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Old 10-06-2008, 04:09 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Exclamation The Ultimate Hipster Playlist / Good Albums that Suck Because You Exist


I'd like to preface this by saying that although this list is technically my "opinion," my convictions are such that this list is nothing short of concrete FACT. Do not come here and bitch at me how good these albums are. This thread bears no regard to whether these albums are actually "good" or not. Also: your mother is a whore.

That being said, I suppose I should explain how this perverse idea of mine came into existence...

I've been wanting to do this for a while...a very long while. I've noticed how people will form an opinion about an album when a) they've heard the album a maximum of one time before they formulate an opinion about it or b) take no notice of the album as anything spectacular until they've cottoned onto everyone else's opinions. My perception of a piece of music has been distorted so strongly before I listen to it that I can seldom tell whether I actually like it or not. I've been trying to reprise this terrible habit of late, but it's a laborious process and requires a solid surface to bash my head on before I can squeeze out an opinion. But at least I'm trying.

There are some people who do not try. There are some people who cast aspersions on an album before they actually listen to it. There are some people who actually herald albums as "the greatest album of all time" before they've heard a single fucking note of it. These...are hipsters. These are the people that take the sparse fecal droppings which fall from the flabby ass-cheeks of music critics as gold. These are the people that have subscriptions to NME, Pitchfork, Kerrang!, Sputnik, etc...and actually read them. Well, not read. But at least skim -- to find out which albums they should buy and which ones they should troll music forums about.

These people deserve to die. Well, not die. But sit in a cage for twenty-four hours a day listening to the trashy Streets album they bought thinking that the critics were right.

There are many, many people in the world that are hipsters. And some don't even know it. For most part, they're normal, just like you and me (okay, not me): they go to work/school for forty hours a week, party on weekends and occasionally get laid. Between the times which they've got headphones on, it's hard to tell them apart from the rest of the world. But come those few hours a day in which they glory in the shit that's been casually dripping through their speakers, they are a different being entirely. And there's ways of telling:
  • Do you have less muscle mass than a limp fish?
  • Do your clothes frequently ride up your legs and torso?
  • Do you have oversized glasses (with enormous lenses and thick rims)?
  • Do you own a pair of Converse All-Stars or similar model?
  • Girls: do you wear less makeup than your boyfriends?
  • Is your wardrobe split into ironic t-shirts and super-tight jeans?
If so, you might be a hipster! Congratulations!

Now, those might apply for situations in real life, but what's the best possible way of diagnosis via Last.FM? Specifically, these: a list of ten albums a hipster wouldn't get caught missing -- the ultimate hipster playlist, if you will. All in good time.
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Old 10-06-2008, 04:15 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lucifer_sam View Post
  • Do you have less muscle mass than a limp fish?
  • Do your clothes frequently ride up your legs and torso?
  • Do you have oversized glasses (with enormous lenses and thick rims)?
  • Do you own a pair of Converse All-Stars or similar model?
  • Girls: do you wear less makeup than your boyfriends?
  • Is your wardrobe split into ironic t-shirts and super-tight jeans?
If so, you might be a hipster! Congratulations!
Phew! I can sleep easier tonight knowing I'm not a hipster.
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Old 10-06-2008, 04:17 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I am far too fucking hip for this thread.
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Old 10-06-2008, 04:19 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Is this speaking from experience?
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Old 10-06-2008, 04:22 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Is this speaking from experience?
I intended to just listen to my roommate's music for the next few weeks.

I do own all the albums in question.
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Old 10-06-2008, 06:50 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lucifer_sam View Post

I've noticed how people will form an opinion about an album when a) they've heard the album a maximum of one time before they formulate an opinion about it or b) take no notice of the album as anything spectacular until they've cottoned onto everyone else's opinions. My perception of a piece of music has been distorted so strongly before I listen to it that I can seldom tell whether I actually like it or not. ...
so you've fallen for the critics reviews at some point yourself

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Originally Posted by lucifer_sam View Post

There are some people who do not try. There are some people who cast aspersions on an album before they actually listen to it. There are some people who actually herald albums as "the greatest album of all time" before they've heard a single fucking note of it. These...are hipsters. These are the people that take the sparse fecal droppings which fall from the flabby ass-cheeks of music critics as gold. These are the people that have subscriptions to NME, Pitchfork, Kerrang!, Sputnik, etc...and actually read them. Well, not read. But at least skim -- to find out which albums they should buy and which ones they should troll music forums about.
in a forum like this
there are lots of people who are just looking to expand their musical horizons
they don't really know that much about all the genres and bands
but they want to join in so that they can become well-versed also
just like the posters here that they admire

btw, i've never heard of those publications
but that's exactly where i'd go if i wanted to understand the 'state-of-the-art'

Quote:
Originally Posted by lucifer_sam View Post
These people deserve to die. Well, not die. But sit in a cage for twenty-four hours a day listening to the trashy Streets album they bought thinking that the critics were right.
losing the money on the crappy album isn't enough of a punishment?

Quote:
Originally Posted by lucifer_sam View Post
... But come those few hours a day in which they glory in the shit that's been casually dripping through their speakers, they are a different being entirely. And there's ways of telling:

...LIST...

Now, those might apply for situations in real life, but what's the best possible way of diagnosis via Last.FM? Specifically, these: a list of ten albums a hipster wouldn't get caught missing -- the ultimate hipster playlist, if you will. All in good time.
you've just described my playlist i think

i try to listen to a bunch of different stuff from the various music mix threads
because i'm not exposed to any mainstream tunes

please
try not to be too hard on us newbies okay?

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Old 10-06-2008, 07:00 PM   #7 (permalink)
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What the hell kind of hipster reads Kerrang?
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Old 10-06-2008, 07:11 PM   #8 (permalink)
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This should be good.
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Old 10-06-2008, 07:30 PM   #9 (permalink)
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So essentially 10 contemporary overrated albums?
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Old 10-06-2008, 08:08 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Anything that's sold even modestly by a new band is sure to be slightly overrated. No, my goal is to offend everybody on some scale here. These will be BIG. (and I'm hoping somewhat humourous)
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