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Old 11-11-2009, 04:33 PM   #1 (permalink)
I Am the Lizard Queen
 
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Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 134
Default Pillowmint's Songs

These are meant for a female fronted metal or metal-ish band, like Nightwish. I have put up other songs on here, but I think I should have one place to put them. Anyhow:



There are no words left to say
But there is more than one way to behave
With one eye through the looking glass,
The mask I wear is shame
My last wish is my first lie,
How I wish I couldn't die

What stays my hand is hope
Of a better resting place
There is nothing that I can do now
That would save me for a day,
But I hope that

With one eye through the looking glass
The game I play is life
My last wish is my first lie
I hope I'm ahead of my time

I will love again when there is hate
Enough for us to negotiate
There is no choice that I now have
But that which is a trap
You couldn't save me,
At least give me a map to hell

With one eye through the looking glass.
The mask I wear is shame
My last wish is my first lie,
How I wish I couldn't die

What stays my had is hope
For a better resting place
There is nowhere I can go now
Free from the dreams erased
You couldn't kill me,
At least take my strength, my grace
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Old 11-13-2009, 01:09 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Posts: 134
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These have both female and male (screamed) vocals:

Forget empires-
Like tears, they're meant to fall
Forget your gods-
I fear they will not catch you when you fall
Regret desires-
They brought you this far, but no more
Regret untruths-
In short, everything but your youth

(screams) I still remember the day
When the only thing I felt was rain-
I know it's sad, but
That's the only time I felt sane.
Philosopher King, you allow so few
Into this glorious place you've made-
Reality, it seems,
Favors all but the brave

(Female) Forget me-
I am but air for you to breathe
Forget your task-
It's just another test you cannot pass
Regret her smile-
Clearly, it never brought you much worthwhile
Regret your shame-
But not the accompanying pain

(S) I still recall the way
I felt when I first saw your face-
I was wrong, but can't be blamed,
It was before my fall from grace.
Philosopher King, you allow so few
Into this glorious place you've made-
Reality, it seems,
Favors all but the brave

(F) Forget their laughs-
They will not live to see eternity
Forget your past-
Don't die for nothing, die for facts
Regret worship-
It stems from the same old sacrifice
Regret mankind-
Whatever you say, they'll disagree with you


(S) In time I learned to trade
my sorrow for their sake-
I killed time to save the day,
I didn't sell out, I just gave in
Philosopher King, you allow so few
Into this glorious place you've made-
Reality, it seems,
Favors all but the brave

In time I learned to trade
my sorrow for their sake-
I killed time to save the day,
I didn't sell out, I just gave in
Philosopher King, you allow so few
Into this glorious place you've made-
Reality, it seems,
Favors all but the brave

In time I learned to trade
my sorrow for their sake-
I killed time to save the day,
I didn't sell out, I just gave in
Philosopher King, you allow so few
Into this glorious place you've made-
Reality, it seems,
Favors all but the brave

In time I learned to trade
my sorrow for their sake-
I killed time to save the day,
I didn't sell out, I just gave in
Philosopher King, you allow so few
Into this glorious place you've made-
Reality, it seems,
Favors all but the brave
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Old 11-13-2009, 01:10 PM   #3 (permalink)
I Am the Lizard Queen
 
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You cannot see
You cannot hear
The endless night
So very near
I keep dreams close
Fears closer still
Be gone from here
Sunset's so soon

(Screams)
Save all your dreams for me!
Your won't need them when you sleep!
I need them to hide his screams!
My sacrificed firstborn son!

(Female)
Nightmares are all I have,
And you can't take them from me!

(Screams)
On his gravestone lies a rose,
A reminder to a lost soul!
You have what I need,
But you won't give it to me!

(Female)
I tell them what they need, but not what they want
With so little light, we cannot see!

(Screams)
They say they can't go on,
So little hope, how can this be?
I tell them; Do it for him
They ask, "For who?", and I reply
For my long lost pride and joy!
My sacrificed firstborn son!

(Female)
I tell them where to look not what to see
You don't know what you need from me
You don't know what you need from me
You don't know what you need from me
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Old 11-17-2009, 03:28 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Comments welcome
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Old 11-19-2009, 12:14 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pillowmint View Post
These are meant for a female fronted metal or metal-ish band, like Nightwish. I have put up other songs on here, but I think I should have one place to put them. Anyhow:

You cannot see
You cannot hear
The endless night
So very near
I keep dreams close
Fears closer still
Be gone from here
Sunset's so soon

(Screams)
Save all your dreams for me!
Your won't need them when you sleep!
I need them to hide his screams!
My sacrificed firstborn son!

(Female)
Nightmares are all I have,
And you can't take them from me!

(Screams)
On his gravestone lies a rose,
A reminder to a lost soul!
You have what I need,
But you won't give it to me!

(Female)
I tell them what they need, but not what they want
With so little light, we cannot see!

(Screams)
They say they can't go on,
So little hope, how can this be?
I tell them; Do it for him
They ask, "For who?", and I reply
For my long lost pride and joy!
My sacrificed firstborn son!

(Female)
I tell them where to look not what to see
You don't know what you need from me
You don't know what you need from me
You don't know what you need from me
Hi Pillowmint,

First, I just want to say how cute your "name" is...whenever I read it I imagine a nice little mint resting on a pillow to welcome someone home or as a special guest...a nice image. Also, I agree with you that keeping all your songs in one thread is a good idea since it helps people see the connections among the songs more easily, is actually an MB rule, and probably increases the number of people who will comment on the lyrics...since my guess is most people gravitate toward threads that have more views! You could ask a moderator by private message to merge all your songwriting threads to pool all the views together (which I assume happens when threads are merged).

Now, onto your lyrics! I didn't know anything about the group Nightwish, whose songs and style are similar to what you imagine for your lyrics, so I looked them up and listened to a few of their songs ("Bye Bye Beautiful," "Wish I had an Angel," for example) to understand what "symphonic power metal" is, since Wikipedia told me that this Finnish group generally plays within that genre.

Based on what I read and heard, Pillowmint, I feel your song lyrics would work well for that genre. I will focus on the final song you posted. I feel it has the pattern of singing/screaming in alternating stanzas that I heard in some Nightwish songs. The subject matter has a similar feel to that used in their songs--your song is a dramatic or melodramatic poetic description of the sadness and misery of death/senseless killing, and makes some allusions to possible historic events (killing of firstborn sons in Egypt as described in the Moses story, I assume).

I especially liked this stanza:
Quote:
(Screams)
Save all your dreams for me!
Your won't need them when you sleep!
I need them to hide his screams!
My sacrificed firstborn son!
and actually felt it would be good to repeat it in the song as a chorus (which the song doesn't appear to have), since I feel this stanza summarizes a main idea of the song: the mother expresses the depth of her sadness by asking someone to do what can't be done...give her his (?) dreams so that she has some to try to cover up the constant, haunting memory of the murder of her child. The image that stays with me the most from this song is of someone so overwhelmed by the grief in her life that she has lost all her own dreams.

Say, what do these lines mean?
Quote:
You have what I need,
But you won't give it to me!
I was confused by this part of the song and what comes after. It sounds as if the mother is urging others to fight (in revenge), but I don't understand exactly what is going on. I *do* feel I understand the stanza about saving dreams for the mother, which is probably one reason I especially like it! When I read Nightwish lyrics, I noticed quite a few chunks where I couldn't figure out exactly what they meant, and so maybe that's part of what your goal is--to leave lyrics loose enough that people can interpret them in different ways. I also wondered if perhaps you are using some words more for mood than for their exact meaning, or when you write the lines do you have a precise meaning in mind for all of them?

--Erica
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Neapolitan:
If a chicken was smart enough to be able to speak English and run in a geometric pattern, then I think it should be smart enough to dial 911 (999) before getting the axe, and scream to the operator, "Something must be done! Something must be done!"

Last edited by VEGANGELICA; 11-19-2009 at 12:20 AM.
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Old 11-23-2009, 11:37 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Thanks for the response. I do want it to be rather vague. Honestly, I hadn't even thought about Egypt when I wrote this, I just thought of some lines that I thought worked well together. I will think about if there is a real "story" to this or if it just meant to sound good.
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