Unquestionable

Dr.Seussicide · 08-29-2009, 10:17 AM

I remember lucidly our thoughts
The days when we were whole and beautiful
Gentle caresses, sweet touches
The visage of beauty I've come to behold
I remember well... that we did care
What I saw in your eyes
These feelings can't speak false
Unquestionable it was my love...
Unquestionable.
I've yet to recall what went wrong...

Now you claim, we never existed
You claim that those magnificent eyes
Spoke deep into my soul...
Only to conjure these seeming falsehoods
Never say we never existed dear...
Never say you and I were a myth.
I'd prefer if it were only I who never existed
Please let it be I who never existed...
It was unquestionable...

Arya Stark · 09-02-2009, 08:43 AM

What is this about?

Dr.Seussicide · 09-02-2009, 04:41 PM

Oh ummm... it's about this girl I met, that I liked and we developed a relationship... or... so I thought I guess. And now everything between us feels meaningless... though I'm sure it wasn't...

Arya Stark · 09-02-2009, 06:11 PM

I like it. I'm glad I'm able to understand it more now, though.

Dr.Seussicide · 09-02-2009, 08:08 PM

Thank you... I'm glad you like it

VeggieLover · 09-04-2009, 05:25 PM

There wasn't anything that stood out particularly, but it didn't feel cliche, so good job. I pretty much knew what it was about without the explanation.

I might have to try my hand at some romatic themed poetry now

Dr.Seussicide · 09-04-2009, 05:39 PM

Lol thanks, I know I didn't have those few lines that you'd read and give you goosebumps as I wanted to, but I wrote it basically in about 10 minutes just to vent some feelings... lol

Next time I'll try to give you some chills and that line that you'd want to read over and over again

I'm looking forward to your stuff though!

VeggieLover · 09-04-2009, 06:24 PM

lol we'll see, one of my guy writer friends literally writes love poetry all the time! (but he won't let me read it unfortunetlly) I have personally never even attempted one with that particular theme... so it will be interesting on my end of the pencil anyway.

and i know you like those lines that ppl want to read over and over again and quote later on. You can do better than this for sure

lets see something that took more than 10 minutes.

Dr.Seussicide · 09-04-2009, 06:35 PM

Lol, I don't write love poems alllllll the time! Hahaha :P You'll have to steal his book then! (shouldn't be a problem...lol)

But yes, I do intend to put some more effort into my next piece! And I'm looking forward to yours!

VEGANGELICA · 09-09-2009, 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr.Seussicide

I remember lucidly our thoughts
The days when we were whole and beautiful
Gentle caresses, sweet touches
.
.
.
Never say we never existed dear...
Never say you and I were a myth.
I'd prefer if it were only I who never existed
Please let it be I who never existed...
It was unquestionable...

Hi Dr. Seussicide,
These lines in bold strike me the most with the anguish of this poem. The speaker is wishing s/he didn't exist instead of the relationship having been unreal. This is such a sad state in which a person can be: feeling it would be better not to exist at all instead of face that someone s/he so valued and loved did not reciprocate those feelings and all the experiences that had felt like real joy and love were false.

08-29-2009, 10:17 AM	#1 (permalink)
Dr.Seussicide FakingSuicideForApplause Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: I live in a van down by the river Posts: 1,365	Unquestionable I remember lucidly our thoughts The days when we were whole and beautiful Gentle caresses, sweet touches The visage of beauty I've come to behold I remember well... that we did care What I saw in your eyes These feelings can't speak false Unquestionable it was my love... Unquestionable. I've yet to recall what went wrong... Now you claim, we never existed You claim that those magnificent eyes Spoke deep into my soul... Only to conjure these seeming falsehoods Never say we never existed dear... Never say you and I were a myth. I'd prefer if it were only I who never existed Please let it be I who never existed... It was unquestionable... __________________ I'll stay if I ever could, and pick up your pieces babe, because there's never a perfect day. Don't fret, baby, we're simply growing And my darling, I wouldn't mind to die like this.

09-02-2009, 04:41 PM	#3 (permalink)
Dr.Seussicide FakingSuicideForApplause Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: I live in a van down by the river Posts: 1,365	Oh ummm... it's about this girl I met, that I liked and we developed a relationship... or... so I thought I guess. And now everything between us feels meaningless... though I'm sure it wasn't... __________________ I'll stay if I ever could, and pick up your pieces babe, because there's never a perfect day. Don't fret, baby, we're simply growing And my darling, I wouldn't mind to die like this.

09-02-2009, 08:08 PM	#5 (permalink)
Dr.Seussicide FakingSuicideForApplause Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: I live in a van down by the river Posts: 1,365	Thank you... I'm glad you like it __________________ I'll stay if I ever could, and pick up your pieces babe, because there's never a perfect day. Don't fret, baby, we're simply growing And my darling, I wouldn't mind to die like this.

09-04-2009, 05:25 PM	#6 (permalink)
VeggieLover Music?! Lets boogie! Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: CO Posts: 215	There wasn't anything that stood out particularly, but it didn't feel cliche, so good job. I pretty much knew what it was about without the explanation. I might have to try my hand at some romatic themed poetry now __________________ "Not remotely! Because iocaine comes from Australia, as everyone knows. And Australia is entirely peopled with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you."

09-04-2009, 05:39 PM	#7 (permalink)
Dr.Seussicide FakingSuicideForApplause Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: I live in a van down by the river Posts: 1,365	Lol thanks, I know I didn't have those few lines that you'd read and give you goosebumps as I wanted to, but I wrote it basically in about 10 minutes just to vent some feelings... lol Next time I'll try to give you some chills and that line that you'd want to read over and over again I'm looking forward to your stuff though! __________________ I'll stay if I ever could, and pick up your pieces babe, because there's never a perfect day. Don't fret, baby, we're simply growing And my darling, I wouldn't mind to die like this.

09-04-2009, 06:24 PM	#8 (permalink)
VeggieLover Music?! Lets boogie! Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: CO Posts: 215	lol we'll see, one of my guy writer friends literally writes love poetry all the time! (but he won't let me read it unfortunetlly) I have personally never even attempted one with that particular theme... so it will be interesting on my end of the pencil anyway. and i know you like those lines that ppl want to read over and over again and quote later on. You can do better than this for sure lets see something that took more than 10 minutes. __________________ "Not remotely! Because iocaine comes from Australia, as everyone knows. And Australia is entirely peopled with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you."

09-04-2009, 06:35 PM	#9 (permalink)
Dr.Seussicide FakingSuicideForApplause Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: I live in a van down by the river Posts: 1,365	Lol, I don't write love poems alllllll the time! Hahaha :P You'll have to steal his book then! (shouldn't be a problem...lol) But yes, I do intend to put some more effort into my next piece! And I'm looking forward to yours! __________________ I'll stay if I ever could, and pick up your pieces babe, because there's never a perfect day. Don't fret, baby, we're simply growing And my darling, I wouldn't mind to die like this.