misspoptart

I also feel like it was my fault. I shouldn't have put either of us in that situation by going home with a drunk guy in the first place. I'm know he feels bad about it anyway, and I feel bad that he feels bad about it.

Guilt is what I feel; it's a simple as that. I'm sure there are other women who could identify with me on this.

Guybrush

When I phrased the question for the thread, what I wanted to ask was really whether or not we can hold rape victims accountable for the crime done against them. The psychology of guilt for the victim didn't really enter into it, but it's an interesting aspect or point of view and one I haven't really got much experience with or considered at all, but I am aware that guilt is a common feeling for rape victims. I imagine many things will factor into it.

You probably feel that you put yourself in that situation and perhaps you feel you could've done more to prevent it. Maybe you feel guilty for not doing much about it. But what I see is simply someone committing a crime against you. It doesn't matter if you made it simple for him to commit that crime. Committing the crime is illegal and we all have a personal responsibility not to commit crimes. You can tempt someone all you like, dress however you like, be as drunk as you like. He still has to take personal responsibility for the crimes he commits. So don't carry other peoples responsibility for them - especially not when they've victimized you! You should not feel guilty.


By the way, Self-blame (being common in victims) is a topic on Wikipedia's article on Effects and aftermath of rape. You should read it!

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Something Completely Different

misspoptart

Thanks for all the advice and support on the matter tore, but regardless of the law, I feel more bad for that guy than I could ever feel for me. I don't feel "victimized." I feel accountable for my actions and I'm taking responsibility for a situation in which I was clearly more coherent.

Sorry for not speaking directly to your question.

Quzi

The 6 people who voted yes in the poll worry me. Stay away from my future daughters!

TheBig3

The 6 people who voted "yes" wanted attention. Its a common symptom this close to this softball of a soapbox.

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I've moved to a new address

Urban Hat€monger ?

You might want to read Misspoptarts posts on why she did before you make blanket statements like that.

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TheBig3

Is that going to be as fun?

Edit: So I read it, and while I disagree with her, I'll say 1 vote wasn't to be a troll-grinning jackass. Drunk isn't an excuse. Normally a nice guy isn't an excuse. He didn't mean it doesn't fly. Forget about women for a few seconds and let's discuss this as men. Do you (general you) have a shred of honor? Can you see where the night is going and tell yourself that you don't want to be that person? Can you add up what this action means for her?

Poptart has a right to her opinion, but sexual intercourse is a two-way street. If she let it get out of hand, then so did he. He's an adult and should act like it. An "oh come on" defense is laughable and if he said it about anything else to a room of men they'd look at him like he was being ridiculous. You're not a 5-year old, stop conducting business like you're a 5-year old. Men, in general, need to grow the **** up and act like men. Rape is the action of the morally bankrupt, criminals, and children who don't know any better (and are therefore classified as children and told what to do).

Men ought to know better. And honest, so should poptart.

http://www.upworthy.com/3-photos-tha...-defense?c=bl3

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I've moved to a new address

CrazyVegn

Agreed

CrazyVegn

Hm, did I just hear something? Weird...

They draw attn to themselves if you read the thread from start 'til now so you'll know who to keep away from any orifices.
There are a couple who are merely kidding, tho.

John Wilkes Booth

An anonymous poll is a brilliant way to win attention.