Music Banter - Spill Your Guts: What You Really Think About MB members

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Freebase Dali (Post 1523786)

I think that's a cop-out, to be honest. The way I see it, if someone lacks the personal development necessary to be able to handle negativity in their environment and not take things personally or to some personal extreme enough to affect them, they're avoiding the real issue. There will always be negativity in any environment, and much of it is unavoidable. I think there's greater opportunity in learning how to process things you may find distasteful or hurtful rather than avoiding those things.

That's not to say one should actively seek negativity, but it's to say that while operating in an environment capable of containing such negativity, the option to remove it instead of growing your ability to deal with it is akin to putting your head in the sand. And I feel like that's kind of a disservice to a person's goal of personal development. I find more value in the people that have intellectual skin where the negativity rolls off it like water on a duck. Those are the people that know where they stand and know their own value, regardless of what others think.

Just my opinion.

Agreed, its better to learn how to ACTUALLY ignore someone. Builds character, puts hair on your chest.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carpe Mortem (Post 1523795)

Agreed, its better to learn how to ACTUALLY ignore someone. Builds character, puts hair on your chest.

Agreed. I think there's much more value in learning how to understand that other people are going to have opinions or methods that run counter to your own. The less that sort of thing actually affects you, the more independent of other people's opinions you actually are. Avoidance isn't the path to that.

^^^^ Yes, but in 'real life' you can deal with people face to face. Some people think they can say nasty things on the internet because they are invisible in fact they probably get a kick out of it. Some people don't have a life - cowardly bastards.

Yep. In real life people wouldn't dare say such things to your face -- the unkind things said on forums.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grogsy (Post 1523800)

"Real life" or not, if you're investing time into it, why hide from the inevitable aspects of it if it doesn't affect you? There's not a functional difference between how you perceive negativity based on the medium. Whether it happens online or off, if you can't deal with it on one, you can't deal with it on the other. And the ability to deal with someone face to face as a reason for not dealing with them when they're potentially thousands of miles away doesn't really jive with me as far as motivation goes. If a person feels like it's more effort to deal with negativity on the internet, I'd say they'd have far worse problems "in real life".

Maybe we should actually be honest about this, because what you're saying doesn't make much sense to me.

^^^ You could be right. I have to admit that I hate bitchiness and negativity but in actual fact have never had to deal with it personally. I'm a vet and spend my working day with animals - so much nicer than a lot of people.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mordwyr (Post 1523805)

Yep. In real life people wouldn't dare say such things to your face -

Welllllll......

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grogsy (Post 1523824)

I think that if you can get yourself to a point where it doesn't faze you, you could live a better life. I'm working on that myself. So far, it's going great!

the letter I wrote for wd has been sitting on my kitchen table for like a week and I'm just now getting around to writing cards for everyone else on my list this holiday season.

I'm starting to think most of my friends are just people I kind of care about and have a few things in common with, and others are like my soul siblings.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Freebase Dali (Post 1523829)

I think that if you can get yourself to a point where it doesn't faze you, you could live a better life. I'm working on that myself. So far, it's going great!

Perhaps so, but in the meantime I'll stay clear of hassle. I'm a happy soul and want to keep it that way. Not everyone enjoys confrontation - me especially but I do realise that I can't live in happy land forever :o: