Off Colour Jokes and Why You're a Plebe for Using them
 

So let me start off by saying, yes, I'm a feminist. No, I don't hate men (for the most part) and yes, I have a sense of humour.

I actually have the best sense of humour of anyone I know, I rarely take myself seriously, however I don't find humour that relies on kicking people that are already down, because I'm not a plebe lacking in empathy.

Rape jokes are a hot subject nowadays, and speaking as a victim of rape & sexual abuse, they're really not funny to make fun of or use lightly. However, it's said that humour can be a way to deal with pain, and victims of any kind of abuse should not be told how to react/cope with the abuse. It's not our job to make you understand why you're an *******, we do it out of the kindness of our hearts. When I first realised what had happened to me (I knew something, but I couldn't admit it outright), it ate away at me, I felt I should tell someone but at the same time a victim shouldn't be expected to disclose their status, it's socially unacceptable to NOT share your pain when it comes to abuse, and god forbid you actually get caught up in the cycle of it. But anyway, the first person I told was a friend whom I love and trust more than anything else, I couldn't say it, but I insinuated it. She knew what I meant, but saying the r word was too much for me. She couldn't think of anything to say but I told her how hilarious to me it would be if she said "I'm sorry you got raped!" because it was absurd to say such a thing, and doesn't begin to cover the pain of it. But that's the point. She knew that, that's why it's funny to me. Or was.

If you have to rely on jokes that play on the pain and suffering of other people without actually empathising with their problem, how smart and funny can you actually be?

People don't realize the severity and impact of their jokes.

What do you think would help them realize?

Buying my albums duh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No not really I think people don't self criticise enough, so that's something
I think some realise but they're too selfish to care or too desperate to be liked.

I empathise with rape victims and I don't think there's a problem with rape jokes. Or any jokes (provided you choose your audience accordingly). Almost every joke is at someone/something's expense. That's a big part of how jokes work, whether it's Frankie Boyle taking the piss out of Jordan's disabled son, or it's a group of bards from the middle ages writing ditties about the king having a big nose.

The degree to which the butt of the joke suffers is what people tend to take umbrage at. But in doing so, that creates a sort of "scale of offense", whereby there is a point at which something is only just over the line, therefore offensive, and a point at which something is just about within the boundaries of taste, therefore not offensive.

And that's when it becomes problematic. Who should determine where that line is? We've already established that most jokes need a "victim" in order to be funny, so in that regard there will always be someone who takes offense at a joke, because there will always be someone who can relate more to the victim than the joke teller.

Therefore, there are only two fair, realistic ways of defining what is acceptable and what isn't - either everything is fair game, or nothing is. And no-one wants to live in a world where you can't joke about anything. So "everything is acceptable" wins. Rape jokes are fine.

There are jokes that can go too far, I think. If you make a rape joke around someone who has been raped, they may not be able to help being triggered negatively by that joke.

You don't know if someone has been raped or affected by rape, so why would you make the joke?

Some female comedians joke about being female, some black comedians joke about being black, these are jokes at someone's expense but not to the point of triggering them.

That doesn't mean you know what it's like to be raped, is the thing, just like I have no idea what it's like to not be white. Rape, racism, sexism, transphobia all problems that affect every social class, every race, every gender, and every sexual orientation (etc). So why is it funny? Truly baffles me. I don't think it's funny, and personally I think people should realise that they're joke is problematic and not act like I committed a horrible crime by not laughing at their joke or acting like I'm an ******* for calling them out on their bull****.

Mind you, I'm not trying to force my morality on other people, but I'm still going to call you a plebe if I see fit. I don't approve of taking away other people's rights to free speech however most people seem to not realise that I also have the right to judge the fuck out of them and not want anything to do with people who make such jokes.

Exactly and being that statistically 1 in 6 women will be raped/sexually assaulted in their lives, it really puts it in perspective.

You don't have to laugh at the joke, if you don't think it's funny it's fine, if you think I'm a cunt that's fine too. My dad has schizophrenia and I've seen him do some pretty messed up things, now obviously I love my dad to bits and I empathise with him. Still joke about schizophrenia though, but my sense of humour is admittedly pretty dark.

I agree you have the right to pull people up on it, just like they have the right to tell the joke.

Personally I wouldn't tell a rape joke around someone I know who's been raped, because I don't want to upset them. I have the right to, but I wouldn't do it.

Agree :)

As long as it's funny, nothing should be out of bounds in comedy.

I agree, which is why I mentioned choosing your audience accordingly. You have the right the make the joke wherever but let's say on public transport for example, the chances are someone on there will take offense, so it'd be pretty stupid to tell a rape joke there. I'd still support the joke teller's right to tell the joke, but I'd also call them a stupid twat for picking that situation to tell it in.

Likewise it'd be crass to go up to a couple who've just lost their child to cancer and tell them a cancer or dead kid joke.

There's a time and place, and if people use common sense about when, where and who the audience for the joke is, then nothing should be out of bounds.

Because I've got the right to. I wouldn't purposely do it to offend, though.

Still missing another point, my sense of humour as as dark as it comes, however I still refer to myself as a tranny prostitute, even though I'm a dominatrix and I have passing privilege because I present hyperfeminine, because not acknowledging the privileges that I have in regards to being a sex worker and being queer makes me just as whorephobic and transphobic.

Just because you don't do something on purpose, doesn't mean it isn't offensive. And you can never know who in your audience will be affected by a specific joke.

Exactly.

If i went to a comedy show and got made fun of, there are a lot of things I wouldn't be bothered by, but there's always something that could be a trigger. I will tend to avoid these shows but so many people have triggers. Since rape is such a strong and prevalent one, why does the joke have to be made at all?

You shouldn't have to be the butt of the joke, to make the joke.

Yeah it can still be offensive but so what? People can be offended by anything, I should be able to tell the joke.

Also not what I'm saying
My experience doesn't erase your right to free speech, just like your right to free speech doesn't make you free from criticism and being an *******.

Yeah, I agree.

Also my example was making other people the butt of the joke, not myself. The example uses the perceptions and prejudices of other people against them, not me.

I don't see it as having the right to do or not do something, but rather being smart about it.

I think, generally speaking, that we should be able to joke about anything. If thats what we're doing. There isnt anything wrong with joking and I think the world would be a miserable place if we didn't joke. Can anyone really say they don't joke at all? I doubt it. So automatically, you have made a personal judgement about what is OK to joke about and what isn't and therefore condemning someone else for making a different judgement just doesn't really seem fair.

It all comes down to where your own line is. I reserve the right to make jokes about rape or whatever I want - I just don't. In my opinion I'm being smart about things and also I'm drawing my own line. I think it's a pretty ****ing stupid and insensitive thing to do, to openly and publically joke about certain things, and I would include rape in that. Sure, I don't think anyone should have the right to censor me, but I also think that I can say with absolute certainty that if I make enough rape jokes, it is only a matter of time before someone takes offence to me or gets upset and for what, my right to make a rape joke? I can live without that.

I'm with Mojo on this. If you can intelligently and tactfully make a joke about a tense subject like rape then you should be able to do so. There is a very fine line though. PewDiePie joking about how he "will rape everything" is bad. An actually talented comedian managing to spin together a good joke that involves rape but isn't designed purely at the expense of the victim is fine, although as with any potentially offensive joke you should be sure to consider the situation you're telling it in.

Agreed but that fine line needs to be seriously stressed

Wanda Sykes did it well:


However it wouldn't be funny or acceptable to me if Tina Fey made the joke, since Tina Fey is a slut shaming, racist bitch.

I wrote a massive post and then clicked previous thread instead of post and lost the whole thing. Gonna kill myself.

lmao just sum up

How dare you I love Tina Fey.

She's awful, lol
and she's not even that funny

Shes hawt. And she is funny.

So is your face.

Except for the hot part.

Is this one of those mean jokes that you were talking about? Way to go you just made my day so much better. :confused: Gee thanks.

I'm just teasing you and you know it :)

I wasn't serious. I was playing off the thread topic girl. Plus my face is super model-ish and my cock is huge.

too far bro

Yeah and ur face is funny looking.

That's why people pay to see the feets :)

I'm probably on the same wavelength as Mojo, but with some added **** thrown in.

I see everything as fair game within the realms of making a joke, be it the holocaust, dead babies, racism or rape. That being said, if I am going to joke about something to such a degree I'll do it among people who I already know are comfortable (comfortable as in they know I'm joking, not comfortable with the actual topic) with it by and large and obviously, in whatever situation, actually try and make it funny. Same goes as if I'm going to laugh about it. Jim Davidson racism-not funny. Gervais/Extras implied racism-funny. As were his jokes about the Cambodian genocide, although I appreciate he's non too popular.

Some of these topics have affected me, or close friends or family very directly, and I'm sure many others are the same. Maybe it's therapeutic? I've never really thought about it, I just do it. That being said, I don't think I lack empathy at all. True, I'll rarely go firebrand on someone to convince them something is right or wrong on someone's behalf, but I know how certain issues make me feel and I'm comfortable with my own code of morality.

So basically, rape jokes are fine then.

I've yet to hear a rape joke that made me laugh, but I'm sure they have the capacity to exist.

As for as rape goes, the only thing that really drives me up the wall is how it has become synonymous with the word "defeat" in online gaming. Hearing a bunch of 15 year old guttersh*ts saying they raped each other just disgusts me.

you care less about sexual assault than you do little boy gamers?

oh, my bad I thought it was enough that it affects so many people and is used as a tool of oppression and war. I would think "forcefully dominating someone's intimate parts" was bad enough!

I admit I didn't word that properly, I meant it in usage of the word outside of the actual act of rape.

So what do you define rape as?

The standard Websters dictionary definition works for me, although I think there is some psychological elements that could be added to the definition as well.

Tbh I can't think of any actual structured jokes either. It's more the shock value and delivery that does it for me but that applies to most things.

I hope you don't mean the only thing!

I do know what you mean when it comes to young kids and using it in conversation so casually, as if there isn't such a disgusting and violent connotation to it. Most of them could not even imagine.