Never Shown Lyrics Before
 

Hey guys. New to all of this, but I'm trying to make a commitment to improvin my lyrics, despite how wierd it makes me feel to just open up the notebook for strangers! No guitars or anything, I'm afraid there going to suck, but please be honest with me. Thanks!

Angels

She isn't happy riding pumpkins to the ball
I gave her front row seats to watch my kingdom fall
Watch it fall, theres fireworks and all
I dissapear just when you think you're getting close
Im so sorry baby, sorry that you fell for a ghost
A ghost
I suck at sober and I'm even worse at love
I ain't good looking but I'm really good at looking for drugs
For drugs

Just this once I want an Angel
Watching over me
Watching Over me

Only Fools fall in love, Theres no angels in this town
Just a spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down
God is not around, and no angels in this town
Only fools fall in love, theres no angels in this town

If you ain't got money then you're probably gonna lose
I Pick my guitar up and them down south nasty blues
The darkest blues
Just the shoes on my feet, and the music in my soul
I'd give it up for 50 bucks and the illusion of control
Never had control
We dug a hole, six feet deep, to cover up my tracks
I'll see you at my funeral, You Bitch, You're ****ing beautiful in black
In black

Just this once I want an Angel
Watching over me
Watching Over me

Only Fools fall in love, Theres no angels in this town
Just a spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down
God is not around, and no angels in this town
Only fools fall in love, theres no angels in this town

I dig it. Makes me think of Cage's verse on MANIAC from the new Kid Cudi album. Good sh!t homey

I think your lyrics are excellent ! Even without music, the rhythm of the lines comes across and I like the way you repeat-but-change some of the phrases: good looking/ good at looking, illusion of control/ never had control.

I like the sombre, hard-life imagery as well, but didn`t care so much for the "spoonful of sugar" line. You know that`s the title of an uplifting Mary Poppins song, right ? If you "suck at sober" why aren`t you knocking back those pills with a shot of whiskey or something?

Congrats on an impressive debut, and for taking that traumatic step of going public.

The rhythm is good, I think.