or you get to have your mom stand over you a few months after you dad ditches you just after turning 5 and screaming 'YOU WANNA KNOW WHY YOUR DAD LEFT!??!?! YOU WANNA KNOW!??!?!! HE LEFT BECAUSE YOUR BAD KIDS!!! THAT'S WHY HE LEFT!!!' then you get to watch her grab her purse and walk out.

happy holidays mofos :finger:

mr dave, perhaps some issues you need to work out ? :yikes:

Man. I'm feeling so **** right now. Too damned low to make music even. This happens everytime I try to exorcise my creative ambitions. Nothing ever translates from ideas to life effectively. Just wanna die right now (I'm not going to kill myself, I'm just saying being hit by a bus would be a happy accident)

I know I'll be fine in a couple of weeks when I start thinking of ideas again but I know I'll just set myself up for another dissapointment. I hate this cycle of drive and motivation to
indifference and total crushed spirit.

Heaven
Purgatory
Hell
The blues

Here mate :beer:



Any major dude with half a heart surely will tell you my friend
Any minor world that breaks apart falls together again
When the demon is at your door
In the morning it won't be there no more
Any major dude will tell you

Ah, and an early Steely Dan tune always helps :).

Aw thanks Tore, that cheered me up! :)

:hugs:

I totally know what you're going through. What keeps me from topping myself (apart from the fact I don't have the guts or disrespect to do it), is being able to come on here and have people to relate and console with. Certain people on here have been extra lovely to me in my times of darkness, which I'm not out of yet. Feeling like you have no control in the world is the hardest thing to deal with. I actually forget to breathe sometimes, I hold my breath waiting for things to change and they don't.

Depressions a fucking horrible thing. Been depressed for ten years plus now. Anti depressants ain't worked for me (I believe you have to make them work. Only did that for the first month before falling back into old habits). Got my first appointment with a councillor tomorrow. Hopefully they put me on CBT, can't see anything else getting me past my suicidal thoughts.

What are you guys depressed about?

For sure. They have to be a supplement. Waking up earlier, going to bed earlier, getting out more, getting things done, being more physical. All the things you DONT want to go and see. Also sunlight has always really helped me. A walk r something can do wonders for your mood.

Also I think people generally expect to feel better in a few weeks/months. Its really a process that takes years though, and a complete change of lifestyle.