When you shave your pubes you stick the cuttings onto your face.

You poo into plastic cups and then try to sell it on the street corner as fresh chocolate mousse. When nobody buys it (because you look like a tramp and nobody buys food from tramps) you get all hungry and start tucking in to the produce yourself.

You eat your own poo and you love it.

You drink directly from urinals and then take some of the little blue blocks to chew on.

DNA studies have shown that 63% of your DNA is mutated, but not in a cool way like the X-Men, so scientists call you a Y-Man. Y stands for y-fronts.

For the record, stop asking God to take away your virginity. The only way you'll ever get laid is if the 300lbs heifer gets drunk and takes pity on you. And even then it will still take a half a box of ruffies and 50$ to get her to suck that itty bitty tiny noodle you like to call your ****.

*High Fives Dave*

Ben has two virginities. And his lymph nodes actually secrete pure virginity hormone so that if he ever loses one he'll quickly be restored to double-virgin status.

Ben is SUCH a virgin that sacrificing him would appease ALL of the ancient gods.

Ben is only a virgin if you count people OVER the age of 12 he's had sex with.

Ben's beard is actually his pubes. His pubic hair was so repulsed by his malformed genitalia that it just got up and moved to his face.

His face looks like normally formed genitalia.