This is a...song!

Kurt-Lee · 10-17-2013, 07:59 AM

Tired Sighs and Cold Feet

Time, ghost-like
Rushes by
The air turns thick
As reason stops asking why

Does it end here?
Dead-end street
Is this what I fear?
Tired sighs and cold feet

Stuck at the end of a well
Bottom-up
Can’t you tell?
It's obvious that I’m stuck

Angst and chaos
Sleep outside my door
If we move, they hear us
Creaking across the floor

Your shadow frowns
But you’re happy
All those monarchs in crowns
That you bought to replace me

Does it end here?
Dead-end street
Is this what I fear?
Tired sighs and cold feet

Does it end here?
Dead-end street?
Is this what I fear?
Tired eyes and cold feet

Air around me is starting to rust
I’m having trouble breathing
You’ve turned me ‘to dust
Just when I started healing

Oh, no
I fear I'm losing control
Oh, no
I fear you’re taking your toll

So it ends here
On a dead-end street
This is what I fear:
Your tired eyes
And my cold feet

RL Clown · 10-18-2013, 04:31 PM

Those lyrics were written in a wonderful manner. I could definitely capture the mood behind the lyrics. However, there was one part that sounded a little bit awkward... "Air around me is starting to rust" (I didn't know that air could rust.) I know that it is not a literal meaning, but it still sounded a little bit awkward.

But overall, this is a very good try.

Kurt-Lee · 10-28-2013, 08:38 AM

All harm to be forgotten
As you're falling deeper
Don't feel downtrodden
Just become meeker

No twigs or planes
To grab onto
No nets or cranes
To catch you

Hold onto yourself
The winds are severe
Forget everything else
And it'll become clear

All harm to be forgotten
As you're sinking deeper
Don't feel downtrodden
As you become meeker

Almost there, almost home
A little further
And you'll finally atone
For your lack of closure

It all slides away
Clear vision
It ends today
No revision

All harm to be forgotten
As you're crawling deeper
Don't feel downtrodden
Just keep getting meeker

All harm to be forgotten
All leaks to cease
Gauze and cotton
To cure the disease
Gauze and cotton
To cure the disease

10-17-2013, 07:59 AM	#1 (permalink)
Kurt-Lee Groupie Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Tromaville Posts: 2	This is a...song! Tired Sighs and Cold Feet Time, ghost-like Rushes by The air turns thick As reason stops asking why Does it end here? Dead-end street Is this what I fear? Tired sighs and cold feet Stuck at the end of a well Bottom-up Can’t you tell? It's obvious that I’m stuck Angst and chaos Sleep outside my door If we move, they hear us Creaking across the floor Your shadow frowns But you’re happy All those monarchs in crowns That you bought to replace me Does it end here? Dead-end street Is this what I fear? Tired sighs and cold feet Does it end here? Dead-end street? Is this what I fear? Tired eyes and cold feet Air around me is starting to rust I’m having trouble breathing You’ve turned me ‘to dust Just when I started healing Oh, no I fear I'm losing control Oh, no I fear you’re taking your toll So it ends here On a dead-end street This is what I fear: Your tired eyes And my cold feet __________________ ...try to erase me from planet...

10-28-2013, 08:38 AM	#3 (permalink)
Kurt-Lee Groupie Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Tromaville Posts: 2	All Harm To Be Forgotten All harm to be forgotten As you're falling deeper Don't feel downtrodden Just become meeker No twigs or planes To grab onto No nets or cranes To catch you Hold onto yourself The winds are severe Forget everything else And it'll become clear All harm to be forgotten As you're sinking deeper Don't feel downtrodden As you become meeker Almost there, almost home A little further And you'll finally atone For your lack of closure It all slides away Clear vision It ends today No revision All harm to be forgotten As you're crawling deeper Don't feel downtrodden Just keep getting meeker All harm to be forgotten All leaks to cease Gauze and cotton To cure the disease Gauze and cotton To cure the disease __________________ ...try to erase me from planet...

10-18-2013, 04:31 PM	#2 (permalink)
RL Clown Music Addict Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 182	Those lyrics were written in a wonderful manner. I could definitely capture the mood behind the lyrics. However, there was one part that sounded a little bit awkward... "Air around me is starting to rust" (I didn't know that air could rust.) I know that it is not a literal meaning, but it still sounded a little bit awkward. But overall, this is a very good try.