Would You Enter A Serious Relationship With An Amputee?

TheCunningStunt · 10-14-2010, 11:05 PM

Option number 1 sounds like you're just gonna come out with "Alright love, fancy a shag?"
I think there's a middle ground between option number 1 and option number 2.
Make your intentions be known to them, subtly let them know that you find them attractive and you want to build up something romantic, without heading into a relationship with someone you barely know.

Becoming a friend with someone, developing feelings and then letting them know how you feel is again a 50/50 thing. They might feel the same way, their feelings might have developed in the same way yours have.... Or they just see you as a friend and their feelings haven't really changed.

I've done the third option, delved into something with someone I barely knew - she turned out to be a mentalist. Sat on my chair in my room for 20 minutes, ignoring me, rang her friend, had a conversation - all because I text someone while I was with her.

I think the best option is something between option 1 and 2.
Going out together, flirting, having a few drinks, being friendly without being TOO friendly. But every single case is unique, sometimes you don't have an option.
Sometimes you'll just enter into an innocent friendship, and somehow develop feelings and just hope they feel the same way.

I want to find someone new, getting a bit sick of the bint I'm currently seeing.
I'm rubbish at the whole pulling strangers thing, I'm useless at striking up conversation with complete strangers.

Freebase Dali · 10-14-2010, 11:22 PM

You're still forgetting that most people in a dating stage are putting on their best face until they're in the relationship and sufficiently comfortable. If romance is the initial and main priority, then that's going to be a factor.. for both involved... just on different levels depending on what each person is in it for.

The idea behind what I was saying is instead of going out specifically to find a new relationship or even expecting one in new interactions is going to undermine things if you're out for honesty. While it would be kind of hard to completely forget that you want to be romantically involved with someone, letting natural friendship become the focus is going to be a more informative relationship guide than simply being led around by your dick or vag.

Let relationships happen because of what you see in someone, rather than being the result of how hot they get you, is all I'm saying. And to append, give yourself the opportunity for someone to prove your instincts right or wrong before you're emotionally invested. However you do that is fine... But to say, as you basically said, that being in a friendship before a relationship is a no-no... that's far off the mark my friend.

I wish Hollywood wouldn't promote that kind of thing, because I'm fairly sure that a majority of people only feel that way because of them.

TheCunningStunt · 10-14-2010, 11:38 PM

Well, if you're not looking for something - relationship wise, then you'll enter into innocent casual friendships with people.
If things develop on both sides then great, you both know enough about each other to be comfortable in a relationship.

I think whatever you do is 50/50, trying to pull a complete stranger is 50/50.
Once your feelings with a friend have developed, it's 50/50 whether there's have too.
I guess it all comes down to good luck.

There was a group on Facebook, I wish all relationships were like the ones in PS I love You and The Notebook.

People are unfathomable idiots, that's probably why I stopped using Facebook.

Freebase Dali · 10-14-2010, 11:50 PM

I don't think it comes down to luck as much as it comes down to insightful operation. It's never 50/50 when you are actually in the position to have an impact on your own odds, and do so.

The picture I'm trying to paint is one of being aware of what you're getting yourself into. Whether you use that to your advantage or not is what mostly determines how things end up. Not everything is left to chance.

TheCunningStunt · 10-14-2010, 11:55 PM

Well, yeah. You get as much out of it as you put into it, you'll vastly improve your chances if you put a lot into it.

Maybe it boils down to attraction?
There's a lot of friends out there who are pretty damn close, but they don't have that romantic spark so they remain friends.
It's kind of shallow, but I think it plays a massive part.
If you're close, and you both find each other extremely attractive - it'll happen.
I think the whole "I see you as a brother" thing is just a nice way of saying "yeah, you're a good friend but I don't find you attractive."

Paedantic Basterd · 10-14-2010, 11:57 PM

"Attraction" is a much broader word than simply physical appeal.

TheCunningStunt · 10-15-2010, 12:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pedestrian

"Attraction" is a much broader word than simply physical appeal.

I agree, I only find someone absolutely gorgeous if they're gorgeous inside and out.

I think physical attraction plays a massive part, I have a friend at the moment who likes me, I like her conversation and company but I don't find her attractive, so it's not gonna happen.

Quite shallow on my part, but if there's no spark there then there's no spark.

90'sMusicKid · 10-15-2010, 12:04 AM

As long as her vagina hasn't been amputated..

emostreetguitar562268 · 10-15-2010, 02:31 PM

probly, as long as they had a good personality. but if theyre one of those bitchy 'oh poor me' amputees, probly not. i would be able to understand the whining to an extent, but if theyre complaining ever 5 seconds, then no.

Connair · 10-19-2010, 11:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by emostreetguitar562268

probly, as long as they had a good personality. but if theyre one of those bitchy 'oh poor me' amputees, probly not. i would be able to understand the whining to an extent, but if theyre complaining ever 5 seconds, then no.

Ha. I'm pretty sure they realize complaining will get them no where.

View Poll Results: Well would you?
Yes	36	64.29%
No	9	16.07%
I'm Stumped	11	19.64%
Voters: 56. You may not vote on this poll

10-14-2010, 11:05 PM	#1 (permalink)
TheCunningStunt love will tear you apart Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Manchester, UK. Posts: 5,107	Option number 1 sounds like you're just gonna come out with "Alright love, fancy a shag?" I think there's a middle ground between option number 1 and option number 2. Make your intentions be known to them, subtly let them know that you find them attractive and you want to build up something romantic, without heading into a relationship with someone you barely know. Becoming a friend with someone, developing feelings and then letting them know how you feel is again a 50/50 thing. They might feel the same way, their feelings might have developed in the same way yours have.... Or they just see you as a friend and their feelings haven't really changed. I've done the third option, delved into something with someone I barely knew - she turned out to be a mentalist. Sat on my chair in my room for 20 minutes, ignoring me, rang her friend, had a conversation - all because I text someone while I was with her. I think the best option is something between option 1 and 2. Going out together, flirting, having a few drinks, being friendly without being TOO friendly. But every single case is unique, sometimes you don't have an option. Sometimes you'll just enter into an innocent friendship, and somehow develop feelings and just hope they feel the same way. I want to find someone new, getting a bit sick of the bint I'm currently seeing. I'm rubbish at the whole pulling strangers thing, I'm useless at striking up conversation with complete strangers. __________________ I don't feel and I feel great. Last FM

10-14-2010, 11:38 PM	#3 (permalink)
TheCunningStunt love will tear you apart Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Manchester, UK. Posts: 5,107	Well, if you're not looking for something - relationship wise, then you'll enter into innocent casual friendships with people. If things develop on both sides then great, you both know enough about each other to be comfortable in a relationship. I think whatever you do is 50/50, trying to pull a complete stranger is 50/50. Once your feelings with a friend have developed, it's 50/50 whether there's have too. I guess it all comes down to good luck. There was a group on Facebook, I wish all relationships were like the ones in PS I love You and The Notebook. People are unfathomable idiots, that's probably why I stopped using Facebook. __________________ I don't feel and I feel great. Last FM

10-14-2010, 11:55 PM	#5 (permalink)
TheCunningStunt love will tear you apart Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Manchester, UK. Posts: 5,107	Well, yeah. You get as much out of it as you put into it, you'll vastly improve your chances if you put a lot into it. Maybe it boils down to attraction? There's a lot of friends out there who are pretty damn close, but they don't have that romantic spark so they remain friends. It's kind of shallow, but I think it plays a massive part. If you're close, and you both find each other extremely attractive - it'll happen. I think the whole "I see you as a brother" thing is just a nice way of saying "yeah, you're a good friend but I don't find you attractive." __________________ I don't feel and I feel great. Last FM

10-15-2010, 12:04 AM	#8 (permalink)
90'sMusicKid That weird kid Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Albuquerque, NM Posts: 214	As long as her vagina hasn't been amputated.. __________________ I'm waiting for the come down to put me in my place i'm giving you the low down so you don't make my mistakes

10-14-2010, 11:22 PM	#2 (permalink)
Freebase Dali Partying on the inside Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 5,584	You're still forgetting that most people in a dating stage are putting on their best face until they're in the relationship and sufficiently comfortable. If romance is the initial and main priority, then that's going to be a factor.. for both involved... just on different levels depending on what each person is in it for. The idea behind what I was saying is instead of going out specifically to find a new relationship or even expecting one in new interactions is going to undermine things if you're out for honesty. While it would be kind of hard to completely forget that you want to be romantically involved with someone, letting natural friendship become the focus is going to be a more informative relationship guide than simply being led around by your dick or vag. Let relationships happen because of what you see in someone, rather than being the result of how hot they get you, is all I'm saying. And to append, give yourself the opportunity for someone to prove your instincts right or wrong before you're emotionally invested. However you do that is fine... But to say, as you basically said, that being in a friendship before a relationship is a no-no... that's far off the mark my friend. I wish Hollywood wouldn't promote that kind of thing, because I'm fairly sure that a majority of people only feel that way because of them.

10-14-2010, 11:50 PM	#4 (permalink)
Freebase Dali Partying on the inside Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 5,584	I don't think it comes down to luck as much as it comes down to insightful operation. It's never 50/50 when you are actually in the position to have an impact on your own odds, and do so. The picture I'm trying to paint is one of being aware of what you're getting yourself into. Whether you use that to your advantage or not is what mostly determines how things end up. Not everything is left to chance.

10-14-2010, 11:57 PM	#6 (permalink)
Paedantic Basterd Music Addict Join Date: Sep 2010 Posts: 5,184	"Attraction" is a much broader word than simply physical appeal.