On ASunnyDay

But, I was wondering if you had any feedback. ,.
I could use all sujestions, and I'll be putting up new stuff soon.

On ASunnyDay

What should be seen in color, is stuck in black and white,
My thoughts are getting foggy I just cannot stop the fight.
My visions getting blurry, like a lens stuck in reverse,
I need to hear your truth, because your lies are like a curse

This picture just won't focus, cause the target isn't clear
I'm not ready for this close up, you're just coming on too near.
The flash is finally fading, I see you for who you are,
I was blinded by my fairytale, from my wish upon a star

Chorus:
All these people look so different, when they're trapped behind the lens,
And they need a written script, because they're feelings are pretend.
Oh they're pictures just won't fade, cause they're glued into your hearts,
And you never saw it coming, but you should have from the start.

I was setting a selftimer, so I can catch you in your shot,
You were all I ever wanted, and only half of what I got.
I was playing out a fantasy, while you were acting out your scene,
You edit out the parts you want, and leave nothing in between.

With all the bright lit flashes, I'm not sure of what I saw,
Now that I'm through falling, I've hit the ground, and see your flaws.
You said the camera loved me, and you swore that you did too,
Now this love scene is done filming, and goes home the camera crew

Chorus



Feedback?

BillyShears

Best song you've ever written. it could use a finishing line, not neccesarily a verse, but a final salute to the idea of the song. Which is a great idea by the way. Do you have a tune?

__________________
What's this you say? Well, it's an exercise in futility, I do it twice a week to stay in shape.

On ASunnyDay

thanks! No, I have no tune yet. I'm working on it.. I don't play instruments, so it's kind of hard for me. Yeah, it could use an ending . If you have anymore sujestions please tell me! (:

On ASunnyDay

My feelings are complex, because I can't place them apart.
See, I want you nowhere near me, but I need you in my heart.
And I don't know why I want you, or I can't just let you go..
Because with you; I can't breathe, and without you; I can't grow.

Everyone said it seems easy, but I don't think they can see,
That I always made you better, and you're my favorite part of me.
And your eyes would always glitter, and you'd always make me smile..
But just like any other moment, good ones, only last awhile.

I don't wanna hear you love me, so you had to set me free,
I guess I was just an apple, while she was the whole damn tree..
I wanna be without you, to be with another guy,
But I know it's probably useless, so why should I even try?

And you just want to be friends, but I don't think that I can,
See, it isn't that I want you, I just don't want another man.
And I want to hear you love me, but I just don't have the time,
If I want a smiling face, and my tears to finally dry.

On ASunnyDay

You say I'm nice, well that's not enough,
I gave you it all, and you just gave it up, yeahhhh,
You want another chance, there's bout' no chance of that,
You're right, we can't forget, and I can live with that, oh, yeahh

And I can see you, in the rearview,
Looking back at me.
Now I can't see you, gone from all view,
I'm finally free.

And I still hear your voice,
And I still feel your touch,
But those days, are gone, away now.
And your still in my thoughts,
And you're still on my mind,
And their here, yes their here,
To stay now..
But that's okay now, ..


I need a second verse.

Feedback?

BillyShears

You don't really need a second verse, unless it's to move the story along, you could just put in some instrumental breaks.

__________________
What's this you say? Well, it's an exercise in futility, I do it twice a week to stay in shape.

On ASunnyDay

I know how this one goes, so it's my favorite, like musicaly. But I'm not so into the words.. They're pretty cliché, and I think I've heard something like it before. :P

On ASunnyDay

When you expext to much, use the world as a crutch.
Ready to fly, or only to lie.
What should be first choice, blends in with the rest,
You're at your worst, when you're at your best,
And your heart is bursting right out of your chest.

The world tells you to stop, but you need to try to go,
It's the times that your heart flops, when your passion starts to grow.

Life will have it's ups and down's, nothing that you can't work out.
I can't promise it'll be easy,
But I'll hold you in between.

When every broken heart, is a reason to restart,
Watching the sunrise or, pretending through closed eyes.
Everything your not, makes all you'll ever be,
Are you crying alone, or dancing with me?
Blinded by light, lacking the darkness to see.

The world, it puts you down, and you're all you'll ever know,
It's the times that your heart flops, when your passion starts to grow.

Life will have it's ups and down's, nothing that you can't work out.
I can't promise it'll be easy,
But I'll hold you in between.

You can't tell me how to play it, cause life's only just a game,
It'll agravate your wits, amd you'll never be the same.
Simple child's play, is a question to your name,
Stirring up your memory, and leaving you with shame.

Life will have it's ups and down's, nothing that you can't work out.
I can't promise it'll be easy,
But I'll hold you in between

On ASunnyDay

I'm having writers block. Any sujestions for that?