some songs i wrote that you probably wont like but...
 

LEFT
: why why why
been left by myself
execpt for one
daddys gone away
insanity
: screammm the pain
whyy why
: was it me
: who
dont call me a prat
im no a ****ing brat
stay away leave me alone all in my room
save me
save me



R.I.P YOU


i wanna rip them all to shreds
like a ****in rag doll
they are all bitches whining and tearing
im gonna wreck my life
i hate them rench them through
they por acid in my wounds
: take me away
sanity
i hid undere my shed
: wishing they were dead
just running from my feelings

please post comments

lost

look see theve gone away

go live by the rive
watch the fish
they are dying
as you watch the days
you realize you have to die
everything dies
school came and went
met some friends of your own
they are not cleancut
yourlifes in the garbage
stare at the ground your lost
lost
lost
lost
forever gone
keep you away
keep him away
go away
ahhhhhhhh
die die die
rest rest
in my wooden box
im as happy as anyone could be

SCREAM

ahhhhrgrgrg
i hate you
get the **** away
leave me alone
go to my room
liten to you scream
but you arnt a person
your my past i just want to ****in
SCREEEEEEEAMM
scream
i wanna die and be alone
kill me please

that is straight up e to the mo.

definitly not try post hardcore or screamo

Death, words are not songs, and if you want peoples opinions, don't be so combative with them.

ok but its definatley not meant to be emo

dual accounts?

^ no thats my friend he typed for me i was accidentley logged on to his at his house when i was viewing this sorry ill have my friend delete that

...Hate to say it....but this is just shit. There are times when writing in sheer teen angst is just is crap.This is one of those times.

EDIT: and "daddys gone away" wtf? you tryin to sound like good charlotte?

Normally most other psychologists would blame the parents but I've been doing extensive research into cases like yours and I've found that it's because you're probably ***, now please drop your pants and bend over. This'll be your first step on the road of healing. Just make sure you put Project H on if you get a burning next time you ****

word

While I don't like using the word I think MIsfits said it best.

Hi Death. I took the time to actually read all of lyrics and have to say that 'Left', 'RIP you' and 'Scream' really didn't read well on their own, 'Lost' was much better. The main difference seemed to be that Lost came across as more of a conversation with another person (well it was a series of directions really) which meant that the reader's a bit more able to get involved with the words. It was more like you were saying that the reader themselves was the character in the lyric, not the singer. The other songs just came across as somebody shouting about themselves in an inarticulate way, so that it was difficult to see what the lyricist was talking about and no incentive was given for the reader/listener to try to understand what the lyricist was saying.

If you want people to be interested in your lyrics then you should first think about WHY they would be interested in the first place and what they would get from it.

Hope that helps.

theres enough angst in there for it to work, its not going to be popular with the masses, but tons of great music isnt. I wouldnt mind hearing it with music behind it. The style i think is what is going to make it stand out. Lyrically it isnt the best, but if assembled with an equally aggressive rythem i think you could be on to something worth listening to.

Agreed. I think what we're saying here is "who cares what the lyrics are like, its the music we care about, not the words". Or to probably misquote those psychology studies, only 10% of what you communicate is in the words that you say, what's more important is how you say it and what you look like while you're saying it - you can use the same priciples in music!

Just yell it out with enough attitude and posture and you'll be away.

words are just as important. I think if he was just screaming things like yellow!!! ahhh salad!!!!, rawr!!!, kangaroos jump high!!! argh!!!!
it wouldnt work. but the words he chose to use, and the structure he used them in pretty much paints a pretty clear picture as abstract as it may be.