Music Banter

Music Banter (https://www.musicbanter.com/)
-   Song Writing, Lyrics and Poetry (https://www.musicbanter.com/song-writing-lyrics-poetry/)
-   -   Rate My Lyrics Please (https://www.musicbanter.com/song-writing-lyrics-poetry/83677-rate-my-lyrics-please.html)

DemonicDax 09-18-2015 08:29 AM

Rate My Lyrics Please [See The Light]
 
Hello, I am a singer/songwriter who is looking for a band to make songs with. I am currently trying to write an album for when I do find a band. This is the first song that I have written for the album. I was wondering if anyone could give me feedback on the lyrics so I can know what I might need to improve.
Thanks.
~Cody

See The Light
Written By: Cody Sparks

Blinded by the shadows
Cast by memories of the past.
These painful thoughts
Keep haunting me.
I doubt that I will last.

This bliss that I keep striving for
In a fight that will not end.
Seems to grow
Distant from me.
My will begins to bend.

I gaze upon the sky of dust
And begin to realize.
This valley full
Of broken trust.
Has opened up my eyes.

Far off in the distance
Light shines down from above.
It cascades across
This dark abyss.
Replacing all my fear with love.

This fog
Has blown away.
The light dances through the dust.

This path
Is now clear.
In this illuminated night
The stars shine oh so bright.
Transforming all wrong into right.

Now I can see
The light that faded long ago.
And I believe
That my soul is far from lost.

I was drowning in a sea of lies.
Not too far gone from my demise.
The storm has cleared.
I've found my way.
And now I see the light.
I see the light.

I know I can't just walk away
Though the battle may seem long.
You can't just
Keep changing me.
Not all I've done is wrong.

Yeah I can see
The light that faded long ago.
And I believe
That it's too late to give up now.

I was drowning in a sea of lies.
Not too far gone from my demise.
The fog has cleared.
I made it out.
And now I can see the light

No matter what I'll carry on.
Fight my way out from dusk till dawn.

The fog has cleared
I can't be stopped
By the shadows of the night.
I can see the light.

Yeah I can see the light.
Yeah I can see the light.
Yeah I can see the light.

sandeep 09-18-2015 11:02 AM

Good one

Key 09-18-2015 11:05 AM

Terrible.

Chula Vista 09-18-2015 11:11 AM

Pretty good. Would work well in a pop/rock or power ballad format.

DemonicDax 09-18-2015 11:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chula Vista (Post 1635642)
Pretty good. Would work well in a pop/rock or power ballad format.

Funny that you would say that, I actually wrote it for the pop/punk/rock genre.

Chula Vista 09-18-2015 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DemonicDax (Post 1635644)
Funny that you would say that, I actually wrote it for the pop/punk/rock genre.

It's too coherent for punk. :p:

DemonicDax 09-18-2015 11:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chula Vista (Post 1635646)
It's too coherent for punk. :p:

Yeah I know, I don't know why I said punk. I have a huge fever right now and my mind is all over the place. I guess I just had punk on my brain xP

Key 09-18-2015 11:54 AM

Lol only listens to good feedback.

DemonicDax 09-18-2015 11:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ki (Post 1635649)
Lol only listens to good feedback.

Oh crap, I didn't notice your comment, I'm rly sorry, my bad >.<
What didn't you like about it?

Chula Vista 09-18-2015 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ki (Post 1635649)
lol only listens to constructive feedback.

fify.


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 11:20 AM.


© 2003-2020 Advameg, Inc.