ocean and silence's sentience
 

hello, i'm new here. as a gift (YEAH! GIFTS!) i will post the lyrics of one of my songs. i will let you interpret/decipher it.

reflect your reflection
rivulets drizzle to
match your tension

you're no hoyden
yet seek to join them
in despair

..it's something you can't just wish away.

apply your mask
a simple task to
conform a lie

your eyes never falter
a stultified halter to
see you through

..it's something you feel the need to take away.

and while Lachesis hold you
Charon murmurs:
"she's a lucky one"

lucky one
lucky one
etc.

i'd like to know what people think my lyrics mean. any comments?

Hi OceanAndSilence,
Hmm..this is somewhat tricky. I am not sure how many of the words are to be understood literally vs. metaphorically. What I imagine, when I read the lyrics, is a young woman who is unhappy about something that is in her fate (and thus Lachesis, one of the fates, holds her), such as perhaps her appearance or her awkward manner. She is looking at herself in the mirror applying make-up to change her appearance, to make herself look boisterous and cheeky (hoyden), although she isn't...she feels tense and troubled, like the rain outside (or potentially the tears on her cheeks). She knows distantly that she is lucky to be alive, thus the driver of the ferryboat to death (Charon) tells her so, but she doesn't feel lucky? Her eyes never faltering perhaps means that she can carry on with some facade and make it look real on the outside ("see her through").

This is my best guess.

--Erica

your general description is correct, just not in the same context. the song's about a family friend, she's 16 years old and she attempted to commit suicide. luckily (hence lucky one) her family got to her in time and she lived. i do not know the way in which she tried to take her own life nor do i wish to know; each person has their own perception of what the worst way to commit suicide is, so i left it arbitrary. obviously she didn't jump off a building or anything... it's also about how many women and female adolescents treat themselves in order to merge into the typical female stereotype. i don't see the point, and i guess she tried but it didn't make her happy at all... so that's why the situation is her staring at a mirror, crying, before she tried to take her own life. i guess i made it a little convoluted, but the message seems clear. any critique on the lyrics themselves? i still can't post links here yet.

dreamer, wrote this a few months ago.

my bare footsteps have trodden through the tests
and my feet need rest
from hot coals and stones at the brim
which left me callused at my every reckless whim

the pendulum swoops
i realise too late
i'm struck too soon
dreamer without a dream

time weaving laces, fading faces in the corner of my eye
beckon me towards my future
as the hands move, rough stones turn smooth
the clocks knows this truth; my bones will crumble soon

the pendulum swoops
i realise too late
i'm struck to soon
dreamer without a dream.

[instrumental bridge]

rest for bed, pain in head
i've seen too much, i know too much
the flows of time that knit my life
reveal the sight behind my eyes, they've seen too many lies

the pendulum swoops
i realise too late
i'm struck too soon
dreamer finally sleeps.

babel

over centuries we built brittle sheds
now we wander over weathered treads

we fill the cusp of death valley
we wait for the deluge to flow our way

in fractured ruins we ululate, and throw it all away.

I wonder, do you mean to write in lowercase? I really enjoyed Babel. What inspired you to write it?

i used to be a grammar nazi on another forum. it got tiring after about 2k posts, so yep i mean to write in lowercase.

the biblical story of babel, the ken robinson speech i posted up here, and aspects of humanity inspired me to write babel... you can see the song on my youtube channel; YouTube - OceanAndSilence's Channel

i want to record a hi-fi version but i'm waiting for my pc to be repaired

It's beautiful.

I like your voice better at the very beginning, though.

i really like that. the fact its really short, makes it so much better.
i dont know particuarily what it is about it i like, i would love to know so i could give you better feedback, but i dont know, i just find it really interesting :D

thanks kayleigh. when i write songs i only try to put in what's necessary within the context of the song, whether it be musical structure or lyrics. maybe you like it because it is open to interpretation? i don't really ever use literal lyrics.

thanks. that was when the song was fairly new, i sing it better now. i get my pc back soon, when i do i'll add in some perc/ambience with protools and post up those versions here.

Eh. I wouldn't add anything extra. I really like the acoustic.

most of the songs i've written i can hear more than just acoustic. some don't work out as well as i planned, babel might be one of them. what i'm going to add will be very subtle

You can have two versions.

One for me.

And the electronic one. xD

i'll take some drugs first

Okay, cool.

drugs are NOT cool! don't listen to her, children!

False alarm.

I thought my song was ready.

hah, i'll message you when it is. for now i'll put up the second song/lyrics i ever wrote. it's about not really being confident in my songwriting ability and issues of conforming. apparently i'm an issues man

tall tree

the taller i grow, the more i sway
harsh winds blow from all sides
each tree's growing its roots deeper each day
and we sometimes let that growth fall to waste

so my eyes are unhatched eggs
which make my mind beg
to use my words but
my ears fear what they'll hear
yet i ignore it, and smell the roses

the water in my hands is running through my fingers
the soil at my feet stays parched
it's easy to see we can't stay this way
lest all the roots and leaves wither in our path.

and my eyes are unhatched eggs
which make my mind beg
to use my words but
my ears fear what they'll hear
yet i ignore it, and smell the roses

pretty simple, but i enjoy playing it, so i usually start my sets with it.

i will have recordings of some of my songs up soon. here is my latest foray, entitled 'happy days'

doesn't matter where i go
there's no one i know
it's all senseless words
in measured indulgences

sadness dapples the streets
in the glances that fail to meet my eyes
and it all conflates to
an overwhelming trinket

it's raining again

raining... inside my head

i've been digging a long time
i know you must get low for the gold
under all that dirt makes me feel to let go

it's raining again

raining... inside my head

[bridge]
rainin' repeatx8
and i'm runnin'
runninx8

runnin' away, again

when my skin is splotched and my hairs are grey
and all the dross of life has floated away
i'll look back upon this place
thinking "those were the happy days"

thinking... these are the happy days.

once i get the mix/master of the song i'll upload it... i recorded it (with a vintage tape machine!) today.

mix of the first take;
clicky

Hi OceanAndSilence,
I listened to both "Babel" and "Happy Days" and especially like the shifts in energy in "Babel," which has a lot in it musically. I didn't expect that because the lyrics are so short! I enjoy the thoughtfulness of your lyrics--they have a wide scope (looking at humanity's tendencies, divisions, lack of appreciation for things, and feelings).

I especially like the line, "in the glances that fail to meet my eyes" because I also feel it is sad when people walk along streets ignoring each other, and the line, "all the dross of life has floated away" to describe what you think it may feel like becoming old.

I had wondered, reading the lyrics, if the phrase "happy days" would trouble me when I listened to it (because I probably watched all the "Happy Days" episodes with the Fonz when I was growing up), but it didn't...it felt more like the nostalgia of looking back on life, which is what I think you meant.

One line I was confused about was "under all that dirt makes me feel to let go." Do you mean it makes you feel like you *want* to let go? I felt as if some words were missing.

The "Happy Days" song is much more leisurely than the first song, with fewer unexpected changes musically, so it may not hold people's interest as well as the first one does (which depends on the person, of course!). In both songs I like all the emotion you put into them...you seem very much in the moment, and that comes across in your singing/playing.

--Erica

thanks miss. regarding the line that doesn't grammatically make sense... i just kept it that way because it sounded right. similar to the way some of "mr. tambourine man" isn't exactly correct but it works. you're right about the song, it's about nostalgia and taking things for granted.

i'm thinking of adding in strings on the chorus in happy days so it isn't so stagnant. i have to borrow my friends midi keyboard and then post an update. i also may re-record it so there is less diffusion (i recorded both guitar and vox at the same time).

i prefer playing live in intimate settings; it suits my music and people will listen...

this is the song from the first post.

4shared.com - online file sharing and storage - download Lucky One.mp3

i just finished recording/mixing. the producer did it for free so there's no real incentive to make a masterpiece, but i feel it's pretty good; however i strongly believe there's something missing. i think i need to embellish the song more with those subtle sweeps that you can hear pan right, as well as other little liberties that i think need to be added in... some i couldn't put my finger on though. this song is *almost* complete, i thought i'd ask you guys for some input.

anyone have critiques?

Hi OceanAndSilence,

Your recording of "Lucky One" often has many lovely moments where you harmonize with yourself. Combining so many voices into one piece is challenging, I think, because any place where one of the voices is out of tune sticks out.

I prefer your middle voice more than your higher voice, which sounds like a falsetto, though I know you prefer to express your feelings in your music using your higher voice, right? Sometimes the combination of all the pitches makes it hard for me to understand the words--and I'd like to be able to. While listening, I felt it would be nice to hear more solos and less harmonization (rather than using harmony throughout the piece with just a few exceptions).

The song overall feels casual and pensive with a touch of sadness, which matches your lyrics and their meaning that I recall from your earlier post. I agree with you that the song feels like something is lacking...perhaps another layer to the music. I think near the end I heard a few bells (beginning at 3:34) playing descending notes...and I liked that. The guitar playing is nice but quite repetitive with the same short-shooorrt-short-loooooong strumming pattern, and it creates a lazy relaxed feeling, but I would prefer more variety in the strumming to stir the song up more, perhaps to accentuate one of the stanzas giving more emphasis and internal structure to the song.

I especially liked your vocals at 4:04...when your solo voice (in your middle range) became very strong compared to the harmonizing voices. I would like to hear more variation throughout the song so that rather than the gentler sing-song quality throughout there are more of those vibrant, strong moments like at 4:04. At 4:04 your voice made my interest perk up...and so I started to listen more closely...and was surprised the song ended so quickly afterwards. I expected some longer feeling of climax in the song...not the quick, gentle resolution.

Goodness. Is it possible to write about music without it sounding sexual? :)

--Veg

thankyee vegangelica

music is sex, so nahhh

i do like to sing in falsetto, but i never sing the song live in the same way that this recording has been produced. the most similar comparison to the way i sing it live would be "fake plastic trees" in terms of vocal technique.

i need to put more vocal tracks in, maybe more with my modal register like you suggested. the idea from the start was to make the song sound choral. the dragging guitar is sluggish because time seems to slow when you're depressed. i think adding more ethereal sounds will take the focus away from that later on in the song.

i'll work on it more with my own equipment. i'm going to borrow my mate's midi keyboard. wish me luck hurgle durgle

raw'd

Hey OceanAndSilence,

I like your solo recording of "Lucky One"--perhaps even more than the choral version--because the simplicity of it focuses my attention on your solo voice, which has a sweetness as well as an intensity that are compelling.

I still especially like moment 4:08 because of the strength of your voice. Since the lyrics (like we discussed earlier) are not simple and straightforward, it helps that you have a very emotional voice to give the feeling of the song, since if I were hearing it for the first time I wouldn't know the situation that the lyrics were describing.

It seems that the resolution at 4:08 and after was a little more drawn out in this solo version than in the studio version, and I like the additional time given to come down from the...ahem...climax.

My, you hold very still at the end! :) And where is your shirt!?

thanks vegan mistress!

i'm not much into writing poetry without writing music for it, but i wrote this after one of those druggy nights. it's something i wrote quite a while ago, about a year ago actually. i tried to turn it into a song back then but i couldn't, and i don't plan to any more. it's about a remarkable woman i know.

pick up that bottle of red
drown yourself in it
warding off others
shaking in your web
with a message that doesn't help you, or me
and it doesn't fulfil your desires
...you don't know what does
but that won't step in your way, right?

so. look in those swirling ripples
you know them so well
although you won't, don't tell anyone;
because you think that knowledge can
sometimes work against you

and you feel 'complacent' on top
but much less than that below
and you still wonder as you look at
all those shapes if there
is someone
just like you

out there?

'cause 'they' say "the worlds an oyster!"
you're not sure if you want to open it though
because you think that knowledge can
sometimes work against you

and if you let it, it will

you're an amazing musician, we should collab: Find People. Make Music. Online - Indaba Music



i found a live version of dreamer

EDIT: i made an edit to "Babel" so it doesn't sound so evil after the line fractured ruins
http://www.box.net/shared/d4tggvyjz2

thanks for that edit, i'll record a hifi version when i get the time. haha, that video is evil. the song wasn't complete and i was new to live performance; you can tell i was nervous. it's played way too fast. i'll upload some more songs including dreamer to this space soon, it's 3:30am so i'll sleep and edit this post later. i played 3 gigs today, i can tell you that tires you out so much, but it's all completely worth it. can't imagine doing anything else...

Actually, OceanAndSilence, I quite like the video that Stone Birds found of you singing "Dreamer"--I couldn't tell at all that you were nervous and felt the speed sounded just fine! As always, you look very into your music. The conviction and intensity of your performance draws me in.

I'm also glad to hear you are enjoying your busy schedule performing! Being able to do something you love, where you can't imagine doing anything else, is a wonderful feeling.

like I promised, here are some more demos, friends.

dreamer, completed;
4shared.com - online file sharing and storage - download Chris Neto - Dreamer.MP3

an older song which I brought back after changing the rhythm and tempo;
4shared.com - online file sharing and storage - download Chris Neto - Motes.mp3

I played in manly yesterday, a gentleman approached me as he wanted to record and distribute my music, he was seriously into it. over the next few weeks I will be visiting his property (huge place in the country), get some solitude and serious recording done.

"Motes" reminds a lot of Bon Iver's "Lump Sum" but still enough uniqueness i love it
the samples in "Dreamer" are really cool

yeah I'm going to fiddle around with the vibe a bit, it struck me after I had done it, probably subconsciously.

w.i.p. (edited with complete version)

you drank from my pool.
we needed more growth
I didn't know silence spilt during alder rain

in linen drab
i cradle my core
I keep it, for us... in a lockbox with gilded trim

weren't we so tired?
I need a good note to end the night on

your lyrics are truly a treasure to behold, i wish i could make lyrics that deep, (though i'm good with making it catchy)

I have a few years on you (in age) though. even though age isn't relative to experience... sometimes it is.

i started loving music age 11
i started making music age 12
i'm currently 15

new song bro

chrisneto - Chris Neto - Alder Rain - SoundCloud

someone else mixed this; I may do some of my own dirty work to smooth out some kinks.

Yeah