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Old 06-18-2008, 07:24 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default The Beatles, U2, and Radiohead: the three worst bands in history

Three band names that hurt to type. The three most terrible, crappy, over rated
bands of all time.
U2 -1. The only thing worse than U2 is a snobby U2 fan They think they are so hip now that U2 has their own iPod commercial. wow, you're on an iPod commercial?
2. As for the "Vertigo" song itself, it's a mix of twangy guitars, unnecessary spanish, and Bono's stupid glasses. By the way, just because a singer wears stupid goggles doesn't mean that they're suddenly cool or hip. Oooh look! Bono the rock star is wearing redneck Nascar goggles, let's all fellate him for being so rebellious; take that Hollywood! They're still the same goggles that dumbass Nascar fans wear to every boring Nascar "event." Man I hate Nascar. And while I'm at it, here's a quick open letter to the NASCAR community: quit writing poems about Dale Earnhardt. Nobody cares. And no, it wasn't NASCAR's fault for not making the tracks wide enough. Nobody would watch NASCAR if it weren't for the wrecks because it's BORING. You love the wrecks because it gives you people something to talk about in your boring lives; don't get all teary eyed when one of your redneck heroes bites it, you hypocritical turds. The wall won, get over it.
3. Anyway, back to Vertigo: this song sucks so much because of the unique tag-team trio of ****ty music, the forced chic of iPod ads, and its stupid fan base. I looked around on some U2 message boards to see what the fans were saying about this song and its turgid lyrics, here's what fan member "Bob" has to say:

"Vertigo actually has some seriously heavy lyric - but I bet most of mainstream radio listeners will never know what they mean - I love that! It makes me feel priviledged to know what the man has to say - there are so many invaluable messages in their albums, certainly this one will be another thought provoking and life influencing scripture."

Here's a sample of the "seriously heavy lyrics" in Vertigo:
WoooAoo! WoooAoo! WoooAoo! WoooAoo! (see 1:20-1:26 in the song)

And who could forget this poignant verse:
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah,
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. (see 2:59 - 3:06 in the song)

Yeah, real heavy lyrics, dip****. When Bono's not mumbling like an idiot, he's trying to be emotional by flailing his arms in the air like he's so overcome that he can't help but bellow out a limp-**** line like "I can feeeeEEEEEEeeeeeel." Pussy.

Bono is 44. He's too old to "rock." I know people have been saying the same thing about Rolling Stones for years now, and every time the Rolling Stones go on tour, they prove their critics right. Give it a rest. I don't even blame U2 for this, it's you stupid fans. Maybe they'll stop annoying us with obnoxious commercials if you morons would stop lapping this **** up like anti-freeze at a petting zoo.

Yet another fan on a message board had this to say about "Miracle Drug:"

I think that Bono turns pop culture upside down with the line "I've had enough of romantic love."

Wow, how profound. Look out pop-culture! Bono has had enough of "romantic love." Here comes Bono and his idiotic fans to make ambiguous jabs at you.

4. The song, Love and Peace or Else.
If there was a list of things a pacifist should never say, "or else" would probably top it. Everything about this song is stupid. Love and peace or else? Or else what, you pussies? What are you going to do about it? Sing another crybaby song for your crybaby fans? Tough **** bitches, war kicks ass.

Can't you hippies just piss off and surrender somewhere quietly for once without singing a song about it?

5. The song, Crumbs From Your Table.
This song is about how America and its wealthiest people don't do enough to help solve world hunger. The title suggests that crumbs from our table could help starving people in Africa. Bono indicts America for being hypocritical with these lines:

Would you deny for others
What you demand for yourself?

Bono could not be reached for comment as he was stepping off his private jet and into his limousine. Hypocritical Bitch.

6. The song, Yahweh.
This quote epitomizes U2's pious, holier-than-thou attitude:

"I don't know why, but we always had this belief that there was something sacred about our music, that it was almost holy."
-Bono, pompous ******* and lead singer of U2
****y, high-handed, imperial *******s.

The Beatles:
nahhhhhhhh nahh nahh NAH NAH NAH NAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NAH NAH NAH NAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH heyyyyyy juuuuuude. For four ****ing minutes.
I was once told by someone that i needed to start listening to some music with FEELING and POWER in the lyrics. I was sent this song, which immediately after listening to i required emergency room service to stop the bleeding in my ears. What epic feeling with those lyrics huh? Dip****s.

Radiohead:
Radiohead has been called the most creative band of their era.

Fake Plastic Trees - Radiohead
vs
Disposable Heroes - Metallica

Nothing more needs to be said.
I wanted to list a few honorable mentions, such as "Maroon 5" and their crappy synthesized vocals, but I don't have the time or the patience to listen to any more of this garbage. Piss off.
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Old 06-18-2008, 07:26 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Go read the lyrics to Disposable Heroes, listen to the rest of Metallica's catalogue, get the guitar action in there. I dunno, I tihnk they win. I think YOU win. I can't agree more with you, seeing how you used my Hey Jude deal. Seriously, 3:15-6:32, and the song faded out and was still going... I was PISSED.
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Old 06-18-2008, 07:27 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Nice copy and paste job, ****wit.
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Old 06-18-2008, 07:28 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Old 06-18-2008, 07:31 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Banned for trolling / multiple accounts anyway.
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