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Old 06-27-2019, 08:00 PM   #91 (permalink)
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The Twins Effect



I don't even know where to start with this one. It's like someone watched Blade and said "Yo, I bet I could turn this into a retarded romcom."

If you like generic hoodie vampires breakdance-fighting with swordsmen in between scenes of gratuitous slapstick, congrats, you just found your holy grail. Within the first five minutes, that dude with the weird beard from the elite vampire council in Blade gets flipped upside down and hammer-fist smashed in the nuts.

Mere words can't even do this **** proper justice. This movie is ****ing randomness incarnate. One minute, a Manowar reject is dropkicking people through a greenhouse. The next, some wacky vamps sit down for a nice glass of Chateau Blood. Cut to two girls having an aerial kung fu battle over a teddy bear. Five seconds later, two characters are crashing Jackie Chan's wedding (not kidding).

And you know what? It's actually kinda adorable.

Banana flavored vampire antidote cakes/10
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Old 06-27-2019, 08:03 PM   #92 (permalink)
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God damn I wish I could come across a box of random Hong Kong movies.
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