ladyislingering

What makes someone so narrow-minded that they look at a child-free person and think "wow, they must really hate the human race!"

I've never liked kids. They make too much noise, they're terrifyingly curious and all too mobile (with hands and thumbs - two things cats don't have full control over), they smell awful, their parents are googly-eyed weirdos who say things like "oh, he's 36 months now!" (he's three, you twat).

I knew from the time I was just a little girl that the motherhood thing wasn't in my genes - it wasn't something I wanted to do. I probably held my sister twice when she was a baby. Since then I've never held a child - I don't know what to do with them (how do you even handle those squirming creatures with shit-bags on their bums?) and when they start making their horrific, unsavory noises, it's even worse.

10 years in retail/service jobs has definitely cemented my disdain for children. I don't hate them, I really don't. Some people have seemingly polite children (I assume I just see them during a "good" moment) and that's cool. I just don't want one. Why is that so difficult for some people to get their heads around?

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John Wilkes Booth

This. Add on the fact that you have to censor yourself around them in an attempt to 'set a good example,' or else be labeled an *******.

ladyislingering

What's really annoying is when parents of babies get on your ass about profanity. Really? Trust me, your fuck-trophy doesn't even know where it is; I'm sure it won't give a shit that I'm talking.

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John Wilkes Booth

Speaking of babies, I dislike being pressured to 'talk' to them. I feel like there's no way to do it effectively without debasing myself. If you have a baby and you want me to acknowledge it then I'll just send the mandatory compliments directly to you. Don't ask me to talk to the kid.

Freebase Dali

You don't HAVE to do the stupid goo gah talk. I talk to my baby nephew like a normal human being. I just sit there and make fun of him. He doesn't seem to mind at all.

When you get that unexpected long pass and someone else's baby ends up in your arms, and you're sitting there holding it at arms length, not knowing what to do... just be real.
"Hey there, baby. You cannot understand what I am saying, so this is a pointless event. I held you. Obligation complete. Here is your mother now."

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Burning Down

Don't do the baby talking ****. It's actually counterproductive to their speech development. Every time I hear adults "baby talking" to babies, or worse, toddlers, I want to slap them across the face. Acknowledge the baby like you would anyone else, and then hand them back to mom or dad, haha.

John Wilkes Booth

That is actually what I do, but it feels really foolish speaking normally to a baby. Even so I can't bring myself to do the baby talk.

ladyislingering

A couple years ago at a gathering, I was approached by a small child and I was like "what's up, tiny human?" Its parents probably thought I was from another planet, but I'm not going to go all hormonal over your child. It's just a kid.

I compliment people's dogs more than their children. The dogs probably have more of an idea of what's going on anyway.

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Burning Down

Children are quite aware of what goes on around them. That's how they learn. They're not stupid. In fact, I think kids are more in tune with the world around them than some adults are.

djchameleon

An animal's brain stays child-like for way longer than a child does developmentally. So you prefer child-like minds more so than letting them grow.

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Fame, fortune, power, titties. People say these are the most crucial things in life, but you can have a pocket full o' gold and it doesn't mean sh*t if you don't have someone to share that gold with. Seems simple. Yet it's an important lesson to learn. Even lone wolves run in packs sometimes.