Corrupt A Wish
 

Okay, the rules are simple. You have to make a wish, and the person below you has to grant it, but it has a catch. Then that person makes a wish. Example:

Person 1- I wish I had a million dollars.
Person 2- Granted, but it's stolen from a bank, and you're wanted.
Person 2 Again- I wish I was good looking.

And so on and so forth. Anyways, to start the game, here's my wish:

I wish Emma Watson was my girlfriend.

She has herpes.




I wish I had a flying unicorn that pissed alcohol.

Granted, but she's polygamous and expects you to sleep with her other boyfriend on the regular.

I wish I could speak every language known to mankind.

@WhateverDude Granted, but the alcohol is extremely watered down.

@ hate paper doll Granted, but no one understands you.

I wish classic games weren't so expensive.

You were caught drinking the unicorn's urine straight from the faucet and now you're wanted on beastiality charges.

I wish my hairline wasn't receding.

Meh, wouldn't be the first time. Not that I can remember.

@Frownland Granted, but you grow extra ass hair as well.

I wish classic games weren't so expensive.

You can buy them for a dollar, but they're one per customer and only games approved by the cashier.

I wish I had a replicator.

Relevant:

Granted, but it can only make poop.

I wish my website had more views.

That was a good one! :laughing:

Your website's views are through the roof, thanks to the psycho girl stalking you and carving your name into her arm.


I wish I had a neverending supply of weed.

Granted, but you have to share it with me.

I wish Undertaker's streak remained intact at Wrestlemania.

Granted, but only because his body odor has knocked out all of his opponents!

Granted, but only because Bret Hart went on a shooting spree and Wrestlemania was cancelled.

I wish I didn't need sleep.

Granted, but the longer you stay awake, the faster you age.

I wish I had a whole bunch of kittens.

Granted, but they are dead.

I wish I could eat sugar without it being toxic in my body.

You can, but only if you abstain from water.

I wish we could never grow old.

Granted, but we live long past the deaths of everyone we care about.

I wish Pokemon were real.

Granted, but you can't catch them.

I wish that I could ban members that I think are horrible.

Granted, but you have to give yourself a five day ban every time you ban someone.

I wish I could ride a dragon.

Granted but The Dragon must also ride you

I wish I was getting married to Alex Turner

Granted, but then you'd be married to Alex Turner.

I wish I didn't have any debts.

No problem, just kick this puppy to death first!

I wish I was more assertive

Granted, but you've killed your whole family.

I wish penguins were as common as robins.

Granted, but they're all dead and you can't have one

I wish CDs were cheaper in Norway

Granted, but every time you buy a CD your pen!s shrink one tenth of an inch.


I wish I could **** every vagina on the planet of Earth without getting STDs.

That's cool, but they're all incredibly loose.

I wish I didn't need money.

Meh, I havne't gotten laid in so long anything is bettrer than nothingng

i swear to fvck my eyes are gonna turn solid white soon.

someone get me laid, plesae.

Now I'm thinking Silence of the Lambs

"would you **** me? I'd **** me"

Granted, but you pay for stuff in the form of anal.

I wish I had dreadlocks.

I'm wasted so bare with me here.

I think you're a milf. And, I liek your username. Husker Du are my jams.

Wanna hook up? I live in friisco. That's S-a-n F-r-a-n-c-i-s-c-o. Call me, gorgeous.

Editz:

I wish I could get laid without getting obsessive over a meaningless one night stand.

Granted, but you'll have to wear a fedora 24/7

I wish I had dark hair

Granted, but it falls out.

I wish I could go back in time and meet Marilyn Monroe.

Granted, but only if you have a threesome with her and a sumo wrestler.

I wish I could be happy every day instead of 1/7 days of the week without the assistance of alcohol.

Granted, but she has a very contagious skin disease

I wish horror films were all G-rated

EDIT: That was for Vanilla.

Granted, but you'll need strong antidepressants with a 1/5th chance of bursting your liver

You have a lovely meeting but now the space time continuum is screwed up and the present is overrun by giant spiders.

I wish i had the world's biggest record collection

Briks, granted but now snuff films are the norm because people hate G ratings

Granted, but it's made up entirely of Nickelback albums

I wish vegetables tasted like cake

Granted, but you gain diabetes.

I wish I had a 20 inch cock.

Briks, you clearly aren't eating vegetables prepared on the propers.

Veggies are delicious.

Zuchinni? More or less every kind of squash? Too many people slice that **** razor thin and sautee it until it becomes a watery wafer of disappointment. Cube it up into bite-sized pieces! Be surprised at the amazingness that is: the vegetable.


Anyways, wish granted but it's a terrible cake that you're allergic to.






I wish I was taller and not so emaciated-looking.

Granted, but you're so big that you never get laid again.

I wish i could travel the world

Granted. However, all your organs are outside of your body