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View Poll Results: How do you plead?
I'm a parent 11 17.74%
I'm a child-free woman/man 24 38.71%
I want to have kids someday (please explain) 18 29.03%
I'm undecided 9 14.52%
Voters: 62. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 11-25-2013, 12:57 AM   #141 (permalink)
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For the most part I dislike kids, but if I ever had that one in a million kid that was smart as ****, and did amazing things I would have no complaints. My problem is this, I suffer from various mental problems that I received from my mother, and I have a history of cancer. When I was a kid, I was probably the worst child imaginable, and I really was awful. I like myself a lot more now, but my negative childhood has affected my personal being today. I don't want any kid to go through some of the **** I had to go through, especially if genetics are put into play. I wouldn't mind experiencing another aspect of life though, and I feel like having a kid would open new areas of experience and wisdom. Children have this natural curiosity and approach to problems that I'm almost envious of, it's like re learning something from someone with a fresh point of view, and you end up seeing things in new ways, whether it was intentional or not.
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"check yr fucking posable limbs privilege you ****s"
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Old 11-25-2013, 01:55 AM   #142 (permalink)
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You guys are assigning a different connotation to the word suffering than what I intended. Again, apologies for not making myself clear.

When I say existence is suffering, I don't mean suffering in the sense that sometimes bad things happen. When you are hungry, that is a form of suffering. When you are thirsty, tired, cold, sick, etc etc etc, all of that is a very basic and unavoidable suffering inherent to the existence of sentient beings. The negative things that happen throughout the experience of a sentient being are merely piled on top of that initial suffering.

The only possible way to keep a being from suffering is to not bring the being into existence.
Do you think that because you have to struggle and deal with being sick sometimes your parents shouldn't have had you?


There are people out there who I'm sure have had to deal with far worse than you or I who are grateful for every day that they are alive. There's also people who struggle and become very unhappy. It's a risk, sure, but we do our best and I'd venture to say the pros significantly outweigh the cons when it comes to "people" and being alive. Really, the only argument against a capable family having a child I can understand is the threat of overpopulation. Maybe not in the 2000s or even 2100s but one day the world will stop being able to host the human species and who knows what will happen then.
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Old 11-25-2013, 02:14 AM   #143 (permalink)
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Steph is a Buddhist, where ur shaved head and robes?
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Old 11-25-2013, 05:54 AM   #144 (permalink)
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Steph is a Buddhist, where ur shaved head and robes?
Either she is a Buddhist or chronically depressed.
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Old 11-25-2013, 11:58 AM   #145 (permalink)
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Right. It's a very logical philosophical position in my opinion, but I am reminded over and over again that people don't want to hear it. I'm just going to leave these here and see my way out of this thread.

Quote:
“We infrequently contemplate the harms that await any new-born child—pain, disappointment, anxiety, grief, and death. For any given child we cannot predict what form these harms will take or how severe they will be, but we can be sure that at least some of them will occur. None of this befalls the nonexistent. Only existers suffer harm.”
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“It is unlikely that many people will take to heart the conclusion that coming into existence is always a harm. It is even less likely that many people will stop having children. By contrast, it is quite likely that my views either will be ignored or will be dismissed. As this response will account for a great deal of suffering between now and the demise of humanity, it cannot plausibly be thought of as philanthropic. That is not to say that it is motivated by any malice towards humans, but it does result from a self-deceptive indifference to the harm of coming into existence.”
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“Finally, the optimist’s impatience with or condemnation of pessimism often has a smug macho tone to it (although males have no monopoly of it). There is a scorn for the perceived weakness of the pessimist who should instead ‘grin and bear it’. This view is defective for the same reason that macho views about other kinds of suffering are defective. It is an indifference to or inappropriate denial of suffering, whether one’s own or that of others. The injunction to ‘look on the bright side’ should be greeted with a large dose of both scepticism and cynicism. To insist that the bright side is always the right side is to put ideology before the evidence. Every cloud, to change metaphors, may have a silver lining, but it may very often be the cloud rather than the lining on which one should focus if one is to avoid being drenched by self-deception. Cheery optimists have a much less realistic view of themselves than do those who are depressed.”


― David Benatar, Better Never to Have Been: The Harm of Coming Into Existence
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Old 11-25-2013, 03:49 PM   #146 (permalink)
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Not happenin' man. At least not at my age. And no, it's not because "what, you'll change your mind?", I just don't want to. I may not be selfish about a lot of things, but when it concerns my private parts, I can have full say in it.
It kind of pisses me off when people tell a guy that he should get it done because it's selfish to ask the woman to get her tubes tied. Nobody (who's not an *******) tells a woman to not get an abortion because they agree that it's their body and they have no right telling them what to do with it and yet when it's a man's junk and they don't want to get a vasectomy they have no problem telling him that he's just being selfish.
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Old 11-25-2013, 04:31 PM   #147 (permalink)
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Right. It's a very logical philosophical position in my opinion, but I am reminded over and over again that people don't want to hear it. I'm just going to leave these here and see my way out of this thread.

Quote:
“We infrequently contemplate the harms that await any new-born child—pain, disappointment, anxiety, grief, and death. For any given child we cannot predict what form these harms will take or how severe they will be, but we can be sure that at least some of them will occur. None of this befalls the nonexistent. Only existers suffer harm.”

Quote:
“It is unlikely that many people will take to heart the conclusion that coming into existence is always a harm. It is even less likely that many people will stop having children. By contrast, it is quite likely that my views either will be ignored or will be dismissed. As this response will account for a great deal of suffering between now and the demise of humanity, it cannot plausibly be thought of as philanthropic. That is not to say that it is motivated by any malice towards humans, but it does result from a self-deceptive indifference to the harm of coming into existence.”

Quote:
“Finally, the optimist’s impatience with or condemnation of pessimism often has a smug macho tone to it (although males have no monopoly of it). There is a scorn for the perceived weakness of the pessimist who should instead ‘grin and bear it’. This view is defective for the same reason that macho views about other kinds of suffering are defective. It is an indifference to or inappropriate denial of suffering, whether one’s own or that of others. The injunction to ‘look on the bright side’ should be greeted with a large dose of both scepticism and cynicism. To insist that the bright side is always the right side is to put ideology before the evidence. Every cloud, to change metaphors, may have a silver lining, but it may very often be the cloud rather than the lining on which one should focus if one is to avoid being drenched by self-deception. Cheery optimists have a much less realistic view of themselves than do those who are depressed.”


― David Benatar, Better Never to Have Been: The Harm of Coming Into Existence
Better Never To Have Been?

I should point out I'm not laughing at your post, your opinions are as valid as anyones, but the title to David Benatar's book tickles me.

Yes, it's true that only existers suffer harm, but it is also true that only existers experience joy. As for his belief that optimists are being unrealistic, maybe so, but I suspect all human beings, no matter what they're philosophical tendencies, are out of touch with reality. We just ain't equipped with the right equipment to know what's really going on. And given the likelihood we're all fools, I'd sooner be a happy fool.

If, as someone previously alluded to, you are indeed a Buddhist, perhaps you're familiar with the story of the three vinegar tasters? If not, I'd like to know your opinion on the following famous traditional scene:

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We see three men standing around a vat of vinegar. Each has dipped his finger into the vinegar and has tasted it. The expression on each man's face shows his individual reaction. Since the painting is allegorical, we are to understand that these are no ordinary vinegar tasters, but are instead representatives of the "Three Teachings" of China, and that the vinegar they are sampling represents the Essence of Life. The three masters are K'ung Fu-tse (Confucius), Buddha, and Lao-tse, author of the oldest existing book of Taoism. The first has a sour look on his face, the second wears a bitter expression, but the third man is smiling.

To Kung Fu-tse (kung FOOdsuh), life seemed rather sour. He believed that the present was out step with the past, and that the government of man on earth was out of harmony with the Way of Heaven, the government of, the universe. Therefore, he emphasized reverence for the Ancestors, as well as for the ancient rituals and ceremonies in which the emperor, as the Son of Heaven, acted as intermediary between limitless heaven and limited earth. Under Confucianism, the use of precisely measured court music, prescribed steps, actions, and phrases all added up to an extremely complex system of rituals, each used for a particular purpose at a particular time. A saying was recorded about K'ung Fu-tse: "If the mat was not straight, the Master would not sit." This ought to give an indication of the extent to which things were carried out under Confucianism.

To Buddha, the second figure in the painting, life on earth was bitter, filled with attachments and desires that led to suffering. The world was seen as a setter of traps, a generator of illusions, a revolving wheel of pain for all creatures. In order to find peace, the Buddhist considered it necessary to transcend "the world of dust" and reach Nirvana, literally a state of "no wind." Although the essentially optimistic attitude of the Chinese altered Buddhism considerably after it was brought in from its native India, the devout Buddhist often saw the way to Nirvana interrupted all the same by the bitter wind of everyday existence.

To Lao-tse (LAOdsuh), the harmony that naturally existed between heaven and earth from the very beginning could be found by anyone at any time, but not by following the rules of the Confucianists. As he stated in his Tao To Ching (DAO DEH JEENG), the "Tao Virtue Book," earth was in essence a reflection of heaven, run by the same laws - not by the laws of men. These laws affected not only the spinning of distant planets, but the activities of the birds in the forest and the fish in the sea. According to Lao-tse, the more man interfered with the natural balance produced and governed by the universal laws, the further away the harmony retreated into the distance. The more forcing, the more trouble. Whether heavy or fight, wet or dry, fast or slow, everything had its own nature already within it, which could not be violated without causing difficulties. When abstract and arbitrary rules were imposed from the outside, struggle was inevitable. Only then did life become sour.

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Old 11-25-2013, 05:03 PM   #148 (permalink)
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Better Never To Have Been?

I should point out I'm not laughing at your post, your opinions are as valid as anyones, but the title to David Benatar's book tickles me.

Yes, it's true that only existers suffer harm, but it is also true that only existers experience joy. As for his belief that optimists are being unrealistic, maybe so, but I suspect all human beings, no matter what they're philosophical tendencies, are out of touch with reality. We just ain't equipped with the right equipment to know what's really going on. And given the likelihood we're all fools, I'd sooner be a happy fool.
Damnit, Mr. Charlie, I'm trying to leave this topic - stop tempting me with philosophical debate. :P

To your assessment that only existers experience joy, my argument would be that while that is true, something that never exists can not be deprived. I'm glad you can find comfort in the likelihood that we are all happy fools but I cannot. Ignorance is not bliss - ignorance is ignorance, and ignorance is what I fight.

I am not Buddhist but I am familiar with the parable. While a lot of Buddha's teachings do resonate with me I cannot subscribe to the mindset. The parable is nice and fine but it's just an illustration of each of the master's respective ideologies. I understand the relevance but I don't believe in Nirvana so it doesn't have a lot of use to me in the given context.

I think that people are under the impression that I am arguing that there is no good in the world and I am unable to enjoy things - that is not the case (and yes, DJ, I am chronically depressed but I do not appreciate my views being written off as such). I'm not saying that everyone who finds life enjoyable is a happy fool. My philosophy merely prohibits me from assuming I have the right to impose existence onto another being. Yes, some people are born into good circumstances and some into bad. People raise good children and people raise bad children. Sometimes children grow up to help humanity and sometimes children grow up to shoot up a school (nature vs. nurture is another argument entirely that I will not approach at this time). Procreation is a gamble. It's Russian roulette, really, but rather than aiming the gun at yourself you're aiming it at your offspring.
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Old 11-25-2013, 05:03 PM   #149 (permalink)
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It kind of pisses me off when people tell a guy that he should get it done because it's selfish to ask the woman to get her tubes tied. Nobody (who's not an *******) tells a woman to not get an abortion because they agree that it's their body and they have no right telling them what to do with it and yet when it's a man's junk and they don't want to get a vasectomy they have no problem telling him that he's just being selfish.
I think it's easier for a man to go and ask a doctor for a vasectomy than it is for a woman to go and ask a doctor to get her tubes tied. Doctors always question everything a woman wants to do to her reproductive organs, and yet they will dole out vasectomies to men like candy. It's a whole lot easier to reverse a vasectomy than it is to reverse tubal ligation (and I don't think that can actually happen, tbh), so I don't think a doctor is going to ask a man if he's 100% sure about the decision. It's not that anyone is being selfish there, it's that doctors always think that a woman is going to change her mind about if she wants kids or wants more kids.
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Old 11-25-2013, 05:10 PM   #150 (permalink)
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@JD Cheers for the response. Yours is a most interesting perspective, I must say, and not one I've come across before. It's always interesting to share views and ideas. It's just a shame many seem incapable of doing so without being rude and derogatory.

It's not difficult to remain polite.
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