Need criticism: first song

jumpyspeedyrule · 06-06-2015, 06:12 PM

Plunging down in a nightmare,
With a blanket over my eyes.
Free falling,
No harness,
Never gonna make it out.

Free falling,
No harness,
Never gonna make it out.

As I fall faster and faster,
Fear wont cloud my mind.
Fear is a blindfold,
With courage we can cut it with a knife.

Free falling,
No harness,
Never gonna make it out.

See the ground before,
Know I wont survive.
Just seconds left,
As I fall,
I realize.

Im free falling,
No harness,
Never gonna make it out.

Next time ill know,
To listen to the blindfold.

This is my first song. Im not quite sure what to make of it. What do you think?

06-06-2015, 06:12 PM	#1 (permalink)
jumpyspeedyrule Groupie Join Date: Jun 2015 Posts: 3	Need criticism: first song Plunging down in a nightmare, With a blanket over my eyes. Free falling, No harness, Never gonna make it out. Free falling, No harness, Never gonna make it out. As I fall faster and faster, Fear wont cloud my mind. Fear is a blindfold, With courage we can cut it with a knife. Free falling, No harness, Never gonna make it out. See the ground before, Know I wont survive. Just seconds left, As I fall, I realize. Im free falling, No harness, Never gonna make it out. Next time ill know, To listen to the blindfold. This is my first song. Im not quite sure what to make of it. What do you think?