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View Poll Results: How do you plead?
I'm a parent 10 17.54%
I'm a child-free woman/man 22 38.60%
I want to have kids someday (please explain) 17 29.82%
I'm undecided 8 14.04%
Voters: 57. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 01-05-2014, 01:24 AM   #331 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Janszoon View Post
That's pretty much the opposite of what I was saying actually.
Pardon me then. It's late, I worked all day, so my ability to comprehend anything is pretty much slim.
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Old 01-05-2014, 02:18 AM   #332 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Ki View Post
And this is the same crap every grown up says about what a young person says. Being young doesn't automatically mean you can't be in control of what you do with the rest of your life. In most cases, it's better to know what you want to do with your life earlier on.
silly grown ups

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Old 01-05-2014, 08:36 AM   #333 (permalink)
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I´m sure in this thread we are all pretty much agreed;

1. If you want children it´s for you and your partner to decide.
2. Some people make good parents, some don´t.
3. If you are lucky, life is full of benefits whether you have children or not.

If ladyislingering has felt pressure to have children, that can be uncomfortable. I´ve seen it from parents eager for grandchildren, and like any family disagreement you have to diffuse it or confront it as best you can. Pressure from outside the family is pretty easy to laugh off, I imagine. In fact in many European countries that kind of social pressure disappeared about 50 years ago.

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Originally Posted by ladyislingering View Post
I suppose I've been very fortunate in the respect that I'm not yet 30 but have a clear and precise image of everything I want (and everything I don't). Just because other people are on the fence about some things, well ... that doesn't matter to me. Better to be in-between than rushing into some bull**** you're probably going to regret later (e.g.; children)
^ I thought this remark was a little provocative, because it seems to suggest that there´s a commonplace connection between bull****, regret and children, although that particular combination is just one of many possibilities.

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... but some of us live in a comfortable black and white state of mind - we already know what we like and don't like, and I sort of feel bad for people with too much grey but they'll figure it out eventually.
^ As someone who has been wrestling with grey all his life, this comment really surprised me!

Yes, sometimes grey is confusing and can leave you feeling directionless, but ambivalence has its advantages too; keeping an open mind, not commiting yourself until you have to, debating, assessing new evidence. Stuff like that is what the whole edifice of modern science is based on.

The great thing about grey is that your options stay open, and I would say this to any young person who is deciding against having children; qualify your declaration by saying, "I don´t want children at the moment." Because things can change, and your own feelings can change, regardless of how strong and certain they may feel today. (That certainly happened in my case; across a period of about fifteen years, the benefits of my child-free existence, which I had enjoyed for so long,began to feel hollow and repetitive, so that I was ready for a change even before I became a father.)
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Old 01-05-2014, 04:17 PM   #334 (permalink)
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If you don't like children then don't have them otherwise you would make their lives miserable and vice versa. Simple.
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Old 01-05-2014, 06:15 PM   #335 (permalink)
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even before I became a father
you didn't have to carry it around and birth it, man.

of course you just rolled with it.
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Old 01-05-2014, 07:31 PM   #336 (permalink)
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That´s true! If I´d had to do any of that childbirth stuff I might´ve had a different attitude:- x2
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Old 01-05-2014, 08:13 PM   #337 (permalink)
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That´s true! If I´d had to do any of that childbirth stuff I might´ve had a different attitude:- x2
Childbirth is the 2nd reason I'm half hoping the whole cervical cancer thing gets me (it's in my genetics, man) because I just want to get all my junk removed, it's useless anyway.
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Old 01-06-2014, 05:40 PM   #338 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Janszoon View Post
Nothing wrong with it at all. It's just that young people who know what they want in life tend to grow older, change their minds about things, and try to explain said transformation to young people who know what they want in life.
This.
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i havent i refuse to in fact. it triggers my ptsd from yrs ago when i thought my ex's anal beads were those edible candy necklaces
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Keep it in your pants scottie.
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Old 01-06-2014, 07:22 PM   #339 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Janszoon View Post
Nothing wrong with it at all. It's just that young people who know what they want in life tend to grow older, change their minds about things, and try to explain said transformation to young people who know what they want in life.
I wanted to respond to this again due to the last time not going so well but now I see what you're getting at. I assumed you meant the opposite which led to the opposite viewpoint response, but now I see that you're saying the people who are older now (who had the same mindset as what I was talking about for young people) are just giving advice about the same situation, since they lived through it.
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Old 01-06-2014, 07:31 PM   #340 (permalink)
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I don't want a child free life or a child.
I'm perfectly fine with my sister bringing hers around for a few hours a week just as I'm perfectly fine with her taking them home & the end of it too.
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