All right then, Mister Burns has been sent packing
(What? You can't do this to me! Don't you know who I am? I'm Charles Montgomery ---) Yeah, don't know what I was thinking, letting him loose in here. Anyway things should be getting back a little to normal now, but first, an announcement.
Everyone destroy your journals and give up, because the journal to end all journals began this week, and nobody can compete with it. No, I'm not talking about my soon-to-be-released “Seventeen thousand reasons why I love Marillion and why you're an idiot if you don't” --- this is even better, and it's all thanks to a man who seldom writes anything here, but he's been hiding his light under a bushel and now we can all see what an incredible talent he has, both for writing and for comedy. Yes, people, the hilariously spot-on
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...tasy-epic.html opened its doors this week, and Music Banter will never be the same again. Read more about it below, but for now, take a bow,
YorkeDaddy, Journal Scribe Extraordinaire!
And so, to the update: we open with the return of
Antonio, who is talking about Fetty Wap (no it's not a contagious disease, so far as I know!) in
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...ng-ground.html
Keeping the tradition of the late departed Urban alive,
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...lks-about.html and goes hip-deep into the Billboard Hot 100! Will he survive? Will it suck him under? Will he suck it off? Will he, it or both just suck? And how did he get past security, anyway? Don't they have his photo, fingerprints and DNA on file? Head his way to find out. He's not finished there though, as you can also
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...-oblivion.html where he's still pitching unlikely battles between superheroes. Captain America and Green ... Canary ... something, I don't know. You know what he's like...
Black Francis is remembering Blood Omen: Legacy of Kain in
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...ms-nes-ps.html
More of
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...es-patrol.html where it's damn Texas hot and his dog is a bone(a) fide hero!
Another of the
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...stronauts.html from
Freebase Dali; this one's called “Lapse”
while
innerspaceboy is checking out “Finnegan's Wake” in
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...nnerspace.html and also performing a Lazarus-like resurrection on his Zen X-fi! Yay!
In the wake of the awesome “Star Wars Video Game Month”,
Ki is checking out some Steam releases in
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...is-arcade.html, like
Elder Scrolls IV, Fallout 3 and
Braid, to name but three. Also, there's a new mod on the prowl and he's after your expletives. Just fu
cking warning yaz...
Machine is doing some reviews in a sort of “Love or Hate?” style in
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...-its-dumb.html and all I can say is, well, his view of D'Angelo and mine differ widely. He also reviews Ki's favourites, Pg.Lost.
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...rgy-story.html has hits chapter sixteen, and there's also a side story to keep you entertained
while we welcome back after what seems years the one and only
Pedestrian (though she's now changed her name to
Paedantic Bastard, which I think used to be her usertitle) and in
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...sswalking.html she's telling us all about the “joys” (heavy on the sarcasm there!) of camping! It's been way too long!
And returning to
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...crap-heap.html,
Pet_Sounds has another of his favourite Beatles tunes, in “Wait”.
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...ploration.html continues with electronica (Baths), Death Metal (Asphyx) and (shudder) Grindcore (Wormrot)
Just the one entry from me this week, and it's in
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...d-journal.html where the whole journal is being taken over again by a discography, this time Marillion. We're kicking off with
Fugazi, so if prog rock is your thing, check us out. If not, be warned: this will go on for some time!
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...y-history.html reaches no. 17 for 1985 with Iron Angel (who?)
And that brings us to THE Journal, as mentioned above.
YorkeDaddy has struck gold, and in
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...tasy-epic.html he's taking us all on a journey to a place of wonder, adventure and ... wonder (
Red Dwarf in-joke; if you didn't get it, suck it).
Hear all about why JWB can ony use lowercase keys!
See the mighty Janszoon refuse to help the quest!
Watch the sparks fly between Batty and Frownland! And if you act now, you can collect your free tickets to
A Family Sleeping Peacefully Except For The Father Who Snores Occasionally. It's the new stage sensation!
Seriously: you need to check this out. It will become the Journal of the Year, nay the Decade. Be in on the ground floor, so that in years to come you can look back and proudly tell your grandchildren, yes, I was there!
Although there have been some very good posts this week (I considered submissions from Ki, Innerspaceboy, Batty and Fiddler) there really is no other possible winner. Here then, is the opening chapter to YD's fantasy epic, long may it run. For anyone who has not yet read it, this is what you're in danger of missing....
Quote:
Originally Posted by YorkeDaddy
Chapter One: Assembly
It's a cold, stormy night. The Ye Olde Pub of Chula was packed as always with patrons flooding in from all around for a pint and fun times...
Christophe: ...and that's why A Man Doing Calisthenics Whilst Wearing a Toga That's a Size or Two Too Small is the greatest stage performance of all-time.
Droltab: Do you even hear yourself sometimes?
Christophe: Look, we've had this discussion before. Let's just agree to disagree, alright?
Droltab: I've been trying to see things your way. I even attended a production of A Man With No Arms Playing a Glockenspiel With His Feet the other night. I just don't see what's so special about any of it. I'd much rather go see Three Large-Breasted Women Playing Hopscotch.
Christophe: That show is just too standard for me. We need to be pushing boundaries, not rolling with the status quo. Take my most recent directing venture: A Family Sleeping Peacefully Except For the Father Who Snores Occasionally. Now that's real entertainment!
Droltab: I hate everything you stand for.
Just then, the doors of the pub flew wide open. A cloaked man stood in the doorway menacingly, except it was raining so hard that he honestly looked quite silly. The entire pub quieted to a faint whisper as the man walked inside.
?????: I have an important announcement to make. King Hatemonchan of Music Banterus...has been slain in the heat of battle.
A collective gasp sounded throughout the pub. Hushed conversation ensued throughout the building as no one knew how to take the news.
Droltab: And just who the hell are you? Where did you get this information?
The man removed his cloak, revealing a powerful, chiseled face and flowing hair that somehow managed to stay flowing despite there being no wind inside this building.
Ki: I go by the name of Ki. I am of high nobility and very, very handsome. I am here for Lord Christophe von Frowninghymen VII.
Christophe: That is I. What is it you need me for?
Ki: That is to remain top secret. You must come with me to the Castle of Music Banterus.
--------------------------------
Meanwhile, just outside the halls of the Castle of Music Banterus, a book club meeting is underway...
Yorkius: Hello everybody, nice to see you here today. I'm happy to announce that we have a new member! Give a warm welcome to Innerboy Space!
Gloofe: It's very nice to meet you. What kind of books are you into?
Innerboy: Oh, you know, the regulars. Classical Contemporary 14th Decade Nigerian Snakebound Metaphysical Nonfiction with a hint of Stephen King. I have a collection of over 4,625,094,693 books of this genre, would you like some recommendations?
Yorkius: Well uh, let's stick with what we've all read for this meeting. So what did everyone think of Metal Machine Sentences? How about you, Lee Harvey Oswald?
Lee: something something beef something something my-shift-key-is-always-broken something
Yorkius: Fascinating. You really have a way with words
Gloofe: Well Metal Machine Sentences was the fortieth book I read yesterday, and just so you know all were different genres, but also just so you know I thought it was totally rad.
Yorkius: Interesting. I really didn't like Metal Machine Sentences, and I find it strange that our opinions differed so much on last week's read, To Hustle a Moth, but oh well.
Just then, a large cloud of smoke appeared a few feet away from the club members. When the smoke cleared there stood a short man in long, gray robes. He held a large staff and a "I <3 Marillion" button on his left breast. In a booming voice he pronounced:
?????: I come bearing dramatic news that you all really need to hear!
Yorkius: Stop being so mysterious, Trolldalf. I think everyone here knows you.
Trolldalf: Ah, right. Anyway, King Hatemonchan is dead!
Yorkius: What?! That's absurd! How could that happen?
Trolldalf: He was battling the evil army, Le Spambots of Doom, and he was unfortunately overcome by their never-ending forces. He fought until his last breath.
Gloofe: So what do we do now?
Trolldalf: That's why I've come to you and Yorkius. We must convene within the castle, posthaste!
--------------------------------
To be continued..............
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Rumours of her demise have thankfully been very much exaggerated it would seem! The lovely Pedestrian, complete with new name, is back to regale us with tales of her camping trip and we hope she will be a regular contributor here again.
And so ends another ... what's this note? Looks very legal. Hmm. From Mister Burns's lawyers, eh? Excuse me, I have to go deal with this.
Till next week,
Toodles!