The many benefits of a child-free life
 

As long as I've been alive, I've never had a desire to be around children. I've never wanted one of my own, and I've never been able to find any reason why it would be a logical decision for me (or anyone).

Usually when people find out about this, they're aghast. They're so offended by a woman in charge of her body, making her own decisions about what she wants or doesn't want to do with it. They can't believe what they're hearing. I get a lot of hate for my lifestyle, and it surprises me. The love of my life has the same beliefs I do about the childfree life: it's fabulous, rewarding, and what we'll keep on doing forever. Neither of us want children, and here's why I believe a lot of people could benefit from swearing off the social pressure of having children.

Think about it: why do people have children? Most of the time it's because that's what they think they're "supposed to do". People follow this ridiculous recipe for the "perfect" life, and they lose themselves in it.

First I'll discuss the things that we enjoy as a childfree couple, then I'll let you in on my personal freedoms and pleasures that would be robbed from me if I made the mistake of having a child.



As a childfree couple, we are able to:



There are many more that I'm possibly forgetting, but our life is truly beautiful because we don't have any kids, and never will.

Some of the little things I enjoy as a child-free woman:



And that's just the beginning of how rewarding it is to be child-free.

Now for the poll: do you see a necessity in breeding?

yeah because my body can make a baby so I want a baby

thats p much the short of it
I'll be a bad ass mommy tho

idc what other people do with their uteruses tho, its not my business

it's pretty incredible that women are capable of making another human; that's pretty badass and scientific and whatnot. (but it's not for everyone.)

would it improve your life?

would it be worth it?

sounds like youre tryin to justify the decision to yourself

Usually when people find out about this, they're aghast. They're so offended by a woman in charge of her body,

thats really the first think you think of?? lol so absurd.




anyway like i said somewhere else, the wrong ppl are havin kids. uneducated losers are havin the most children. then their children do the same. so theres no necessity in breeding. if there was a possible way itd be great to sterilize these ppl.

my theory is these ppl have kids more quickly and more often because they have little else in their life. kids also probably keep marriages more together. i plan to have a boy someday.

Well bb not just women remember :P

I think it would, I really think I'll make a great mother and I'll pass on my sensibilities and ideas on to a little person who will hopefully grow up to be as kind, patient and compassionate as their mummy. If they're not just like me I won't be mad though, I'll at least know that I put something in this world that was raised to be accepting of others.

I'm an antinatalist. I don't think life is a miracle. I think people who want to be parents should make adoption their first choice. I also think the world would be better off without humans, but I won't drag you down with all that hogwash.

This is how I think and how I live mine. However, while a proponent of this philosophy I am not a prophet. I would never tell another person how to live their life.

I don't need to justify my decision not to have children, any more than a woman needs to justify her choice to have them. I just get a lot of really bizarre reactions, and they're often hateful. Like, heaven forbid, a young woman knows what she wants to do with herself.

I agree with you on one note: too many idiots are having kids.

Not too sure on whether kids would strengthen a marriage (I recall a recent study showing that they just make things worse, but wouldn't know where to find the article) but I do know that they're the ones that suffer if a marriage is unfit, or if their parents are divorcing. There's a lot of trauma to be had by a child birthed by people who don't love each other.

well, yeah, dudes have a place in it, but they don't have a uterus. ;)

motherhood would fit you well, because you have the best interest of a child in mind. you're the difference between a parent and a breeder, and that's great. too many people are simple breeders, having kids only for the sake of doing what they think they should be doing with their lives, rather than being parents and actually raising children with love and good intentions.

I agree. Think of all the children in this world who were abandoned, or taken from abuse or poverty, living in shelters waiting for someone to love them. And then there's people who just pop 'em out like crazy. We need to take care of those who can't take care of themselves before we make more of them, seriously. If I wanted kids, that would be my first choice. (That's why we're adopting cats from the shelter - they need parents or they will die alone.)

Humans are slowly destroying the planet. (But that's really a whole different topic.) I honestly dislike most people I meet, as they seem to have heads full of goddamn rocks.

And then there's the cool people with their well-behaved children. You go, cool people who actually wanted children and didn't just have them because society told you to. (And surprisingly, those people are usually the ones who are the least hateful toward the child-free!)

No desire to have kids. Not currently anyway. But who knows, people change. Also, I'm not sure I'd make a very good father. All those rules to set out. Don't like rules.

It took me almost quarter of a goddamn century to figure out my own rules; I couldn't imagine having to lay them out for a kid.

There's already too many people on that planet anyway so really there's no need to make more.
Also I know this may sound nasty,but I know many people who should have been sterilized before they got children. It's not good to have any children if you,really can't take care of them and all that stuff.

We were all children once!

Yes, but it's not good for anyone if someone who is not able to take care of her/his child gets one. It's not good for the child and it's not good for his/her.
But usually those ones who cannot take care of their children are the ones who have most of them

It does seem that way. And we will soon reach breaking point population wise. Maybe what China is doing (one child per couple) is the answer? But their 'solution' will eventually lead to the dangerous position where the taxes of a single working person have to support two elderly people.

Also in China they have got one problem that is caused by their one child per couple- law.
They have got too many males since everyone wants a boy and aborts girls and in a long run that don't seem good either. But it's also understandable, when one thinks about their male-centered culture.

I have a child and I obviously don't regret her for a second, but still I think it's admirable, not to mention responsible for you to take such a position. I don't quite understand why you're subjected to harsh judgement and criticism for choosing not to procreate. sure It defies societal convention, but I think societal convention needs to catch up with the reality of human overpopulation. it really isn't an adjunct issue.

And I have nothing against those ones who have children if they take good care of them. If someone wants a child, then gets it, and loves him/her and helps him/her to grow up to be good man, that's allright.
But really,if you don't want children, nowadays you don't have to get one and I think it's great.

The older I get and the more I experience, the more I've realized that I'm just not suited for the parent role. I hardly have patience for the undisciplined, spoiled brats that I see at work every day. Hell, I hardly have patience for grown adults. I've taken to nurturing the loves of my life, but I couldn't care for something entirely helpless without worrying that I'm somehow moulding them into a bad person or something.

Furthermore I feel it's more responsible to not risk having a kid who's blind (it runs in both of us) or very sick, especially knowing that I'd never be able to afford the essential care for a healthy pregnancy or anything like that. Kids just don't suit up with my life.

(And they really, really freak me out.)

:clap:

Most people have children because it's a deeply embedded instinct to do so. If it wasn't, our species wouldn't have survived as long as it has. A lot of people also find it to be the most fulfilling aspect of their lives. And there's actually a practical reason as well: to have someone who will look out for you and be your advocate when you're elderly. Many times, unfortunately, people without children end up neglected and extremely isolated in their old age. I'm not for having kids or against having kids by the way, just pointing out a few reasons why people do.

Personally, I want to have my own children one day. I want to pass on my genes. Yes, adoption is ideal but I'd love to have a child that was created by me and shares the same blood as me. I'm getting to that stage in life where I only have five years left to have a kid or else I won't and then I'll end up being a crazy cat lady.

There are studies which I don't feel like looking up right now that shows that people are waiting longer to become parents than previous generations. I think that is a really good thing because you do have to be in a certain mindset and it is excellent to have job security to be able to provide for your child. I know there are accidental births that happen and people end up keeping them while raising them to be perfectly fine. There are also people on the other side of the coin that has no business raising children and should have had an abortion or given their kid up for adoption.

You don't need to buy health insurance but you should. You never know when something bad will happen to you and then you aren't covered because you thing you are invincible. That's the problem with our generation the millennials we aren't buying insurance because we think we don't need it. If I wasn't around covered I would buy insurance to help fund the ACA but that's whole other topic which I should update since I created that thread.

Also when you have a child you are saying you wouldn't love it and devote your attention to it? love isn't something that can only be focused on one person and that's it. You love your cats don't you. The same thing applies to children.

Child proofing candles is so simple. Your post sounds like a list of excuses to try to justify why you don't want children but they are really easy fixes. Some of your excuses are fine and I understand them but others are just straight up silly.

http://www.divinesecretsofadomesticd.../mariakang.jpg

Excellent figure that wasn't destroyed by kids. Another excuse of yours that doesn't really hold water.

At the end of the day, I don't blame you for not wanting to have children and live a child-free life but I just wanted to counter some silly points you were making.


Most people say that. They don't think they will make a good father/mother until they have one and then they wing it as they go and end up becoming the father/mother that they NEED to be for their child.



I know you don't want to have children but if you did. Technology has advanced so you could get tested to find out the exact percentages of you having a child that is born blind or with whatever genetic disorder that you are worried about. I feel like that's not even a big deal.

People should have to take an IQ test before they have a child. Anything below 140 and you get sterilized. I've seen some really stupid parents, and those are the ones creating multiple brats.

There is more truth in this than most people realize:

The population would die out in a few decades maybe sooner than that. People that have higher IQs tend to not want kids so thanks for killing off the entire human race with that silly premise.

Is this a fact?

No.

Try again.

We could do some kind of Logan's Run style society where people under a certain IQ get euthanized after say 30 years (should be long enough for them to squirt out a couple water headed cum sprouts). That would actually be a pretty good incentive to embrace knowledge... although it is kind of unethical and elitist.

Anyways my use of the phrase "water headed cum sprout" should give you an idea of where I stand on the issue. Definitely not for me, I like having disposable income.

Actually it is a fact. There have been research studies done regarding it. Sure there might be a few that do but not enough to keep a population going.

Women with higher IQs are less likely to have kids, research suggests - NY Daily News

This is just the first article I found on it. I could go searching for more if you'd like.

Umm, do you know that 140 is considered genius IQ and that the average IQ is about 100?
I mean, even in the clip you linked to, the husband in the "smart couple" had an IQ below 140.
Sterilizing anyone with an IQ below 140 would mean sterilizing >95% of the world's population.

Oh yeah? **** those people. and their ****ty facts.

I was thinking "Awww crap, he's gonna go find some freakin article with statistics that support his argument". ...and bam! There it is.

My child is the best thing that ever happened in my life. I know some will not understand this, and I won't spew out any mushy gushy BS about it. There are too many variables to the equation of the how and why some people are just good parents and some are not, let alone the deciding factor of wanting to have children or not.

One thing I do know is that a couple should not be allowed to have more than 2 or 3 at most. These families of 5, 6, or more kids make me wonder how vain must a person be to want to recreate themselves that much.

I am aware.

147 myself. Last I checked.

I just want less people in the world. It'd be a much nicer commute.

This.

Hate kids. Hate the kind of people a lot of parents turn into when they have kids. I have no desire to have my personality shifted to accommodate my child. My uncle once told me that everybody supports gay scout masters until they have kids. And while I know that's homophobic nonsense, there is probably a nugget of truth in that your own opinions probably get subverted to an extent now that you're protecting a child.

Plently of studies have been done showing that the more education a person has, the less kids they ultimately end up with.

The best benefit? No kids. Simple.

I really want a child. Not more than two though, and I have had this conversation with my boyfriend and he agrees with me. Hopefully before I'm 35, as after 35 the chances for genetic mutations are greater, and also the chances of the child having autism. Nothing wrong with autistic children (my brother is) but its a lot of work and money to care for them. I don't think I could deal with that (but then again, neither did my parents and they've done okay). I have grown up surrounded by children as my mom runs a daycare out of the house. I think I just have that maternal instinct engrained inside me. Plus I am going to be a teacher and want to devote my life to children's education, more specifically music education (as it's quite important in a child's development, but that is a whole other topic right there).

My child will be wanted and loved by us. I will have a good paying job and my child will have a good quality life and will be provided with a good education. I am not having a child to appease society's expectations - that is the wrong reason to have a child. I will not be giving up my life by having a child - that idea is constantly pushed upon me by friends and family who have chosen to be child free (and I don't judge their choice, since it's a commendable choice, so it's extremely rude of them to say things like that to me).

If I can't have a child for whatever reason, I'm not going to let that bother me. Or I will at least try not to let it get to me. I'm hesitant in going the adoption route since its quite costly here and since I have a couple of adopted relatives who have caused some big drama within our once tight knit family, so I don't want that experience. I understand why people choose adoption though.

I have noticed that there is a problem with bratty kids lately, and honestly I believe it's due to the fear that parents have of saying NO to their child. Most of them are either my age OR older parents in their forties who waited forever to have a child and are afraid to discipline their precious baby. Too many kids are so spoiled now due to lax parenting. Those kids are the ones you see and hear out in public, with bad manners or screaming because they didn't get the latest toy. If you can't say no to your kid now, when they are teenagers they are going to think they can get away with whatever they want!

Wow, ginormous post. TL;DR: I want kids.

Id be down for a variation of this. Also sterilize violent repeat criminal offenders. My theory is that educated ppl wait long to have fewer kids becsuse they're smarter and realize more realistically the challenges of parenthood and they have more to live for. They hsve a more important purpose.

Do you support eugenics by any chance? There's actually a whole thread on that issue, also started by ladyislingering.

Yah I do but I also realize the slippery slope of it all. Eliminate serious birth defects. I really don't see a legit way to stop losers from having kids.

As for bratty kids.... I think there's a middle ground that parents have trouble finding. You either have the ones who are too shortsighted to see the value of punishment long term. Or maybe some are scared to be too harsh. Then ya have the ones who beat the hell outta their kids and get them placed in group homes. We can al agree the wrong ppl continoudly have kids.

Btw I'm totally for spanking and those who are pseudo activists against it are pussies

Meanwhile you're going to litter the world with children and ladyislingering won't. The people who should procreate don't and the ones who shouldn't do. **** it all.

There have been plenty of studies done on this and it's been proven that positive reinforcement (praising good behavior) is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more effective than physically punishing a child (there's a term for this in psychology but I don't remember it). Check your macho bull**** at the door and get learnt. All your teaching a child to do when you spank them is fear you, which can actually make things worse. Maybe not immediately but it almost never works out for the best.


As for me, I know for a fact I don't want kids anytime soon but I'm open to the idea of it in the future. My mom had me when she was my age (21) and it was always a struggle for her, especially since she was a single parent. I'll stick by my son or daughter if I ever have one with somebody but that somebody is gonna hafta be pretty awesome.

I'm really not sure how any of that opposes anythin I support lol. Was it supposed to?

You said you are in favor of spanking.

I explained to you that praising a child's good behavior has been scientifically proven to be better for that child's development than punishing bad behavior, physically or otherwise.

Can you not read?