Man banned from park after trying to have sex with a tree...

Serge_Gee · 01-20-2010, 09:32 AM

I had to post this, pretty darned funny! What next???

A man has been banned from a public park - after he allegedly tried to have sex with a tree.

William Shaw, 21, has been ordered by a court not to enter Central Park in Airdrie after claims he attempted to bonk the plant. It is alleged he dropped his trousers and underpants and exposed himself while in the visitor attraction in September last year. It is claimed he then tried to have simulated sex with the tree while his trousers were around his ankles. Shaw, of Airdrie, yesterday pleaded not guilty to an act of public indecency at the town's sheriff court.

Sheriff Frank Pieri released Shaw on bail - on the condition that he stays away from Central Park. Last night Shaw was unavailable to discuss the allegations at his flat. A neighbour said: "I have seen him about and he seems a quiet lad."

Shaw is due to stand trial next month. He was also accused of committing the offence while on bail for another matter from November 2007. It is not the first bizarre sex charge to hit the headlines in Scotland. In 2007 Steven Marshall, 19, admitted simulating sex with the pavement in Galashiels, Selkirkshire.In the same year Robert Stewart, 53, was caught by two cleaners having sex with a bicycle in his hostel room in Ayr.

Shake · 01-20-2010, 10:49 AM

Watch out for splinters!

jackhammer · 01-20-2010, 11:46 AM

Got wood?

Shake · 01-20-2010, 11:46 AM

"Daddy, where do baby trees come from?"

Mojo · 01-20-2010, 11:48 AM

My word. I dont even know what to say about this.

right-track · 01-20-2010, 12:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mojopinuk

My word. I dont even know what to say about this.

Don't sweat it man...just don't do it again mmmkay?

Urban Hat€monger ? · 01-20-2010, 12:04 PM

Can I do anything without you fuckers posting about it?

Mojo · 01-20-2010, 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by right-track

Don't sweat it man...just don't do it again mmmkay?

Im sorry man. I feel ashamed really. Its just, you didnt see this tree...

Dr.Seussicide · 01-20-2010, 12:06 PM

Those leaves... Those fucking leaves!

OMG!

Fast Frankie · 01-20-2010, 12:11 PM

William Shaw... undoubtedly a direct relation to Charles Shaw

01-20-2010, 09:32 AM	#1 (permalink)
Serge_Gee Groupie Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 19	Man banned from park after trying to have sex with a tree... I had to post this, pretty darned funny! What next??? A man has been banned from a public park - after he allegedly tried to have sex with a tree. William Shaw, 21, has been ordered by a court not to enter Central Park in Airdrie after claims he attempted to bonk the plant. It is alleged he dropped his trousers and underpants and exposed himself while in the visitor attraction in September last year. It is claimed he then tried to have simulated sex with the tree while his trousers were around his ankles. Shaw, of Airdrie, yesterday pleaded not guilty to an act of public indecency at the town's sheriff court. Sheriff Frank Pieri released Shaw on bail - on the condition that he stays away from Central Park. Last night Shaw was unavailable to discuss the allegations at his flat. A neighbour said: "I have seen him about and he seems a quiet lad." Shaw is due to stand trial next month. He was also accused of committing the offence while on bail for another matter from November 2007. It is not the first bizarre sex charge to hit the headlines in Scotland. In 2007 Steven Marshall, 19, admitted simulating sex with the pavement in Galashiels, Selkirkshire.In the same year Robert Stewart, 53, was caught by two cleaners having sex with a bicycle in his hostel room in Ayr.

01-20-2010, 10:49 AM	#2 (permalink)
Shake blerg Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: The Great White North Posts: 137	Watch out for splinters! __________________ Bloodtrocuted

01-20-2010, 11:46 AM	#3 (permalink)
jackhammer Ba and Be. Join Date: May 2007 Location: This Is England Posts: 17,331	Got wood? __________________ It be my music and film collection. “A cynic by experience, a romantic by inclination and now a hero by necessity.”

01-20-2010, 11:46 AM	#4 (permalink)
Shake blerg Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: The Great White North Posts: 137	"Daddy, where do baby trees come from?" __________________ Bloodtrocuted

01-20-2010, 11:48 AM	#5 (permalink)
Mojo Melancholia Eternally Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: England Posts: 5,018	My word. I dont even know what to say about this. __________________ Last.FM \| Echoes and Dust

01-20-2010, 12:04 PM	#7 (permalink)
Urban Hat€monger ? The Sexual Intellectual Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Somewhere cooler than you Posts: 18,605	Can I do anything without you fuckers posting about it? __________________ Urb's RYM Stuff Most people sell their soul to the devil, but the devil sells his soul to Nick Cave.

01-20-2010, 12:06 PM	#9 (permalink)
Dr.Seussicide FakingSuicideForApplause Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: I live in a van down by the river Posts: 1,365	Those leaves... Those fucking leaves! OMG! __________________ I'll stay if I ever could, and pick up your pieces babe, because there's never a perfect day. Don't fret, baby, we're simply growing And my darling, I wouldn't mind to die like this.

01-20-2010, 12:11 PM	#10 (permalink)
Fast Frankie Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: SF CA Posts: 49	William Shaw... undoubtedly a direct relation to Charles Shaw __________________ Smile, don't take it too seriously!