blastingas10

I've been messing around with this little ditty. I'd like some some Criticism, tips, any kind of feedback. Don't be afraid to be honest. I just really want some opinions.



YouTube - Fudging around

SJPlumb

I think you've got the tone set very well. Maybe after that you could have some sort of drums come in and then build up the textures of other instruments gradually which gives a good effect or keep it quiet then all at once everything comes in. What ever you do it should sound good if this is what you already produced.

blastingas10

Well it's just a little piece, I'm not finished. I know its pretty simple but I've always been a fan of simplicity. The only not so basic part of it is that I'm using the natural harmonic minor scale plus some chord tones.

I'm not really sure where to go with, though. Im still trying to figure that out.

mr dave

Just how much Diablo have you been playing lately?

Only thing missing is an acoustic doubling those slow keyboard chords with lots of reverb and you'd pretty much be nailing the feel of the town themes (and that's not a bad thing). I guess at this point your main decision is if you want to go epic or stay more ambient. If you do stick with the mellow side maybe try some kind of sparse piano type lead, just 1 or 2 notes between the synth swells, I'd slow it down a little as well.

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blastingas10

I did have an acoustic doubling those chords I just accidentally deleted that part and didn't feel like doing It again. But I'm going to because it does sound better.

I'm not familiar with that game so I guess it's just a coincidence.

Plankton

Not diggin the effect on the lead (2nd) guitar. It almost sounds out of tune. Other than that it's a nice piece. Adding the doubled up acoustic would def. make it sound fuller.

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blastingas10

I've been planning on adding the acoustic rhythm when I get the chance. I agree with you about the effect on the lead, it's not good. But this was all recorded on my iPad and there are very good stock effects, once i get the audio interface I'll have more effects to choose from and the quality will be a lot better.

I'm pretty new to writing my own songs. I never have any confidence in the things I write, so I'm kinda surprised that nobody has called it complete crap


Well heres the fuller version with the rhythm guitar.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8EM1q91VBpY

Blarobbarg

The second one sounds better, but it still feels like it's missing something. It could use a bridge that goes into a second part, or just change it up a little at the end to finish it better.

And dave is right, it is very Diablo-esque. Weird that you've never played it.

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blastingas10

It's definitely unfinished. I thought I stated that it was just a song sketch.

So what do y'all really think? How would you rate it for a beginner songwriter?

Salami

Blastingas mate -

I'm actually genuinely impressed, it's nice and simple, it's not overambitious, it still manages to incorporate a few interesting concepts into the song, and I think ultimately has a decent bit of potential.