like a bone corset
expand your lungs, my dear
or are they compressed by your
desire to have a beautiful spleen?

Is this why
it was my breath you chose to steal
This is your life, beauty
numb even to things you can feel
your nerves are swimming in the sewer
where you caught me,
your legs bobbing like lures,
but they have drifted away,
and I have peeled the remains
and left you where you lay,
shriveled in your nudity

Oh, Beauty
I only ever knew your body
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