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Old 04-21-2016, 10:55 AM   #11 (permalink)
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I think it depends on why I am performing. If its others pushing me into it i mess up if im inspired and for myself im good.
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Old 04-21-2016, 11:44 AM   #12 (permalink)
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At a bass clinic, Jeff Berlin handed me his bass and said "here, play a little". Gulp.





He said I needed to increase the volume of my pickups and strum lighter
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Old 04-24-2016, 01:14 AM   #13 (permalink)
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I guess it would be when there I have the chance to play alongside a veteran musician at my old music school and to have him know every single technique I used, naming it out loud without fail. To have someone narrate your every move and adapt to what you do is kinda surreal, but fun of course
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Old 03-27-2018, 03:45 PM   #14 (permalink)
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My first vocal exam at university. I cried for 2 days before the exam, thinking they would hate me and I shouldn't even continue the education (music teacher). I got a B. Yay. Had a lot more confidence after that.
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Old 03-27-2018, 04:11 PM   #15 (permalink)
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At a bass clinic, Jeff Berlin handed me his bass and said "here, play a little". Gulp.
Consider yourself lucky, I'd ****ing love to meet the jewish 'cortisst' himself.
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Old 03-27-2018, 04:37 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Probably my senior year of high school, but only for the first half (I was in a military boarding school with higher standards than public school) but halfway through I went crazy, started smoking cigarettes as a way of life (a military school thing) and Christmas treed all my final exams. So it was two extremes of me caring way too much and then far too little.
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Old 03-30-2018, 03:16 PM   #17 (permalink)
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The first one I owned was like a family heirloom that nobody wanted. When I had bought my Saz new the second time I owned one direct from Turkey with the whistle flute (and bells and all), a lady approached me in the street while I had it slinged over my shoulder and asked me to play. I said I don't do that kind of thing. Later, I got really angry because I had to go see the doctor while I was there and I was unhappy. I was afraid I could not be a hopeless Romantic.

Some time later, when a family member came to my house, I was still a novice but maybe had a year of playing and he picked it up and played what seemed like the most skillful tune I ever heard. I got jealous that I couldn't live up to this because I wasn't raised in the same culture.

I think my Uncle bought me another one, and then when his in-laws asked me to play, I got embarrassed and smashed it because that's how I feel being intimidated. I must have owned four to this day, but it's hard for me to do requests unless you listen right away.

When I went to college, a guy I knew who was into music offered to find a gig for me because he played clubs. That was the scariest it felt but I knew I'd never go that far because I didn't believe in myself - but nobody did at that time from what I gathered. After, I tried to play for some friends and they didn't really listen so I felt out of touch with my generation.

A year after that I started to play online to find listeners because there are a lot of second generation Turks like me, and that was a real barrier that I worked through. Now, I just play anyway without overvaluing it because feeling intimidated about your art means you just have to bring it to it's conclusion. Kind of feel the fear, and do it anyway. After I did that, I smashed it to pieces because of all of that and the emotion I felt associated with it. Sometimes, I would break a string or my hand slipped and I punched it in the sound hole, but I totally destroyed it because of my wild side. For a long time I thought that was all that it's good for and that's a lot easier than trying to replicate that time you met your hero and missed out.

Probably in recent times, I just felt intimidated to pick one up again in case I crush them, but I did it and I bought one new for myself. I asked my Bro's girlfriend for advice because he is in the music business, I wanted to order to a store but I just ordered with DPD to my home. You always have to live up to your goals and heroes in the end and that's what separates us from the animals.

Spoiler for videos of me playing:



Last edited by crukster; 04-06-2018 at 12:50 PM. Reason: Put videos in Spoiler Tags on the videos, rewrote some parts of it to remember the history
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Old 03-30-2018, 05:29 PM   #18 (permalink)
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At a bass clinic, Jeff Berlin handed me his bass and said "here, play a little". Gulp.
Holy crap!!!!! Berlin is a ****ing monster!!! Saw him with Holdsworth many years ago in Boston. My jaw bled for a week.

Love that Bruford album. Wish those 4 guys would have stayed together a lot longer. They were magic.
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Old 03-30-2018, 11:44 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Holy crap!!!!! Berlin is a ****ing monster!!! Saw him with Holdsworth many years ago in Boston. My jaw bled for a week.

Love that Bruford album. Wish those 4 guys would have stayed together a lot longer. They were magic.
Could be Gingivitis, you should floss and use mouthwash more.
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Old 03-31-2018, 12:03 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Lol ily neo
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