Over 1000 Terms for Male Masturbation... What's yours?

Dr.Seussicide · 09-25-2010, 03:26 PM

So, apparently, someone had a lot of time on their hands...

...And made this list.

"Beat the morning wood (like every good boy should)" is pretty awesome, so which term gets your attention?

simplephysics · 09-25-2010, 04:10 PM

Choke the sheriff and wait for the posse? What the hell? Whoever wrote that did a considerable amount of drugs beforehand.

crash_override · 09-25-2010, 04:20 PM

"Go down to zipper mart to pick up a pound of pork" FTW.

Dr.Seussicide · 09-25-2010, 04:21 PM

Five-fingered humpty hump love pump

Fuck yeah

Increase the surface temperature of the ship's primary cannon using rapid linear motion

Goblin Tears · 09-25-2010, 05:14 PM

Just plain old ''masturbating'' does it for me...it's simpler, and applies for both guys and girls...

emostreetguitar562268 · 09-25-2010, 05:18 PM

i always thought drain the lizard meant he had to pee. whoops.

my #1 phrase would have to be...

Hitchhike to heaven

although answer the bone-a-phone would probly be 2nd or 3rd.

Laurent Quinn Proper · 10-01-2010, 06:37 AM

859 and 860 are the same thing, "Stroke the Salami."

I lol'ed at "Jizturbation."

ThePhanastasio · 10-01-2010, 07:19 AM

I thought "Vote Republican" was an entertaining euphemism. Also: If someone actually ever says they're doing the "Five-fingered humpty hump love pump", they deserve to have to masturbate in lieu of actual sex.

loveissucide · 10-01-2010, 10:37 AM

The Irish term is "Interfering With Yourself", which probably gets the appeal across.

Connair · 10-07-2010, 12:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by loveissucide

The Irish term is "Interfering With Yourself", which probably gets the appeal across.

Ha that sounds really creepy. And think its funny that this thread only has guy imput or atlead i think(could definately be wrong). Damn the internet.

09-25-2010, 03:26 PM	#1 (permalink)
Dr.Seussicide FakingSuicideForApplause Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: I live in a van down by the river Posts: 1,365	Over 1000 Terms for Male Masturbation... What's yours? The List So, apparently, someone had a lot of time on their hands... ...And made this list. "Beat the morning wood (like every good boy should)" is pretty awesome, so which term gets your attention? __________________ I'll stay if I ever could, and pick up your pieces babe, because there's never a perfect day. Don't fret, baby, we're simply growing And my darling, I wouldn't mind to die like this.

09-25-2010, 04:21 PM	#4 (permalink)
Dr.Seussicide FakingSuicideForApplause Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: I live in a van down by the river Posts: 1,365	Five-fingered humpty hump love pump Fuck yeah Increase the surface temperature of the ship's primary cannon using rapid linear motion __________________ I'll stay if I ever could, and pick up your pieces babe, because there's never a perfect day. Don't fret, baby, we're simply growing And my darling, I wouldn't mind to die like this.

10-01-2010, 10:37 AM	#9 (permalink)
loveissucide Himself Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Leuven ,Belgium, via Ireland Posts: 1,325	The Irish term is "Interfering With Yourself", which probably gets the appeal across. __________________ www.last.fm/user/p-mccusker http://www.mixcloud.com/pmccusker www.valjester.wordpress.com

09-25-2010, 05:14 PM	#5 (permalink)
Goblin Tears Music Addict Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Ireland Posts: 337	Just plain old ''masturbating'' does it for me...it's simpler, and applies for both guys and girls...

10-01-2010, 07:19 AM	#8 (permalink)
ThePhanastasio Killed Laura Palmer Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Ashland, KY Posts: 1,679	I thought "Vote Republican" was an entertaining euphemism. Also: If someone actually ever says they're doing the "Five-fingered humpty hump love pump", they deserve to have to masturbate in lieu of actual sex.