My metal lyrics
 

heres my lyrics...I'm the chief writer for my band so tell me what you think...

Running out of time
hiding from the crime
that i have commited
but have not admitted

jury is lying
distraughtly dying
sentencing draws near
no place and time for fear

cant escape my fate
judge is full of hate
the jury is biased
no longer respected

time to breakout (breakout)
time to lash out (lashout)

jury is lying
distraughtly dying
sentencing draws near
no place and time for fear

Not too bad, but a little bit short and predictable. The subject matter is slightly bland, but placed in the right song it might be good. Overall, not too bad, but spice it up a little bit. Give it some life!

Actually I didn't think it was very good, you need to not say things like lash out (break out) at the jury because yeah, everyone says that. It didn't rhyme though, the only way I can picture that rhyming is if you sang the lines like broken sentences like... (SOAD?). But I mean hey, this is what most Metal's like now anyway.

mmm... They are ok, again a little unpredictable and I recon that without suffiient musical gaps the rhymes could drill a bit. But hey as long as they mean something to you I recon that will work, as long as you believe in them yourself!

And if all else fails just scream them out so no one understands you! Works for Type-O Negative ;)

uhhh
 

...can i say "Ride the Lightning"? :hphones:

can i say "not good". trite rhyme scheme and no story is told, no picture painted. make it longer and better. thats really all i can say.