neo1

this is a song i wrote, i would appreciate any kind of feedback on advice on how to improve it, or what you thought about it, thanx, -neo1

This is my broken pride
These are the tears i've cried
These are the times i lied
These are the darkest times
This is my pain
These dark days
Are all that remains
When i'm away from you
This seems like an eternity
Why did you show me
What it means to be lonely
I screamed out for you
But you don't hear me
Don't hear my screams
Don't hear my pleads
All of these broken dreams
For nothing it seems
And all i'm left with
Is this feeling i missed
But i know i won't forget
No matter how hard i try
You're inside of my mind
Until the day i die
I'll continue to confide
Inside of this fact
And look back
Knowing that
I once had
A reason to trust
A reason to love
And rise above
I know i must
Give this up
My only one

This is my release
With all of my energy
I tried to be
Everything you see
(Everything you need)
But i wasn't good enough
To give me all of your love
But before i give up
I'll show you what you did to me
(Broken dream)

This is me all alone
This is me lost without hope
This is me on my own
WIthout a home
These are the struggles
From the burning rubble
A fire still burns
That makes me hurt
When will i learn
WHen will it be my turn
To know this
To find a solace
But here i lay afraid to make a move
And try to prove
My worth to you
Everything moving way too fast
An impossible task
A question to ask
Can you hear
And taste all of my fear
All of my tears
Lying here
I'm lost inside this dream
There's nothing left but these
Reasons to leave
Can you see
What you did to me
You selfish bitch
I hope you ****ing burn in hell for this ****
You make me live
I tried to give
You everything
And it left me wondering
Was it really worth anything

This is my release
With all of my energy
I tried to be
Everything you see
(Everything you need)
But i wasn't good enough
To give me all of your love
But before i give up
I'll show you what you did to me
(Broken dream)

You won't control me
You won't tell me what to do
You will hate me
When i scream back at you
I'll show you these
Tears i shed in vain
I'll release
All of my pain
My crimson mask
My regret
Looking past
These words again
When will you see
You reap what you sow
You'll beg, you'll plead
When you finally know

This is my release
With all of my energy
I tried to be
Everything you see
(Everything you need)
But i wasn't good enough
To give me all of your love
But before i give up
I'll show you what you did to me
(Broken dream)

AmyLeeFan

I loved your lyrics! There WAY better then Linkin Park. A bit fowl but a work of art.
But, don't you get worried with your lyrics on-line where anyone in the world could steal them?

AmyLeeFan