Kickin'

As I sleep off the day’s scream’s,
I wonder how you always find your way back into my dreams,

It’s not ever what it seems.

A vivid picture painted into my head,
I think about the time with me in your bed,

Painfully reminded of all the tears you shed.
(****, you’ve got that grip on me)

Chorus---
As I sleep! I’ll dream of your being
And when I awake, it’ll have a whole new meaning
See if from your dream you can hear me screaming!
As I sleep! I’ll dream of your being
And when I awake, it’ll have a whole new meaning
See if from your dream you can hear me screaming!

This is what happens when your face is so unforgettable
This is how I do when all my actions are so regrettable
Imagining that I could have you back as mine again
Imagining everything that spills from my pen
If only I had told you what I really knew
If only I could have kept you.

As I sleep! I’ll dream of your being
And when I awake, it’ll have a whole new meaning
See if from your dream you can hear me screaming!
As I sleep! I’ll dream of your being
And when I awake, it’ll have a whole new meaning
See if from your dream you can hear me screaming!

What could I do to find my way back around to you?

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Clinched tightly are my fists
As your lips press against his
I can feel the blood rushing from my heart to my hands
How can I control myself now?
(There no controlling this)

Apart from all the things that I have done
Where did I go wrong?
Apart from all I did for you
You were never true

(Chorus)
As much as I’d like to give you another chance!
I wasn’t ever cut out for this two timing romance!
Because at the second glance, your nothing but a beautiful lie.
You’re nothing but a ****ing surprise!

I’ll sweat this one off, like it’s a sickness
Forgetting your presence, I really hate this
The unfaithful show you gave me might have ended your life
(Don’t be surprised if you wake up in hell)
It’s hot but it’s where you belong
You’ll die and it doesn’t feel wrong

As much as I’d like to give you another chance!
I wasn’t ever cut out for this two timing romance!
Because at the second glance, your nothing but a beautiful lie.
You’re nothing but a ****ing surprise!

Angels will sing! – “****ing great that she didn’t make it,
Heaven is only for the true,
Things don’t always fall in place
But she fell when she was unfaithful to you!”

It’s hot but it’s where you belong
You’ll die and it doesn’t feel wrong (X3)

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If you have any questions about the lyrics I will be glad to answer them. Any compliments, hateful words, or critique are always welcome too.

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Forgive me for my extremely high IQ, it bugs everyone.

Lane1777

hello Kickin, I don`t come around here much, if I do its to read. I`m a simi-recluse, I can`t keep them all from my door.
the very first line in this drags people in to read more, thats good. then it drops a little [know what I mean?] I think you should keep slamming the people back in their seat in the first verse, I think you could do that. its the only thing I had a nit about, the song is very good. Lane
intelligence is a gift people pick-up on and want to be around,
I wouldn`t billboard it..

The Bullet

3/5, I'm not going to explain...

edit:4/5 for the first song, 3/5 for the second song.

Kickin'

Thanks for the advice lane.

Bullet - also thank you.

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Forgive me for my extremely high IQ, it bugs everyone.

dedicated

that first one is great. what style of music is it?

VeggieLover

I like the second song a lot better than the first one because it is a lot more clear what is going on. The violence of the man telling the story is apparent, the cause clear, the outcome mixed in obscurities and hard truths. Good job. The only part i dont so much like (in bold) is in the second stanza. It just isn't good english and it doesn't make sense. Re-work it and you've got a lot of potential...assuming the music fits it.

The first song just doesn't stand alone lyrically. There seems to be a lot of "filler" lines (in bold esp.) that take away from the power of the concept and confuse the meaning. It sounds a bit whiny and amatuer, one because its a common theme, and two because it is so repetive without real purpose. Take the time to sit down and focus one exactly what you are trying to say.

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"Not remotely! Because iocaine comes from Australia, as everyone knows. And Australia is entirely peopled with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you."

Kickin'

Ive had a friend play it acoustically with some awesome vocals (lol), but it is meant for the hardcore"ish" genre. Hoping someone will work with it sometime, seeing as that I don't play at all... hah.


Veggie lover - Thank you, I'll take it all into consideration. I think I like the second one more as well

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Forgive me for my extremely high IQ, it bugs everyone.

VEGANGELICA

Hi Kickin',

I agree with VeggieLover: I prefer your second song because I feel it tells a clearer story. Learning that someone who you believed loved you but does not and is not being faithful to you IS a very intense experience, and your song certainly expresses the anger component well...skipping over the sadness that I assume comes before the anger. The scary component of the song is that the singer seems to teeter on the edge of desiring murder.

My favorite lines are these:
Your song raises the question: can one still feel love and empathy for someone who has shown you neither love nor empathy? Your song suggests no...but the lines above suggest that it is hard to let one's own feelings of love die, even as the feelings shift to a maniacal desire to see the formerly beloved suffer as much as you do.

VeggieLover mentioned a problem with a line or two, part of which I put in bold. I am wondering if you think saying "despite" instead of "apart from" would work, because I feel using "despite" would make the line make more sense. Plus, the word has "spite" in it, which is part of the meaning of the song.

I would prefer the singer's description of where he wants the unfaithful partner to go (hell) did not actually use the word "hell." For example, if you were to just refer to hell using some other phrase, I feel this would sound more subtle and insidious. Wishing someone ends up in "hell" is such a common way to describe anger ("go to hell") that I feel describing hell in more creative terms would make the sentiment seem less cliche.

The angels in your song don't sound very angelic, so I felt your description of them added some humor to this song of imagined vengeance.

--Erica

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