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Dark Party 02-14-2007 02:17 PM

18 Rock Bands That Should be Erased from Rock History
 
There have been many of bad rock n’ roll bands. But to make this list, I set a few strict rules:

1. Bands only. No solo artists
2. This is about bands that have a history – no one-hit wonders, no one-album phenomenon , no here today-gone tomorrow bands
3. The band has to have at least one gold album

These are the bands that deserve to be completely eliminated from the annals of rock history. These are the bands that – to get cerebral and quite academic – suck. They bring nothing to the table except massively delusional fans (who will protest like 3-year-olds having temper tantrums when they see their band listed below).

So without further ado, here are the worst bands in rock history:

STYX

It is hard to believe that Styx had several multi-platinum albums. This is, after all, the band who released some of the most revolting singles of all time in “Lady” and “Come Sail Away.” Lead singer Dennis DeYoung, despite having one of the worst warbles in rock history, is also an accomplished accordion player. Need we say anymore?

Factoid: The first name for the band was “The Tradewinds.”

Worst Album: Pieces of Eight (1978)

Gag Inducing Song: “Mr. Roboto”

CULTURE CLUB

Boy George introduced the Amish hat into 80s culture and was responsible for helping make popular oversized shirts that hung down to the knees. At the same time he was destroying the fashion world, he was also helping drive a stake through the heart of alternative music. Culture Club’s pop-laden fluff is so sickly sweet and the lyrics so sugary that diabetics should avoid it at all costs.

Factoid: Boy George sang as “Lieutenant Lush” with Bow Wow Wow before joining Culture Club.

Worst Album: Kissing to be Clever (1982)

Gag Inducing Song: “Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?” (the answer, of course, is a responding yes).

KANSAS

Kansas, believe it or not, is still touring. There has yet to be a tragic bus accident. Kansas was one of those power bands in the 1970s that was so damn earnest and serious (they labeled themselves a progress rock band) that they ended up as simply annoying. Beware of bands named after states, countries, and continents. They don’t have great track records.

Factoid: Part of the resurgence of Kansas can be blamed on the movie “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure,” which featured the song “Dust in the Wind.”

Worst Album: Monolith (1979)

Gag Inducing Song: “Dust in the Wind”

ASIA

Asia was formed from the remnants of three **** bands: Yes, King Crimson, and Emerson, Lake & Palmer. All of three of those bands were considered for this list. But why bother when you can put Asia on the list? Here was an alleged “super” band whose best song was “Heat of the Moment.” Are you catching what we’re laying down here? This band sucks pond scum.

Factoid: The song “Heat of the Moment” is sung by Eric Cartman and the U.S. Congress in an episode of “South Park.”

Worst Album: Alpha (1983)

Gag Inducing Song: “The Heat Goes On”

AIR SUPPLY

Soft rock is an oxymoron and Air Supply was king of the soft rock bands. The band performed love ballads that made the average person want to saw off their wrists with a sharp razor. The most difficult part about writing about Air Supply is coming up with their most gag inducing song – because all of their singles fill your mouth with bile.

Factoid: Founders Graham Russell and Russell Hitch**** meant during a performance of “Jesus Christ Superstar” in 1975.

Worst Album: The One That You Love (1981)

Gag Inducing Song: “Here I Am (Just When I Thought I Was Over You”

EUROPE

Europe is the most famous Swedish rock band of all time – selling more than 10 million albums. It’s almost enough to make you want to wipe the country off the face of the earth. Abba, my friends, is twice the band Europe is.

Factoid: Europe has sold more than 10 million albums worldwide.

Worst Album: The Final Countdown (1986)

Gag Inducing Song: “Carrie”

HUEY LEWIS & THE NEWS

Some people (deranged people) will argue against Huey’s inclusion on this list. Harmless, they’ll mutter. They’ll say: Wasn’t “I Want a New Drug” kind of a good song? They’ll add, didn’t the band win an academy award? Don’t listen to these nut jobs. Huey Lewis & the News were awful – so light weight that it’s amazing they didn’t just float away.

Factoid: Huey Lewis has a cameo in the movie “Back to the Future.”

Worst Album: Fore! (1986)

Gag Inducing Song: “Hip to be Square”

REO SPEEDWAGON

Here’s a mid-western arena rock band famous for power ballads. Can someone just shoot us in the goddamn head? And they’re still around – sometimes touring with Styx and Journey (you know – country fairs and rock clubs that attract fifty-something drunkards and their overweight girlfriends). The song “Can’t Fight This Feeling” makes us want to tear the radio out of our car.

Factoid: The name REO Speedwagon comes from a truck built by REO Motor Car Company.

Worst Album: You Can Tune a Piano, But You Can’t Tuna Fish (1978)

Gag Inducing Song: “Keep On Loving You”

THE MOODY BLUES

This band came over with the British invasion that brought America the Who, Rolling Stones, the Beatles, and the Yardbirds. And that’s just about enough classic rock to forgive England for this mistake of rock band. We hate the Moody Blues. “Nights in White Satin” is the most overrated “get-it-out-of-my-head” singles ever produced – and that’s their best song. Please make them go away.

Factoid: The band broke up in 1973, but alas, they reformed several years later to put out the 1978 album “Octave.”

Worst Album: To Our Children’s Children’s Children (1969)

Gag Inducing Song: “Nights in White Satin” (ARRRHHH!!!)

JOURNEY

Journey may be the most annoying band on the list because Steve Perry may be the most annoying singer in rock history. Describing his lilting voice as “grating” would be doing a disservice to cheese graters. The band was famous in the early 1980s for its “power ballads” – another word for loud, sappy love songs. And now they simply won’t go away, mostly because they are extremely popular in Japan. Go figure.

Factoid: The band was formed from members of Santana in 1973. Obviously, there was a reason Carlos kicked them out of his band.

Worst Album: Infinity

Gag Inducing Song: “Open Arms” (1982)

I could fit the whole text because of site limitations, but you can read about the next eight on the list here: HERE

tdoc210 02-14-2007 02:54 PM

wow you called yes elp and king crimson ****
you should probably go shoot yourself

sleepy jack 02-14-2007 02:57 PM

I refuse to take any review seriously named "DaRK PaRTY"

Sneer 02-14-2007 03:05 PM

i refuse to take any reviewer seriously when he includes radiohead and SP in such a list. I'd question the inclusion of moody blues too.

Dark Party 02-14-2007 03:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crowquill (Post 336255)
I refuse to take any review seriously named "DaRK PaRTY"

Maybe you should get your reviews from "Blender" or "Rolling Stone."

sleepy jack 02-14-2007 03:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dark Party (Post 336264)
Maybe you should get your reviews from "Blender" or "Rolling Stone."

I will, even pitchfork is better then you, honestly radiohead?

What do you listen to, Iron Maiden and Metallica?

swim 02-14-2007 03:19 PM

I don't take reviews seriously. <---see that, that's a period, the end.

Dark Party 02-14-2007 03:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stu (Post 336258)
i refuse to take any reviewer seriously when he includes radiohead and SP in such a list. I'd question the inclusion of moody blues too.

Radiohead is god awful. They're a high-brow lounge act.

And "Nights in White Satin" is one of the worst rock songs of all time.

Dark Party 02-14-2007 03:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crowquill (Post 336265)
I will, even pitchfork is better then you, honestly radiohead?

What do you listen to, Iron Maiden and Metallica?

No, I listen to REM, U2, Led Zeppelin, Rage Against the Machine, The Doors, Miles Davis, John Coltrane, AC/DC, Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Alice in Chains, Pink Floyd, the Grateful Dead, Rolling Stones, Beatles, Van Halen, Coldplay, and many others.

sleepy jack 02-14-2007 03:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dark Party (Post 336268)
No, I listen to REM, U2, Led Zeppelin, Rage Against the Machine, The Doors, Miles Davis, John Coltrane, AC/DC, Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Alice in Chains, Pink Floyd, the Grateful Dead, Rolling Stones, Beatles, Van Halen, Coldplay, and many others.

Hahahhahaha.
Okay that explains alot then.

right-track 02-14-2007 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dark Party (Post 336267)

And "Nights in White Satin" is one of the worst rock songs of all time.

A rock song?
It's a love ballad.

I like this thread by the way.

Sneer 02-14-2007 03:26 PM

HAH, you put radiohead in that list whilst listening to the likes of coldplay, U2 and pearl jam. Made me laugh.

right-track 02-14-2007 03:28 PM

Am I the only one that can't see Radiohead in that list? :confused:

swim 02-14-2007 03:30 PM

^I can only 10 and I can't see Radiohead and I quoted to try to read the others and it only quoted 10.

sleepy jack 02-14-2007 03:31 PM

http://darkpartyreview.blogspot.com/...ear-drums.html

right-track 02-14-2007 03:33 PM

I didn't see the link and was going off his/her post.

How come you left Radiohead out of your post?

sleepy jack 02-14-2007 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dark Party (Post 336248)
I could fit the whole text because of site limitations, but you can read about the next eight on the list here: HERE

.

right-track 02-14-2007 03:38 PM

*puts out spliff* :0

Urban Hat€monger ? 02-14-2007 03:44 PM

Oi mate you missed Pearl Jam & U2 off your list

Dark Party 02-14-2007 05:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stu (Post 336271)
HAH, you put radiohead in that list whilst listening to the likes of coldplay, U2 and pearl jam. Made me laugh.

Glad I made your day. I'm the first to admit that music is subjective. I realize that there are mentally deranged people who actually wiggle their hips to REO Speedwagon and Kansas.

But most of the post here are to defend Radiohead. Most of us agree on most of the others.

And you can't call U2 and Pearl Jam bad bands. You might not like them -- but they have made an impact on music. You can't say the same about Culture Club and Quiet Riot.

I'll also add that I like the Cure, Sonic Youth, David Bowie, Soundgarden, most punk rock, Bruce Springsteen, Elvis, Johnny Cash, Bob Dylan and most jazz music.

swim 02-14-2007 05:54 PM

Springsteen is the zenith of horrible.

sleepy jack 02-14-2007 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dark Party (Post 336381)
And you can't call U2 and Pearl Jam bad bands. You might not like them -- but they have made an impact on music. You can't say the same about Culture Club and Quiet Riot.

Yeah same with Radiohead.

I'll also add that I like the Cure, Sonic Youth, David Bowie, Soundgarden, most punk rock, Bruce Springsteen, Elvis, Johnny Cash, Bob Dylan and most jazz music.[/QUOTE]

Cliched tastes ftw.

Sparky 02-14-2007 06:01 PM

i only counted 10...
are we supposed to add 8 or something?

swim 02-14-2007 06:02 PM

http://darkpartyreview.blogspot.com/...ear-drums.html

I didn't see it either but it's in the first post.

Sparky 02-14-2007 06:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by swimintheundertow (Post 336390)
http://darkpartyreview.blogspot.com/...ear-drums.html

I didn't see it either but it's in the first post.

damn radiohead? seriously?

Kevorkian Logic 02-14-2007 06:14 PM

1. Bands only. No solo artists
2. This is about bands that have a history – no one-hit wonders, no one-album phenomenon , no here today-gone tomorrow bands
3. The band has to have at least one gold album


Why these rules? As long as they're rock bands they should be counted, right?

Sneer 02-14-2007 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dark Party (Post 336381)
And you can't call U2 and Pearl Jam bad bands. You might not like them -- but they have made an impact on music. You can't say the same about Culture Club and Quiet Riot.

i think both U2 and Pearl Jam are hideously overrated. And yes, music is subjective, but how can you say they've both had an impact on music THEN put radiohead in a list of 18 bands that should disappear? doesnt make sense. Radiohead are more important to music than both.

MURDER JUNKIE 02-14-2007 06:19 PM

F*ck, I like REO Speedwagon

I guess I'm not cool enough for this thread:(

Loser 02-14-2007 06:20 PM

I don't think Peral Jam but no doubt U2 is over rated them and green day.

Strummer521 02-14-2007 06:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crowquill (Post 336384)
Cliched tastes ftw.

I don't think tastes be considered cliched. You don't really choose them (in the traditional sense of the word choose). You just like what you like. Granted it depends on what you expose yourself to, but maybe he's listened to tons of other stuff and doesn't care for it. Liking popular stuff isn't wrong just because it's not hip.

Kevorkian Logic 02-14-2007 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Strummer521 (Post 336410)
I don't think tastes be considered cliched. You don't really choose them (in the traditional sense of the word choose). You just like what you like. Granted it depends on what you expose yourself to, but maybe he's listened to tons of other stuff and doesn't care for it. Liking popular stuff isn't wrong just because it's not hip.

I swear this argument happens over and over agian

Dark Party 02-14-2007 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crowquill (Post 336384)
Yeah same with Radiohead.

I'll also add that I like the Cure, Sonic Youth, David Bowie, Soundgarden, most punk rock, Bruce Springsteen, Elvis, Johnny Cash, Bob Dylan and most jazz music.

Cliched tastes ftw.[/QUOTE]

Really? And what do you listen to? I also like less popular bands such as the 5.6.7.8's, the Dandy Warhols, Dropkick Murphys, Eels, The White Stripes, The Feelies, Schtum and the Verve. But I'm not sure what you mean by cliched.

A_Perfect_Sonnet 02-14-2007 08:00 PM

Well, the plus side is that if Radiohead were erased, I wouldn't have to listen to people trying to say Sigur Ros sounds like their B-Sides.

Threadstarter has a lame taste in music.

Crowe 02-14-2007 08:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Strummer521 (Post 336410)
I don't think tastes be considered cliched. You don't really choose them (in the traditional sense of the word choose). You just like what you like. Granted it depends on what you expose yourself to, but maybe he's listened to tons of other stuff and doesn't care for it. Liking popular stuff isn't wrong just because it's not hip.

THANK YOU. That has been one of my huge problems with these boards in particular- God forbid someone likes bands that other people like - I mean, hey, they are on Rolling Stones top 100 Bands list, it's not cool to like those... COME ON.

StrumStrum for the WIN.

Sparky 02-14-2007 08:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by

Really? And what do you listen to? I also like less popular bands such as the 5.6.7.8's, the [B
Dandy Warhols[/B], Dropkick Murphys, Eels, The White Stripes, The Feelies, Schtum and the Verve. But I'm not sure what you mean by cliched.

those are all pretty well known at my school..
not saying that its bad! im just saying some of them aren't that underground..

Kevorkian Logic 02-14-2007 08:31 PM

three **** bands: Yes, King Crimson, and Emerson,

King Crimson????

but why?

sleepy jack 02-14-2007 09:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dark Party (Post 336453)

Really? And what do you listen to? I also like less popular bands such as the 5.6.7.8's, the Dandy Warhols, Dropkick Murphys, Eels, The White Stripes, The Feelies, Schtum and the Verve. But I'm not sure what you mean by cliched.

You like less popular stuff...such as the white stripes? loll.

And I listen to Elliott Smith, Bright Eyes, Cap'n Jazz, Patrick Wolf, Circle Takes The Square, The Fall Of Troy, Million Dead, Sigur Ros, etc.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Strummer521 (Post 336410)
I don't think tastes be considered cliched. You don't really choose them (in the traditional sense of the word choose). You just like what you like. Granted it depends on what you expose yourself to, but maybe he's listened to tons of other stuff and doesn't care for it. Liking popular stuff isn't wrong just because it's not hip.

Tastes can be cliche, most things can be cliche. I've seen people like him who worship the SAME exact bands over and over.

I have no problem with popular music, I listen to Pieces Of Me frequently, and like Blink 182 and Avril Lavigne.

either/or 02-15-2007 01:37 AM

man bono really really really really sucks. coldplay and u2 are stadium music for overweight women. you like soppy music. radiohead made "art" albums because they didnt want to be like all the boring bands you like mr. party. besides shouldnt we be looking at the music we do like instead of trashing all the ones we dont? it seems like you spend more time fuming about what bands you hate than listening to the ones you like.

Cheese 02-15-2007 01:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crowquill (Post 336265)
I will, even pitchfork is better then you, honestly radiohead?

What do you listen to, Iron Maiden and Metallica?

Hassle Metallica all you like,but leave Maiden well alone.

sleepy jack 02-15-2007 02:36 AM

I don't have much of a problem with either bands, (well I have a few with metallica..) I like some maiden songs actually. its more those idiotic metalheads.


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