Man used penis to assault female police officer

TheCunningStunt · 03-16-2010, 04:59 PM

BBC News - Man used penis to assault female police officer

The internet makes me happy.

Scissorman · 03-16-2010, 05:17 PM

Quote:

Fiscal depute Elaine Lynch said: "The accused got to his feet and was standing over the police officer exposing his penis and thrusting it in her face, forcing her to take evasive action to avoid getting struck.".

Dr.Seussicide · 03-16-2010, 06:19 PM

Hahahahahahaha, holy fucking shit. That's some good stuff.

**Janszoon** · 03-17-2010, 10:54 AM

Quote:

Marium Varinauskas had been drinking heavily

Shocking!

Mojo · 03-17-2010, 11:09 AM

This is fucked. Pretty funny too though I have to admit.

Bane of your existence · 03-17-2010, 11:34 AM

Why doesn't it mention how the cops face was at **** level? It just says he was sitting on the couch, and all the sudden he got up and was standing over her? She just wanted to take a seat or this dude was really tall?

**Janszoon** · 03-17-2010, 11:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bane of your existence

Why doesn't it mention how the cops face was at **** level? It just says he was sitting on the couch, and all the sudden he got up and was standing over her? She just wanted to take a seat or this dude was really tall?

I assumed this implied that he stood up on the couch:

Quote:

They arrived to find the self-employed engineer sitting on the sofa wearing a pair of underpants.

Fiscal depute Elaine Lynch said: "The accused got to his feet and was standing over the police officer..."

Bane of your existence · 03-17-2010, 12:05 PM

I guess I just wouldn't consider getting to one's feet standing on a couch. It would warrant the extra detail imo.

Urban Hat€monger ? · 03-17-2010, 12:44 PM

I wonder if how hard or flaccid he was will affect the charge & subsequent sentence.

I mean how do you assault someone with something soft & floppy of that size.

~~hissundaygirl09.~~ · 03-17-2010, 01:26 PM

woww .. thats ****ing crazy..

03-16-2010, 04:59 PM	#1 (permalink)
TheCunningStunt love will tear you apart Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Manchester, UK. Posts: 5,107	Man used penis to assault female police officer BBC News - Man used penis to assault female police officer The internet makes me happy.

03-16-2010, 06:19 PM	#3 (permalink)
Dr.Seussicide FakingSuicideForApplause Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: I live in a van down by the river Posts: 1,365	Hahahahahahaha, holy fucking shit. That's some good stuff. __________________ I'll stay if I ever could, and pick up your pieces babe, because there's never a perfect day. Don't fret, baby, we're simply growing And my darling, I wouldn't mind to die like this.

03-17-2010, 11:09 AM	#5 (permalink)
Mojo Melancholia Eternally Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: England Posts: 5,018	This is fucked. Pretty funny too though I have to admit. __________________ Last.FM \| Echoes and Dust

03-17-2010, 12:44 PM	#9 (permalink)
Urban Hat€monger ? The Sexual Intellectual Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Somewhere cooler than you Posts: 18,605	I wonder if how hard or flaccid he was will affect the charge & subsequent sentence. I mean how do you assault someone with something soft & floppy of that size. __________________ Urb's RYM Stuff Most people sell their soul to the devil, but the devil sells his soul to Nick Cave.

03-17-2010, 11:34 AM	#6 (permalink)
Bane of your existence Such That Join Date: May 2007 Location: Austin, Tx Posts: 1,197	Why doesn't it mention how the cops face was at **** level? It just says he was sitting on the couch, and all the sudden he got up and was standing over her? She just wanted to take a seat or this dude was really tall?

03-17-2010, 12:05 PM	#8 (permalink)
Bane of your existence Such That Join Date: May 2007 Location: Austin, Tx Posts: 1,197	I guess I just wouldn't consider getting to one's feet standing on a couch. It would warrant the extra detail imo.

03-17-2010, 01:26 PM	#10 (permalink)
~~hissundaygirl09.~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: so cal/arizona Posts: 35	woww .. thats ****ing crazy..