My metal lyrics (band, song)

cpm23 · 05-28-2005, 06:09 PM

heres my lyrics...I'm the chief writer for my band so tell me what you think...

Running out of time
hiding from the crime
that i have commited
but have not admitted

jury is lying
distraughtly dying
sentencing draws near
no place and time for fear

cant escape my fate
judge is full of hate
the jury is biased
no longer respected

time to breakout (breakout)
time to lash out (lashout)

jury is lying
distraughtly dying
sentencing draws near
no place and time for fear

phoenixflames · 05-29-2005, 11:04 AM

Not too bad, but a little bit short and predictable. The subject matter is slightly bland, but placed in the right song it might be good. Overall, not too bad, but spice it up a little bit. Give it some life!

Trauma · 05-29-2005, 06:38 PM

Actually I didn't think it was very good, you need to not say things like lash out (break out) at the jury because yeah, everyone says that. It didn't rhyme though, the only way I can picture that rhyming is if you sang the lines like broken sentences like... (SOAD?). But I mean hey, this is what most Metal's like now anyway.

eviljoker7075 · 06-06-2005, 02:52 PM

mmm... They are ok, again a little unpredictable and I recon that without suffiient musical gaps the rhymes could drill a bit. But hey as long as they mean something to you I recon that will work, as long as you believe in them yourself!

And if all else fails just scream them out so no one understands you! Works for Type-O Negative

maidenrocks · 06-07-2005, 04:19 PM

...can i say "Ride the Lightning"?

riseagainstrocks · 06-07-2005, 05:12 PM

can i say "not good". trite rhyme scheme and no story is told, no picture painted. make it longer and better. thats really all i can say.

05-28-2005, 06:09 PM	#1 (permalink)
cpm23 Groupie Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 6	My metal lyrics heres my lyrics...I'm the chief writer for my band so tell me what you think... Running out of time hiding from the crime that i have commited but have not admitted jury is lying distraughtly dying sentencing draws near no place and time for fear cant escape my fate judge is full of hate the jury is biased no longer respected time to breakout (breakout) time to lash out (lashout) jury is lying distraughtly dying sentencing draws near no place and time for fear

05-29-2005, 11:04 AM	#2 (permalink)
phoenixflames Something That You're Not Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Cold And All Alone Posts: 475	Not too bad, but a little bit short and predictable. The subject matter is slightly bland, but placed in the right song it might be good. Overall, not too bad, but spice it up a little bit. Give it some life! __________________ ----------- I'm the lead singer and bass player for the band The Ascent (And Decline) Of Terrion. Yay for me... We're from Ohio. Yay for us... www.theascentofterrion.com Be our friend on MySpace

05-29-2005, 06:38 PM	#3 (permalink)
Trauma snickers Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: detroit Posts: 2,194	Actually I didn't think it was very good, you need to not say things like lash out (break out) at the jury because yeah, everyone says that. It didn't rhyme though, the only way I can picture that rhyming is if you sang the lines like broken sentences like... (SOAD?). But I mean hey, this is what most Metal's like now anyway. __________________ A mi no me importa nada Para mi la vida es un sueño

06-06-2005, 02:52 PM	#4 (permalink)
eviljoker7075 Tune Meister Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: England, North South Eastenshire Posts: 138	mmm... They are ok, again a little unpredictable and I recon that without suffiient musical gaps the rhymes could drill a bit. But hey as long as they mean something to you I recon that will work, as long as you believe in them yourself! And if all else fails just scream them out so no one understands you! Works for Type-O Negative __________________ Daft Punk Fansite Auteur Theory

06-07-2005, 04:19 PM	#5 (permalink)
maidenrocks Groupie Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 2	uhhh ...can i say "Ride the Lightning"?

06-07-2005, 05:12 PM	#6 (permalink)
riseagainstrocks Music Addict Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: DC Posts: 3,320	can i say "not good". trite rhyme scheme and no story is told, no picture painted. make it longer and better. thats really all i can say. __________________ One note timeless, came out of nowhere...