Physical discipline against children .. okay or not?

Paedantic Basterd · 02-02-2011, 07:11 PM

I'd like to discuss the merits of alternative methods of discipline, and how effective they have proven to be. As far as I can imagine, grounding-type disciplines are the only alternative, and I don't see those as being particularly effective. I would be entirely open to alternative means of punishment if I could be convinced that they are A) as effective and B) can distinguish levels of bad behaviour as effectively as physical punishment.

Guybrush · 02-02-2011, 07:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pedestrian

I'd like to discuss the merits of alternative methods of discipline, and how effective they have proven to be. As far as I can imagine, grounding-type disciplines are the only alternative, and I don't see those as being particularly effective. I would be entirely open to alternative means of punishment if I could be convinced that they are A) as effective and B) can distinguish levels of bad behaviour as effectively as physical punishment.

It's past 3 AM so I'm sneaking to bed, but I might come back to this discussion tomorrow if I'm not too tired of it. Until then, you could always just check out some of this :

professional child-rearing without slaps

quick edit : and don't forget that for altering long-term behaviour, positive reinforcement (rewarding the behaviour you want) is also an alternative to punishment.

CanwllCorfe · 02-02-2011, 07:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by djchameleon

so if they do the wrong thing what will you do?

Punish them. Punishment doesn't have to always be physical. There's a myriad of things that could be done. It'd depend on what they did exactly. Then I'd give them an incentive so that they wouldn't do what they did wrong again, instead of just punishing them repeatedly.

djchameleon · 02-02-2011, 08:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CanwllCorfe

Punish them. Punishment doesn't have to always be physical. There's a myriad of things that could be done. It'd depend on what they did exactly. Then I'd give them an incentive so that they wouldn't do what they did wrong again, instead of just punishing them repeatedly.

what are these alternative options that you guys keep referring to? I just want to know a few examples. I mean I have some in mind but what exactly would you do?

CanwllCorfe · 02-02-2011, 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by djchameleon

what are these alternative options that you guys keep referring to? I just want to know a few examples. I mean I have some in mind but what exactly would you do?

Well it'd depend on what they did of course. Like if they were being loud in a public place, I would tell them why they shouldn't be. If they stop, then faaaantastic. I'd let them get a snack or something. But if that doesn't teach them, then they'd have to go to bed earlier. Or something like that. I think the biggest thing about situations like these is control. It seems like it always ends up in a screaming match, with everyone pissed off. If you remain calm, and explain that what happens to them is their decision, I think it'd be beneficial.

I should reiterate that I'm not against physical discipline. I just think it's ineffective. Although in situations where the child didn't really do anything all that bad, like ate a cookie before dinner or something, then I think it's wrong. Or at least unnecessary.

RVCA · 02-02-2011, 10:13 PM

I also think physical discipline, depending on the child, can result in fear or disdain for the parent (usually father?) who inflicted the physical discipline.

djchameleon · 02-02-2011, 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CanwllCorfe

Well it'd depend on what they did of course. Like if they were being loud in a public place, I would tell them why they shouldn't be. If they stop, then faaaantastic. I'd let them get a snack or something. But if that doesn't teach them, then they'd have to go to bed earlier. Or something like that. I think the biggest thing about situations like these is control. It seems like it always ends up in a screaming match, with everyone pissed off. If you remain calm, and explain that what happens to them is their decision, I think it'd be beneficial.

I should reiterate that I'm not against physical discipline. I just think it's ineffective. Although in situations where the child didn't really do anything all that bad, like ate a cookie before dinner or something, then I think it's wrong. Or at least unnecessary.

lol good luck with that, your kid is going to keep pushing you and pushing you while at a grocery store or something and end up crying/screaming and throwing a tantrum.

CanwllCorfe · 02-02-2011, 10:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by djchameleon

lol good luck with that, your kid is going to keep pushing you and pushing you while at a grocery store or something and end up crying/screaming and throwing a tantrum.

As if every kid is the same? There's no bad kids, only bad parents. You make it sound as if every kid throws tantrums at grocery stores. They're loud, you tell them to be quiet. Yes, there are defiant children who just to spite you will be loud. If they are, then they will be punished. But to think EVERY kid is a spiteful brat, is more than a little thickheaded and ignorant.

Quote:

Originally Posted by RVCA

I also think physical discipline, depending on the child, can result in fear or disdain for the parent (usually father?) who inflicted the physical discipline.

Indeed. I was terrified of my dad growing up. He was never physical. He was so big, he could just look at you and you'd be put in your place.

djchameleon · 02-02-2011, 11:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CanwllCorfe

As if every kid is the same? There's no bad kids, only bad parents. You make it sound as if every kid throws tantrums at grocery stores. They're loud, you tell them to be quiet. Yes, there are defiant children who just to spite you will be loud. If they are, then they will be punished. But to think EVERY kid is a spiteful brat, is more than a little thickheaded and ignorant.
.

I know not all kids are the same. Most of them go through a phase called the terrible twos in which they throw tantrums regardless of how great a parent you think you are.

CanwllCorfe · 02-02-2011, 11:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by djchameleon

I know not all kids are the same. Most of them go through a phase called the terrible twos in which they throw tantrums regardless of how great a parent you think you are.

Ah yes. My mother told me about that. She also said that us boys were easier to raise than my sister, which seems like a common idea. I guess boys are just easier than girls? I guess I should hope for a boy

View Poll Results: Physical punishment aganist children. Acceptable or Unacceptable?
Acceptable	50	56.82%
Unacceptable	38	43.18%
Voters: 88. You may not vote on this poll

02-02-2011, 07:11 PM	#511 (permalink)
Paedantic Basterd Music Addict Join Date: Sep 2010 Posts: 5,184	I'd like to discuss the merits of alternative methods of discipline, and how effective they have proven to be. As far as I can imagine, grounding-type disciplines are the only alternative, and I don't see those as being particularly effective. I would be entirely open to alternative means of punishment if I could be convinced that they are A) as effective and B) can distinguish levels of bad behaviour as effectively as physical punishment.

02-02-2011, 10:13 PM	#516 (permalink)
RVCA （￣ー￣） Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 3,270	I also think physical discipline, depending on the child, can result in fear or disdain for the parent (usually father?) who inflicted the physical discipline.