I made lyrics called 'The Sun'. please give me some comment.
 

I was waiting for the sun when i was hazing at dawn
To see the sun rising up for resplendenting my eyes
And i realised that it is not a real sun
Cause it feels so hot and tastes like metallic

This metallic sun is fron eight thousand meter high
This metallic sun is from eight thousand meter high

I was sitting on the ruins
I could see the bodies and ghosts
They said "please give me some water"
But i couldn't get a water for them

Now i'm flying in the hottest cloud
And changing into dust

This metallic sun is from eight thousand meter high.


Actually i made 4 songs and this is the first song what i made.
When you like this, then i'll post another lyrics.
thank you.

Your English is pretty bad. Why would you write lyrics in a language you haven't mastered?

Because i like english lyrics. why not? Is there any flop in my lyric?

Yeah, there are several mistakes (the word 'resplendenting' doesn't exist for example) and your sentences generally sound pretty clumsy.

You should add "I is barbecue friend" somewhere in the song.

Oh.......then i'll fix it. thank you.