Chew up your food.

[BigHappyJack]

Sort of a silly, old fashioned, Shel Siverstein kind of thing. It amused me to write it.


Chew Up Your Food

A plate of spaghetti killed my Great Uncle Eddie,
He was buried in his new suit.
Aunt Bess was a gobbler till she took up that cobbler,
And went just as blue as the fruit.
So don’t be so rude and chew up your food,
Or there is a price you may pay.
A Smart fella would have and Cousin Tom should have,
A BLT took him away.

Oh,

Chew up your food,
It’s more than good manners, you see.
Chew up your food,
And sometimes you might want to breathe.
Chew up your food.
More helpings can certainly wait.
Slow down on the Chutney
There’s time for your gluttony,
And everyone must masticate.


My old friend Peter, a competitive eater,
Tried taking the hot dog grand prize.
He had them, my friends, till he sneezed at the end
And wieners shot out both his eyes.
Your mother has schooled you but your belly has fooled you,
You shovel it in while it’s hot.
If you eat like a Hoover the Heimlich maneuver,
May be the last hope that you’ve got.

There was the disaster of poor Mrs. Astor,
In a Manhattan penthouse so chic.
She popped in a meatball and went into freefall,
They didn’t find her for a week.
So don’t be a slob as you top off your gob,
Be dainty and proper and peck.
Give each bite a gnashing or your spouse will be cashing,
A fat life insurance check.

OH,

Chew up your food,
It’s what a smart person would do.
Chew up your food,
I guess some are smarter than you.
Chew up your food,
More helpings can certainly wait.
You know that you knew it,
So just freakin’ do it,
everyone must masticate.